Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/51236
Wednesday, December 28, 2011 – Daily News 5B Sister's snide, spiteful spirit sees sibling standing solo Dear Annie: My sister is snide and competitive and makes hateful comments when- ever we're togeth- er. She's a bully who has made my life difficult for the past 10 years. I tried to make things right for my parents' sake, until I realized they were too spineless to say no to her. These days, I rarely speak to her. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Avoid the wedding and take your lumps from the relatives, or attend and hope your sis- ter will behave. But we also think you should tell your sister how much it hurts when she bullies and belittles you, and ask why she finds it necessary to treat you this Her wedding is in three months, and I told her I would not be attending. After all, if she dislikes me so much, why would she want me there any- way? Now, of course, she is furious, calling me all sorts of names. My parents are hurt that I won't attend, and my grandmother says she doesn't know what's got- ten into me. Frankly, I don't care what they think. But I do care what my aunts, uncles, cousins and mutual acquaintances will believe about me if I don't show up. If they ask what's going on, I will tell them, but I'm sure my sis- ter will come up with an alternate version, and who knows which one of us they will believe? They never notice how she treats me. If I boycott the wed- ding, a huge number of people connected to my family will look at me as the worst kind of person. What should I do? — Massachusetts Dear Massachusetts: When you take a stand, you must be willing to live with the consequences: way. If you can get to the root of her animosity, per- haps things could improve. Dear Annie: I recently moved in with my boyfriend, ''Beau,'' and his roommate, ''Scott.'' Scott is usually at his girl- friend's house, so Beau and I pretty much have the place to ourselves. Scott splits the bills with us while unofficially living with his girlfriend. Scott makes the pay- ments, and we reimburse him in cash. The problem is, on more than one occa- sion, I've noticed he has been late. I just found out that the water bill is three months past due and they are ready to shut it off. We have already paid Scott our share, but I think he expects us to pay two- thirds of the past-due amount. I refuse to pay for this again, but don't know how to say it. Should we let it go? Do we ask him to write a receipt? That seems extreme, and Scott is a close friend. Moving out is not an option. What do we do? — No Way, I Won't Pay Dear No Way: It is unfair to pay twice for the same bill. But it's also unfair that Scott pays a third of the costs for a place he rarely uses. Offer to restructure your rental arrangements with Scott, and then perhaps you or Beau could take over the bill paying and let Scott reimburse you. And make sure he gets a receipt. Dear Annie: I disagree with your response to ''Grandma in Missouri,'' who requested payment for child care for her grandchildren. The parents now have resources. If they value having family care for their children, they should be willing to pay. The other option is to put the children in day care, where it will cost plenty. No one should expect oth- ers to watch their kids for free. — Paid a Family Member for 19 Years Dear Paid: We are not disputing the merits of paying Grandma. The problem is, Grandma inadvertently pushed the daughter to transfer child care to someone else who will do it for free. Now Grandma doesn't get to see the grandkids. This is a difficult result, and we feel she should talk to her daughter and see if they can reach some accommo- dation. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Benefits of proton pump inhibitors outweigh any risks DEAR DOC- TOR K: I suffer from heartburn and have been taking a proton pump inhibitor for the past few years. Should I be wor- ried about long- term side effects? DEAR READ- ER: For many peo- ple with heartburn, proton pump inhibitors (PPIs) provide great relief. Stomach acid con- tains lots of hydrogen ions, which are protons. PPI drugs inhibit the pro- duction of those protons. The PPIs include esomeprazole (Nexium), lansoprazole (Prevacid) and omeprazole (Prilosec). PPIs work by reducing the acid in our stomachs — although we need some acid to help digest our food. It also helps to kill bacteria and other germs in our stomachs that could otherwise make us sick. But sometimes excess stomach acid backs up into the esophagus, the tube that connects our mouths to our stomachs. This condition is called gastroesophageal reflux disease, better known as GERD. The acid reflux irritates the lining of the lower esophagus, causing heartburn. If you suffer from chronic heartburn and quite possibly GERD, join the crowd: There are mil- lions of us. Many people Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. with chronic reflux take a PPI indef initely. That's because reflux often returns once you discontinue the medication. By and large, PPIs have been viewed as safe medications with few drawbacks. But it turns out there may be some issues to worry about. One concern is that PPIs may increase the risk of pneumonia. How does that happen? When we get reflux, the stomach contents can sometimes go all the way up to the top of the esophagus. The top of the esophagus opens in the throat, right near where the breathing tube leading to the lungs opens. The stomach con- tents that reflux up to the top of the esophagus can then drop down into the lungs. You don't want to know all of the things that are in our stomach con- tents. Suffice to say that along with the acid are bacteria. If those bacteria get into the lungs, they can cause pneumonia (a lung infection). By reduc- ing stomach acid, PPIs make the stomach a friendlier home for bacte- ria. This increases the chance of pneumonia. However, this risk is very low. It's not high enough that you should stop PPIs if they are giving you good relief. PPIs may also increase the risk of infection with bacteria that can cause life-threatening cases of diarrhea and a serious colon condition. Normally stomach acids would kill these bacteria. But by making the stomach less acidic, PPIs open the door to infection. This risk, too, is very low. PPIs might also indi- rectly increase the risk of osteoporosis and frac- tures, because acid con- tributes to the absorption of calcium. And PPIs may lower your body's levels of vitamin B12, because acid also helps you absorb more of that vita- min. We have a lot more information on preventing and treating reflux in our Special Health Report, "The Sensitive Gut." You can find out more about it at my website. I understand your con- cern, but try to keep this in perspective. Fortunately, my symptoms of GERD are mild and I don't need PPIs. But if I did, and if they gave me great relief, I wouldn't stop them because of these possible small risks. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Suspect in soldier shooting was attacked LOS ANGELES (AP) — An attor- ney says the man jailed in the critical wounding of an Afghanistan war vet- eran at a California homecoming party was being attacked and was on the ground when the shooting took place. Attorney Michael J. Holmes said Tuesday he wants to talk to 19-year- old client Ruben Ray Jurado and the district attorney before commenting further. Jurado is in custody for investiga- tion of attempted murder in connec- tion with Friday's shooting at a San Bernardino party for 22-year-old Army soldier Christopher Sullivan. Sullivan survived a suicide bomb- ing attack in Afghanistan, received a Purple Heart and was healing at a U.S. base before coming home for the holidays. Police say Sullivan intervened in a fight between his younger brother and Jurado.