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Saturday, November 26, 2011 – Daily News FEATURES Covert contribution cues conflict Capsaicin gets mixed results Dear Annie: My husband and I have a small online stock trading account. Several months ago, he mentioned that he was thinking of giving our son and daughter-in-law money to open their own stock account. I immedi- ately told him I was against it. I then left to go to the store and thought that was the end of it. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar When I arrived home, I found my husband signing a check for $25,000 to our daughter-in-law. We have no agreement that the money will be repaid or that we will be informed as to what happens to it. If I hadn't returned home when I did, I never even would have known about it. My husband doesn't think he did anything wrong. How am I sup- posed to trust or respect him when he does things like this? Am I justified to feel resentful and betrayed? — Floored Dear Floored: Your husband should not be making unilateral deci- sions that affect both of you. But by telling him ''no'' and assuming the matter was settled, you did the same thing. It sounds like this is not so much about the money as it is about who controls it. Giv- ing a large sum to anyone, including a child, requires the cooperation and agree- ment of all involved par- ties. You and your husband need to stop the power plays and talk about this calmly. Admit your own part in creating the prob- lem, and explain how hurt you were that he didn't take your feelings into account. We don't know if this money was a gift or a loan or how you want to han- dle it, but the dis- cussion should end with the agreement that neither of you will do this again without the consent of the other. Dear Annie: My wife and I have no children, so we try to reach out to the nieces and nephews on both sides of the family. We always make the effort to visit them when we are in their area, and for the most part, they reciprocate the love we extend. However, we are per- plexed about the total lack of social graces of one nephew's wife. To our knowledge, we have never given this young woman any reason to treat us in the manner she does. We dread future visits for fear one of us may be tempted to say something to her about her lack of civility. What do we do when she behaves like this again? — Confused in West Virginia Dear Confused: Talk to the nephew. Ask as sweetly as possible whether you have done something unintentionally offensive to his wife, because she seems to dis- like you. Ask how to make the relationship better. She simply may be socially inept and covering it with what appears to be rude- ness but is in reality shy- Nov. 18-Dec. 9 Abundant Life Fel- lowship, 21080 Luther Road Dec. 9-Jan. 6 Church of the Nazarene, 900 Johnson St. Jan. 6-27 First Christian Church, 926 Madison Ave. Jan. 27 - March 2 First Church of God, 1005 S. Jackson St. Dinners on Wednesdays- Feb. 1, 8, 15, 22, 29 at Sunrise Bible Fellowship, ness or discomfort. Give your nephew the opportu- nity to address it with his wife and work on it. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ''Daughter-in- Law in Distress,'' whose husband is verbally abused by his father and sisters. This woman needs to give her husband a great big hug! His father is a mean and calculating bully who enjoys watching others, including his own grand- children, squirm. When I was a child, I had adult relatives who found pleasure and power in making fun of us for everything from the pim- ples on our faces to whether or not we could hit a ball. Our parents taught us to be seen and not heard, so we did not respond to these thought- less, painful remarks. Nei- ther did our parents. I am now 58 years old and a strong individual. To this day, however, when there is a family gathering, I am so filled with anxiety that I have difficulty breathing. I love these peo- ple, but they have no idea at what cost. I commend this dad for protecting his children and putting them first. They are richly blessed. — Made it Through Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.ne t, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. PATH homeless shelter scheudule 956 Jackson St. March 2-16 United Methodist Church, 525 David Ave. March 16-APR 13 North Valley Bap- tist, 345 David Ave. Dinners on Wednesdays March 21, 28, April 4 and 11, Sunrise Bible Fel- lowship, 956 Jackson St. April 13-30 Presbyterian Church, 838 Jefferson St. Q: I have pain from osteoarthritis in both knees. I'm curious about creams made from a substance in hot peppers. How do they relieve pain? Are there other pain medica- tions that can be applied to my skin, so I don't have to take a pill? A: You're referring to capsaicin, the substance in chili peppers that gives them their hot taste. Capsaicin is an ingredient in many over-the- counter topical pain-relief prepara- tions, which include creams, gels, lotions, patches and sticks. When first applied, topical capsaicin causes a burning sensation. This sensation lessens within a few minutes, and it also gets less intense with repeated applications. Aside from the burning feeling, there are few, if any, side effects. Doctors don't know exactly how capsaicin works, but they think it stimulates the release of substance P, a chemical that helps relay pain sig- nals from sensory nerve fibers to the brain. After several applications of cap- saicin, the sub- stance P in that area is used up and levels go down. This caus- es the nerve fibers in that area to trans- mit fewer pain sig- nals. Studies compar- ing topical cap- saicin with a place- bo for arthritis pain have produced inconsistent results. Some studies have shown topical capsaicin to be more effective than a placebo, but other research has shown only a moderate to poor benefit. Capsaicin might be helpful when it's used along with other pain relievers, such as nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). It may also be useful for people who can't tolerate other pain-relief treat- ments. Capsaicin provides only temporary relief, so it must be applied four times a day. Before you use it on a large area, test it on a small patch of skin to make sure you're not allergic to any of the ingredients. Then apply enough to cover the painful area and rub it into your skin until it disappears. Finally, be sure to wash your hands thoroughly to avoid accidentally getting capsaicin into your eyes, nose or mouth. Don't apply capsaicin to broken or irri- tated skin, and don't use a heating pad on the area you're treating. It may be a week or so before you feel the full effect on your knee pain. If you don't notice any improvement after four weeks, stop using capsaicin. If you are interested in other topical medications to control your osteoarthritis pain, some options are available. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. A prescription NSAID, diclofenac, is available for topical use as a gel (Voltaren gel) and a patch (Flector Patch). Both carry some of the same risks as oral NSAIDs, but they are less likely to cause stomach and intestinal irritation because they don't enter the gastrointestinal tract. If you develop an upset stomach when taking an oral NSAID, consider trying one of the topical versions. Non-prescription ointments that contain methyl salicylate, menthol and cam- phor are among the other popular topical pain relievers. Whenever you apply a medication to your skin, it's important to avoid touching any of your mucous membranes (for example, around your mouth, nose or eyes) after applying the cream, to avoid irritation. While the notion of applying medi- cine right to the spot that hurts has obvi- ous appeal, there are some doubts about whether such reme- dies work. With something as sub- jective as pain, it can be hard to figure out whether a treatment is effective. For example, an ointment that provides a soothing sensation might be said to work by some definitions. And the placebo effect — a benefit that comes from the patient's expectations rather than the treatment itself — is a major complicating factor. On the other hand, there's no question that active medicine can penetrate the skin and get into the body; how much is absorbed is a separate question. And, at least in theory, exposing just the painful part of the body to a medicine might mean fewer side effects than taking a pill, which involves gastrointestinal absorption and the drug being carried in the blood throughout the entire body. Topical pain medication may provide temporary relief from arthritis pain. But you may get more durable relief from special exercises and weight loss. So if your goal is to reduce pain with a minimum of medica- tion, discuss all these options with your doc- tor or physical therapist. Real Estate GIPSON SENIOR PARK AREA. Well maintained 1,200 sf 2 bedroom, 2 bath manufactured home with a covered porch, carport and storage shed. 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