Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/492070
8 APRIL 8-14, 2015 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM Are you ready for a fusion of art, science and magic? Have I got a deal for you! Come learn about the Integratron. If you saw the original Time Machine Hot Tub movie, you were probably disappointed by its sequel, Time Machine Hot Tub II, which was awful. Kindly do not give up on time travel by immersion. Instead, hie thee out to the Mojave desert where you can take a sound bath at the Integratron. You will experience time travel, defy the laws of gravity and Ferguson, Missouri, and experience the power of the massive geomagnetic vortex upon which the Integratron proudly sits. Right now you are probably asking yourself, what is the Integratron? How can I, a mere mortal reader of Up & Coming experience time travel without having to sit in a Hot Tub Time Machine movie with three morons? Return with us now to Aug. 24, 1953, when George Van Tassel, an aeronautical engineer who had worked for Howard Hughes, was awakened one night by a visitor from outer space. George shook the sleep from his eyes and met Solangda, a 700-year-old native of the planet Venus. Solangda appeared in human form and revealed the secret of time travel and cell rejuvenation. George was advised to build the Integratron, which would harness gravity, extend life better than Cialis bath tubs and allow high-speed time travel across the universe. As we all know, high-speed time travel is so much better than the low-speed time travel, which we experience every day, particularly while sitting in a dental chair. George's story reminded me of the Byrd's late '60s hit song, "Mr. Spaceman," which was clearly inspired by Solangda's visit. Ponder these lyrics: "Woke up this morning with light in my eyes/And then realized it was still dark outside/It was a light coming down from the sky/I don't know who or why/Must be those strangers that come every night/Those saucer shaped lights put people uptight/Leaving blue-green footprints that glow in the dark/I hope they get home al right." George built the Integratron according to Solangda's specifications, which are based on Moses' Tabernacle. The Integratron looks like a white, two story Mongolian Yurt. It wandered lonely as a cloud out to the Mojave Desert near the Native Americans' sacred Giant Rock. The Giant Rock claims to be the world's largest free-standing rock. According to the Integratron website, George became a leader of the UFO movement after meeting Solangda. He hosted the annual UFO Conventions at Giant Rock for about 20 years and reported about 11,000 people attended the 1959 convention. George did not complete the fine tuning on the Integratron's ability to extend human life. He passed away in 1978 before he perfected the Integratron's eternal life Transmongrifier. The Integratron was purchased about 2001, by the Karl sisters: Joanne, Nancy and Patty. It had fallen upon hard times and was a fixer-upper time machine. The Karls restored it to its original beauty and function. It is open to the public. Reservations are required. For a fee you can enter the Integratron, go up to the second floor, lie on some mystical futons and enjoy a sound bath from quartz singing bowls, which will cure what ails you. The Integratron's website describes the Sound Chamber as "Kindergarten nap time for grown ups in a sound sphere." You can enjoy the repetitive droning of quartz crystal bowls which allows you to reach a deeper state of something or other. Joanne Karl, who plays the bowls, described herself to the New York Times as the "Queen of Catatonia." If catatonia without drugs or mental illness sounds like a good plan , the Integratron is your end times vacation destination. The Sound Chamber can seat 60 people or 40 people if they are lying down. Children under 12 and dogs are not allowed. Major credit cards are accepted. Stay on the paved road, your GPS may try to send you down a dirt road due to the strength of the vortex. Arrive alive. As the Byrds once sang, "Woke up this morning, I was feeling quite weird/Had flies in my beard, my toothpaste was smeared/Over my window, they'd written my name/Said, "So long, we'll see you again/Hey Mr. Spaceman/Won't you please take me along/I won't do anything wrong/ Hey, Mr. Spaceman/Won't you please take me along for a ride." See you at the Integratron. Time Machine Sound Bath by PITT DICKEY Joanne Karl calls herself the Queen of Catatonia. She plays quartz crystal bowls to help people reach a deep state of relaxation. PITT DICKEY, Columnist. COMMENTS? Editor@ upandcomingweekly.com. Creative, thought provoking 2D and 3D artwork by regional University/College faculty and their students March 27 - April 21, 2015 Opening Reception Friday, March 27 6pm-8pm Cape Fear Studios presents - Visit www.capefearstudios.com for more information SAVE THE DATE! SAVE THE DATE! Presents The 5th Annual ★ ★ ★ Saturday, April 11, 2015 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Cliffdale Recreation Center, 6404 Cliffdale Road Emcee, Carolyn Justice, NCGOP Vice-Chair Keynote Speakers Mr. Francis De Luca, President, NC Civitas USMC (Ret) Lt. Col. Bill Cowan, Fox News Military Analyst Elected Officials NC Senator, Wesley Meredith, NC House Representative, John Szoka Fayetteville Mayor, Nat Robertson and Judge Lou Olivera Fayetteville City Council Members Bobby Hurst, Jim Arp and others Political Cake Auction * Cash Raffle Pizza, Homemade Desserts and Drinks 2016 GOP Presidential Straw Poll $20 for adults, children 10 years and under are free! For tickets or more information, call 484-7957 or 824-4646 www.cumberlandcountyrepublicanwomensclub.org