Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/497293
Hillary'sallinfor2016. Whoopee. She officially arrived Sunday — but not in the flesh. She announced her decision with a low-key tweet and a two- minute video featuring a di- verse lineup of adorable Dem- ocrat voters, a sappy message about being "a champion of ev- eryday Americans" and very lit- tle face-time for herself. Then, to prove she's still a grassroots Chicago girl at heart, the multimillionaire from Chap- paqua sneaked out of New York at 70 mph on one of the phoni- est "road trips" of all time. Chauffeured by Secret Ser- vice men in a three-van convoy bound for Iowa, she actually met a few regular "flyover peo- ple" at a gas station in Altoona and she made a sneaky pit stop in Ohio at a Chipotle. With her oversized shades and trusty aide Huma Abedin paying the bill, however, Hillary was spotted standing in line at the popular Mexican chain res- taurant. When the media swooped into the Chipotle a day later, they learned that Hillary and Huma had stiffed the kids be- hind the counter. Caught not leaving a tip for the working class is not a good PR move for a wealthy every- woman who says she'll fight for the struggling everyman. As Rush Limbaugh pointed out, that little socioeconomic gaffe revealed how badly out of touch Hillary is with the peo- ple she's counting on to vote her and Bill back into power. Which raises the big question: "Why 'Hillary for President' "? She's the Democrats' default presidential nominee, the Enti- tled One, but she's a lightweight on every scale. Quick. What does Hillary stand for? Has she ever had a deep thought or a good idea about policy — foreign or domestic? What has she done in her public life so far to make this country a better place? What is her great vision for America? And what are her great career accomplishments? Not many. She was basically handed a U.S. Senate seat. Big deal — a liberal Demo- crat carpetbagger wins in lib- eral New York. And then makes herself invisible for six years in the Senate. As secretary of state, her highlight reel includes Beng- hazi and a string of failures in Iraq, Afghanistan, Russia and China. Her biggest achievement as secretary of state was racking up a record number of frequent flyer miles. For her debut in Iowa this week Hillary was dodging tough questions from reporters and carefully speaking in polit- ical generalities, platitudes and soundbites. She was trying so hard to put some daylight between herself and President Obama that she almost sounded like my dad. She was promising to make the economy grow by cutting bad regulations and she men- tioned adding market-based re- forms to what's she thinks are the good parts of Obamacare. Maybe Ms. Authentic 2016 was trying out her Mag- gie Thatcher impersonation. (Believe me, I knew Maggie Thatcher and Hillary is no Mag- gie Thatcher.) Unfortunately for the coun- try, Hillary can't escape being Hillary. And if she's saying any- thing about the economy that makes sense, it's pure accident. Hillary can't compare to Marco Rubio and Rand Paul, the first of a gang of young, smart, accomplished conser- vative Republican presidential candidates who are not stuck in the 1990s. The announcement speeches by Rubio and Paul were great — full of vision and ideas about reform in Washington and calls for reasserting America's pros- perity at home and leadership abroad. Meanwhile, Hillary's really just running on a single issue — that she's a woman and it's time for America to have its first woman president. Over the next 19 months I think millions of everyday vot- ers are going to figure that out. Maybe the liberal media might too. MichaelReaganisthesonof President Ronald Reagan, a political consultant, and the author of "The New Reagan Revolution" (St. Martin's Press). He is the founder of the email service reagan.com and president of The Reagan Legacy Foundation. Visit his websites at www.reagan.com and www.michaelereagan. com. Send comments to Reagan@caglecartoons.com. Follow @reaganworld on Twitter. MichaelReagan Hillary for America? Why? Cartoonist's take Despite the pomp and circumstance of opening day ceremonies featuring our famous pitcher riding a horse around the infield and the hoisting of their third World Series flag, the first home games of the new season find the S.F. Gi- ants facing an uphill battle to regain their poise and promise. Fans would have preferred that the team found a way to bring home base runners. However, a season depends on the players staying healthy and it must be frustrating for the manager to see his best laid plans go awry when somebody pulls up lame, which begs the question, what are the trainers doing to earn their keep? Too many groin pulls and knee and hamstring injuries. As a sidebar to opening day, we look at the Dodgers roster and don't see the eccentric pony tailed and fully bearded Brian Wilson listed thereon. Giants fans view this with mixed emo- tions. He