CityView Magazine

on second thought To Live Well and Fully BY MARY ZAHRAN T he beginning of a new year always offers us the op- portunity to reflect on our lives —where we have been in the past year and where we would like to go in the future. Consequently we make all kinds of resolutions: We vow to lose 10 pounds, to save more money or to clean out the garage in the hope that these actions will give us some measure of control in our daily lives. This year, I have decided to reflect on the really big picture, as in my entire fame, at least by the world's standards, she did enjoy a life filled with the love and respect of friends and family as she quietly and competently attended to the needs of her family and community. Her passing leſt a space that no one else can fill, and those who knew her cherish her memory. Who could ask for a better life than that? The second obituary demonstrates that, even in death, we can find humor. The zany but affectionate tribute to New York native Robert Spiegel by his son sic: "Despite our repeated attempts to transform our mother into a Lady Gaga fan, she listened steadfastly to Ella Fitzgerald and Rosemary Clooney to the very end." I hope they mention my love of chocolate: "Our beloved mother was living proof that a person can consume massive amounts of chocolate without overdosing." I hope they mention my love for Topsail Beach: "Although there were numerous reports that our mother's This year, I have decided to reflect on the really big picture, as in my entire life, as in what someone would write or say about me after I die. life, as in what someone would write or say about me aſter I die. I have two people to thank for this existential overhaul, and, ironically, I never met either one of them. I did, however, read their obituaries and was so inspired by them that I began to think about my own obituary (which, I hope, is still many, many years away from being published). The first obituary, which appeared in The Fayetteville Observer in early December, describes Mary Daniels McRainey Bradish as a woman who "lived well and fully." She was a de- voted wife, mother and grandmother who adored Topsail Beach (one of my favorite places on earth). Although she never enjoyed any grand success or 16 | January/February • 2012 Jeff has become an Internet sensation. The former English professor and die- hard Mets fan passed away recently aſter a long battle with dementia and heart disease. His passion for baseball litera- ture was, according to his son, "a thinly veiled therapy to alleviate…the suffer- ings he endured from 40 years as a de- vout Mets fan." He even jokes about his father's dementia, noting that whereas "the disease did thankfully erase most memories of the '62 Mets season, it eventually also claimed his life." Wow. Can a pie in the face be far behind? Aſter reading Spiegel's obituary, nat- urally I wondered what my daughters would have to say about me. I hope they mention my love of mu- ultra-white legs blinded beachgoers on Topsail Island, there is no scientific proof that this alleged phenomenon ac- tually occurred." Most of all, I hope they mention my "Our dear, departed love of family: mother only yelled at the people she truly loved, and then only when it was absolutely necessary." Whatever they write, I hope there is some humor in my obituary because no one appreciates the ironies of life more than I do. More than anything else, I hope that when I die, however near or far that time may be, my family can describe me as a woman who "lived well and fully." CV Mary Zahran can be reached at mary zahran@gmail.com.

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