Up & Coming Weekly

DECEMBER 9-15, 2009 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Taking a Shrine to Him I've been seeing a guy for six months. It's frustrating because I initiate our get-togethers, and he returns my calls but rarely calls me, and we've only been intimate a few times. He went away for five weeks, and because I missed him, I asked if he'd e-mail a photo, which he did. Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I printed the photo, framed it, and placed it on my nightstand. Two weeks after he got back, he came over and noticed the photo, which I left out to see his reaction. He seemed really taken aback. The fact that he didn't leave, and we ended up having sex, gives me some comfort. But, I'm still worried about his response. Although we don't see each other regularly like most couples, I've got no reason to believe he's seeing someone else. But, we also haven't had "The Talk." Perhaps the photo was a good way to initiate it — Restless If absence makes the heart grow fonder, what would you say a restraining order will do? Seeing the framed photo had to make this guy wonder...no, not what the children will look like, but where's this whack job hiding the rest of her obsession kit: the butt of that cigarette he smoked, the fork that once touched his lips, the steel door handle he pushed entering the hardware store? This is a guy you know about three shades better than the guy who makes your latte at Starbucks. Turning your nightstand into Shrine Of The Guy You're Kinda Sorta Seeing isn't clever or flattering, it's creepsville. Don't kid yourself that it's a good sign he stuck around to knock boots. For a guy, sex is like a bag of chips. If it's in arm's reach, he'll help himself to some. There's an old line, "Chase a man until he catches you," meaning it's a woman's job to flirt, to let a guy know she's open to him asking her out. And while some guys will tell you they love when women chase them, men tend to devalue women they don't have to work to get. They might date you, and even get serious with you, but not necessarily because they're really into you, but because hey, you asked, and why not? To weed these guys out, never do the asking. The most forward sort of thing you should do is maybe tease a guy by leaning in and whispering that he's hot, then continuing on your way. That's his cue to chase you — if he's interested enough — as opposed to lying down to make it easier for you to drag him back to your lair. This advice shouldn't be news to you because you e-mailed me about this guy six months ago, and I told you he didn't show enough initiative, and you should drop him. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. That was "drop him," not "drop him off at the photo processing desk at CVS." You need to pull together a sense of self-worth. If you had it, you'd be looking for evidence a guy has feelings for you, not planting it in your bedroom. Consider this thing blown. Just as it's easy to creep somebody out but nearly impossible to uncreep them out, you probably can't make a guy want you after throwing yourself at him. In the future, if you love something, set it free. If it forgets about you until you call to ask it to dinner, have the self-respect to quick-quick put on a foreign accent and blurt out, "Hello, Mahatma? Your goat has been repaired and is ready for pickup." Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 In matters pertaining to far away places, a new opportunity should be acted upon. Educational updates and spiritual renewal brings new friends and interests. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 Emphasis on joint fi nances may come about as New Moon moves thru Invest- ment sector. Progress and benefi ts should be gained if your focus is in one direction. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. Intimate relationships are heightened when the New Moon transits your sector of "meaningful others". Additional interesting affi liations may come about. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Using new methods of utilizing skills at workplace could come to the attention of bosses as the New Moon moves thru Work sector. The stars work with you. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 New Moon gives the "go-ahead" signal where new romantic activities are involved for eligibles. Creative pursuits bring additional dollars. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 New Moon moves thru Home sector. It's the proper time to bring domestic matters to happy conclusions. Favorable time for new moves and real estate. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 New Moon may bring the pieces of a puzzle together, Past connections made in nearby places could now open new doors of opportunity. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Use the power of the New Moon as it moves thru your Money sector. More dollars could be added to your income if you pursue talent abilities. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Focus of the New Moon is on you as it moves thru your sign. Flaunt your abilities in the weeks ahead, What you do best can bring rewards. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Listen to your intuition. Solutions often come when we "sleep on concerns". Welcome an opportunity that could bring changes for the better. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Good friends should push you into delightful social happenings, New Moon focuses on sector of Hope. Be optimistic, wishes often come true! PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 20 Connect with people who are in a position to promote your ambitions. As the New Moon transits your Career sector, you know "the force is with you". NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Their Health Care Is Just Fine Without "Reform": In September, the Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers, along with four physicians and three surgical nurses, donated their services for delicate brain surgery on a 25-year-old silverback lowland gorilla at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs. [Colorado Springs Gazette, 9-25-09] Among the health-insurance upgrades demanded by Philadelphia- area transit workers and agreed to by the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority in November was removal of the 10-tablet-per- month rationing of Viagra and similar medications, to allow as many as 30 per month (according to a Philadelphia Daily News report). (The fi nal contract, reportedly even more benefi cial to the union, was being voted on by union members at press time.) [Philadelphia Inquirer, 11-6-09] Inexplicable For its Halloween gala, the Kings Island amusement park near Cincinnati had set up an exhibit featuring skeletons dressed to resemble, among other deceased celebrities, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ted Kennedy, Ed McMahon, TV salesman Billy Mays, Sonny Bono (his skeleton in front of a tree) and Ted Williams (his skeleton in front of a freezer). Alongside was a marker board labeled "agenda," with those names crossed off but others still listed, including Bernard Madoff and the comedian Carrot Top. (Following a WLWT-TV preview of the exhibit in September, the park quickly canceled it, with a spokesman declaring, "We were not intending to be distasteful.") [Dayton Daily News, 9-24-09] Robert and Roberta Masters of Prior Lake, Minn., were arrested in October and charged in connection with a series of mailbox explosions over the summer, which police say were carried out by seven teenagers who had been supplied by the couple. Police said Robert Masters bought black powder for the kids and had said it "would be a good educational tool for the kids to build pipe bombs." Roberta Masters allegedly encouraged the teens to learn on the Internet how to make pipe bombs because it would be "constructive" (but she said she had told them to be careful). [Star Tribune, 10- 15-09] The price of gasoline for U.S. troops in Afghanistan is about $400 per gallon, according to a U.S. House subcommittee in October, citing Pentagon offi cials (factoring in the security necessary to bring fuel through Pakistan). [The Hill (Washington, D.C.), 10-15-09]

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