Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/513885
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Mymother didn't like having kids. She never laughed or enjoyed us when we were growing up, and she's similar in her attitude toward her grandchildren. I once asked her why she had my brother and me so young, and she said, "It's just what everyone did at that time." I've been willing to move past this in the hope of having a strong grandparent relation- ship between her and my children, but she is not interested. I find that being around her, especially with my children pres- ent, conjures up a general unhappiness I recall from my childhood. My brother experiences the same emotions as I do. Her own childhood was tough. Her dad was an alcoholic. She laughs at the idea of counseling. At this stage in my busy life with teenage children, I'm inclined to stop trying to spend time with her and retreat to only sharing holidays and birthdays. I am at peace with the knowledge that in her early 70s, her time could be limited. She doesn't live far from my brother and me, but neither of us wants to continue making the effort. We feel ter- rible, but is this OK? —Wondering Daughter DEAR WONDERING » If you feel terrible, then you should adjust your behav- ior so you don't feel so terrible. Maybe do a little more than two holidays a year, but a little less than the forced march of your regular duty visits with the kids. Everything WILL be OK, as long as you recognize your mother's deficits as a parent, continue to move through your disappointment and work on acceptance. When you really and truly understand that your mother did what SHE knew how to do, you will also be free of your own anger and sadness. You will soften toward her, you won't force encounters and you won't feel so sad when you are with her. Eventually, you will recognize the only tri- u mp h of t h is s ad s i t ua - tion, which is that you are a loving, thoughtful and involved parent. You changed course for your children. Counseling would be a huge plus — for you. DEAR AMY » Concern- ing "Hurt Grandma" not getting thanked for gifts — as my two kids grew up, we had a rule for gifts received: Before you could wear it, play with it, or eat it, you had to thank the giver in some way, with a note, a phone call, or a verbal thank-you in person. My grandkids, now 8 1/2 and 12, still write great notes when they can or thank people in one way or another. I hope it continues. — Grateful Grandma DEAR GRATEFUL » Well done! Mother wants to stop taking the kids to see grandmother You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribune.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Taurus(April20-May20) — If asked to provide help for someone who was once close to you, do so with care. Be compassionate, but don't try to revive intimacy you once shared. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — You will burn out if you don't slow down and take care of your health. Make time for personal needs instead of just doing things for everyone else. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Don't allow anyone to push you around. If your motivations are clear, there will be no reason to accept criticism or debate from others. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You will be able to convince others to come on board if you present your ideas with vigor and dynamism. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Joint ventures look promising, but read the fine print before making a commitment. Clear your agenda in order to spend time on personal pleasures. Do something with someone you love. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Now is the time to tie up loose ends. You will gain credibility if you are seen as a take-charge individual who can handle any situation. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Don't deceive others about the way you feel. Honesty will strengthen, not weaken, a good relationship. You'll face criti- cism if you don't keep your end of the bargain. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Share your ideas. A respected acquaintance will provide the key to a home-based business venture. A sound financial investment will pay off if you are willing to work hard. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Prepare to jump at a romantic opportunity. The time is right for love. Limit large social gather- ings, and spend some one-on- one time with the person who intrigues you most. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Your dwindling bank account will require you to make some difficult choices. Durability and versatility will allow you to rise above unanticipated workplace changes. Diversify and prosper. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Someone will try to exploit your generosity. Be helpful and sympathetic, but keep your cash in a safe place. Trying to bankroll someone else's venture will be a costly mistake. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Make sure all of your bases are covered before you sign up for a joint venture or make a commit- ment. Something that sounds too good to be true will be a disappointment. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, MAY 19 TUESDAY,MAY19,2015 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B