was our best closer at a time when we could overlook his appearance and boorish be- havior. But now he is persona non grata and fans must marvel at how quickly his flame has ap- parently been extinguished. ••• Organized religions alert Sources forecast that 35 years from now, the number of Mus- lims globally will nearly equal the number of Christians. The projected percentages of growth are 73% for Islam, 35% for Chris- tianity, 34% for Hinduism and 16% for Judaism. However, Bud- dhism will decline 0.3%. What do you make of that? With the restrictions of women's rights, justification of the suicide kill- ings of the innocent and the overall idiocy of the Islamic cul- ture, how can it not only sur- vive, but apparently flourish? However, I've taken my own poll and found that most people see a decline of organized reli- gions. But like all good pollster, I only poll those who I expect will be on my side. With that in mind, I received a letter from a reader out on Plymire Road who wrote that we are on the same page religiously and polit- ically. That's one giant step for mankind, to coin a phrase. ••• Sanity regained A group of California citi- zens has formed a new multi- county, non-partisan polit- ical action committee named "Keep It Califor- nia PAC." Sources say that concerned citizens from throughout rural California met in Red- ding and voted to form this new group. It was assembled to oppose those in favor of separation from California. "Our mission is to advocate for better rep- resentation of rural Califor- nia and oppose breaking away to form a new state," said Plu- mas County Supervisor Lori Simpson. She reports that her constituents are telling her to "get on with the work of the county and quit this non- sense." Right on. ••• A semi-retired pharmacist stopped by to discuss the cost of tea in China and other mat- ters. In his opinion, most of the woes of this generation are generated by the consumption of too much processed food and that many of the prescrip- tions he fills are designed to overcome this overindulgence. In leading "the good life" we may hasten our demise. Noth- ing new in this advice I guess, but I found it interesting that he often asks those who prof- fer prescriptions what other medication they are taking. His inquiry suggests that pa- tients overindulge in drugs as well as food. We often read of this in the celebrity obituar- ies but evidently it applies to common folk, as well. Even the elite. ••• Years ago we attended shows at the Paul Masson Winery in Saratoga for the best in jazz presentations — George Shear- ing, Mel Torme, Joe Williams and the like. The show is now called The Mountain Winery, and a recent list of artists con- tained but one name familiar to yours truly, the superb singer and pianist Diana Krall. All the other 11 performers are ei- ther unknown or of no inter- est to us. This generation gap is appalling, but perhaps time marches on to the beat of a dif- ferent drummer, to mix meta- phors. ••• A current issue of Time states, "Beer has its Budweiser, cigarettes have Marlboro and now Nevada and Massachu- setts are vying to create big- name brands for pot." And con- tinues, "When the legaliza- tion movement began years ago, its grassroots activists en- visioned a nation where mom and pop dispensaries would freely sell small amounts to cancer patients and cannabis- loving members of their com- munity. But the markets roll- ing out now are attracting something different: ambitious well-financed entrepreneurs." A Denver maker of pot products states, "I want to get that soc- cer mom, who, instead of pol- ishing off a glass of wine on Saturday night, goes for a 5-mg marijuana mint with less of a hangover and the same amount of relaxation." Considering that marijuana remains prohibited by federal law, this may seem premature, but medical weed is now legalized in some form in 23 states. This may be another gener- ational thing, but it does seem to this old cat that we are pos- sibly fostering a generation of zombies — and is a group of stoned preferable to a group of drunks? Tsk, tsk. ••• A big corporation, feeling it was time for a shake up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was de- termined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the fa- cilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of work- ers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here", walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said "Here's four weeks' pay. Now get out and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?" From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Dom- ino's." Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail. com. I say Injuries, power outage mean slow start for Giants For her debut in Iowa this week Hillary was dodging tough questions from reporters and carefully speaking in political generalities, platitudes and soundbites. 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