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Wednesday, November 30, 2011 – Daily News Dear Annie: We are the grandparents of a beautiful 4-year-old girl. We have been watching her for the past three months because her par- ents had their water ser- vice shut off due to lack of payment. A month ago, they had their gas and electricity shut off, as well. They are living off of the welfare system with no other means of support. In the past, my wife and I have paid a lot of money to keep their utilities on, but this time we took a stand and decided not to. Instead, we opted to assist in taking care of their daughter until they can fix this situation, knowing it will probably happen again. We want our grand- daughter to have a shot at normalcy, and we feel she will never get that if we return her to her parents. Unfortunately, my wife and I lack both the finances to raise a child and the vitality necessary to keep up with her. We don't know what to do. If we decide to seek custody, how do we go about it? Is there financial aid available for people in our situation? We want to do the right thing for our granddaughter. — Geezer with a Cause in Los Ange- les Dear Los Angeles: Instead of seeking custody, you might want to apply for legal guardianship of your granddaughter or become her foster parents. Would the parents voluntarily allow this? That would be the easiest way to do it. Discuss your options with an attorney who specializes in family law. You can get referrals for low-cost legal assistance through LawHelp California — lawhelpca.org. Dear Raise Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Annie: We work in an office where the employees (mostly the female employees) bring treats — candy or homemade goodies — on a regular basis. This always has been a nice gesture and much appreci- ated. The problem is a new employee who doesn't seem to understand the concept of taking your share and no more. ''Vern'' is the first one at your desk if he notices candy. Then he keeps coming back over and over again, taking large quantities on each trip. Those treats are for everyone. Vern is really a nice man in so many ways, but we are about ready to discontinue bringing treats to the office because this is so frus- trating. One of the employees made special homemade treats for her boss on his birthday, and Vern stood at her desk to get his share before any- one else, and then returned for a second helping before others had their first. No one wants to hurt Vern's feelings, and he doesn't seem to get the hint when comments are made to others in his presence. Do you have any suggestions about how to handle this? We hate to see a nice tradi- tion ruined because the goodies can no longer be shared with everyone. — Didn't Take This Guy To Dear Didn't: Some- one needs to speak up. If Vern returns for seconds before others have had a turn, say, ''A lot of folks haven't had any treats yet, Vern, so no second helpings until everyone has had one.'' If he takes six cupcakes, stop him, saying, ''Sorry, Vern, only one per customer.'' Be nice, firm and consis- tent. We don't think it will take much to retrain the guy, so please give him a chance before you eliminate something that all of you obviously enjoy a great deal. Dear Annie: ''Show- erless in Sheboygan'' said her retired military husband refused to shower or get a haircut. You suggested he might be depressed. My husband is a psy- chologist with the Veter- ans Administration. V.A. services are available in most states for mental health issues or changes in health status. Please pass this along. — V.A. Supporter in Louisville, Ky. Dear Louisville: Thank you for reminding those readers who have served in the military that the V.A. (va.gov) can provide psychologi- cal as well as medical counsel. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net , or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. 3B Perpetual poverty perturbs parents Stay motivated to exercise DEAR DOCTOR K: Every few months I start a new exercise program with the best of inten- tions. But before I know it, I'm back on my couch. How can I stay motivated? DEAR READER: There are two ways to be motivated to exer- cise: to think about the good it will do for your future health, and to think of how good it will make you feel when you do it. Most of us are not very good at making sacrifices today in order to achieve a theoretical benefit in the future. I'm not, anyway. So when I started my regular exercise routine several decades ago, I prayed that I would feel great after exercise. I wasn't so sure at first, but after about two weeks, I really did start feeling more energetic and even happier. And people told me I looked better. My weight didn't change much in either direction. But after starting to exercise, the weight was more where it should be — in my muscles, not in my belly. For me and for most people, it's impor- tant to make exercise as routine as eating or sleeping. But, as we all know, that can be difficult. Here are some tips to help you stay on course: — Customize your exercise plan. Find activities that suit your interests, lifestyle, time constraints, budget and physical condition. Most important, find something you look forward to doing. — Write down a detailed schedule of your week. Look for blocks of time when you could exercise. Be realistic. Don't plan to exercise before work if you're not World AIDS Day in Chico will be observed on Thursday, Dec. 1, with the HIV/AIDS Awareness Fair in the morning and after- noon and a candlelight vigil and reception in the evening. Started in 1988, the worldwide observance aims to raise money and awareness, improve educa- tion and diminish preju- dice. The awareness fair will be held from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. in the Bell Memorial a morning person. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. — Set a long-term goal, but start with a shorter term one. For example, set a long-term goal of walking for 30 minutes five days a week. Start by walking just three days a week for at least 10 minutes. Gradually add an addi- tional day per week. Then steadily extend your walk by five minutes at a time until you reach your goal. — Once you've set your goal, record your performance. Write down what you did and for how long. If you see yourself backsliding, zero in on the problem and address it. We have a lot more information on staying motivated in our Special Health Report called "Exercise: A Program You Can Live With." You can find out more about it at my website. If you find yourself backsliding, try these tricks to rekindle your motivation: — Remember what you like most about exercise, such as feeling strong and healthy. — Give yourself a reward for success- fully resuming your program. — Line up walking partners for your next few outings. — If you feel bored by your routine, mix it up: brisk walks one day, using weights the next. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. World AIDS Day Awareness Fair and Vigil Union Mall Area, Califor- nia State University, Chico. The fair will include a vari- ety of booths, games and valuable information about community programs. The candlelight vigil and reception will be held 6-8 p.m. at Trinity United Methodist Church, 285 E. Fifth St. in Chico. There will be a raffle at the vigil and boxes for donations. All proceeds will go toward purchasing HIV test kits for free local testing. For more information go to csuchico.edu/diver- sity/documents/world- aids-day-2011.pdf or call 898-4764. World AIDS Day in Chico is sponsored by the CSU, Chico Office of Diversity and Inclusion, the Butte County Public Health Department, Caring Choic- es, the Stonewall Alliance Center, Congregational Church of Chico, Trinity United Methodist and Ampla Health. HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY $9900 Auto Upholstery Martin's Auto Upholstery 30 years in business Call for Holiday Specials Don't forget about your Convertable Tops, Headliners and Boat Covers "Quality is our main concern" Credit Card accepted 1930 Jefferson Avenue Red Bluff (530) 527-2929 Chuck Martin Construction Alns Construcin le to • Plumbing • Drywall Repairs • Fences • Decks • Concrete • Garages Quality at a reasonable price FREE ESTIMATES 530 949-6162 CA LIC#914460 Storage HOLIDAY SPECIAL 1/2 off 1 month rent for people who need extra storage during the Holiday Season. 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