Up & Coming Weekly

NOVEMBER 25 - DECEMBER 1, 2009 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS The Mobile Savage At a recent dinner, the hostess's cousin rudely spent most of the evening thumbing through his BlackBerry. Upon returning home, I received an e-mail from an acquaintance: "How was dinner at Elaine's?" When I asked how he knew I was there, he said Elaine's cousin had Twittered my presence. (I'm known for my business accomplishments, but I'm a private person, and felt violated). Days later, I dined with an old business colleague, and got Twittered again. I came home to four forwarded e-mails he'd received from our former colleagues, one of whom invented from whole cloth an anecdote painting us as great friends. (He'd actually tried to get me fired.) Again, I felt my privacy had been violated. What are the rules here, for the Twitterer and their unwitting victim? —Publicized Suddenly, everybody's internationally famous. Not because they write like Cormac McCarthy, or they're co-starring with Robert De Niro, or they saved 30 people's lives, but because they posted a 30-second clip of their dog wearing sunglasses. We've come to the point where everyone — from assassins and terrorists to 8-year-olds — has in their pocket a level of telecommunications power that, just decades ago, would have taken up an entire wing at MIT. This is simultaneously thrilling and terrible. The average person now has the power to expose injustice, ruin lives, and upload video of you picking your nose in your car that's viewed around the world before you even have a chance to roll and flick. If you're a movie star, spare us the whine that you can't make tens of millions of dollars on a movie and also pick up a quart of milk without having 100 lenses trained on you to see whether you go for skim or 2 percent. But, as an ordinary (or relatively ordinary) citizen at a private dinner party, you do have the expectation of privacy. Sure, assume people might tell a friend or two something you said, but nobody has the right to release your whereabouts and dinner conversation to your friends, enemies, and five utter strangers who now get mobile broadband on their houseboat in Belarus. In general, people think (other!) people are ruder than ever, but as I explain in my new book, I SEE RUDE PEOPLE: One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society, rudeness is actually the human condition. People are, by nature, self- absorbed, they've always been self-absorbed, and these gizmos bring out the worst in them (they don't call it the iPhone for nothing). In the absence of social norms for device use and abuse, many people with these wireless binkies are essentially chimps with nukes. But, the root of manners is empathy — stepping away from yourself and your gadget and asking, "Wait...is there some tiny chance in hell this guy doesn't want his whereabouts published for an international audience?" Unfortunately, the thumb jockey at Elaine's dinner apparently leapt straight to "Hmmm, he seems important...if I tweet about him, I'll seem important!" (And then, it's back to his regular profundities like "late to yoga" and "I had the ham.") Just as we're forced to ask grown adults barking into cell phones to "please use your inside voice," we need to get proactive about our privacy. Because it's presumptuous to set policy for a party you aren't giving, you might tell future hosts about your experiences with these antisocial networkers — hinting at the need to announce a "what happens at dinner stays at dinner" media embargo. Guests will have to satisfy themselves with being rude in old- fashioned ways — hogging the mashed potatoes, passing gas and glaring at the person next to them, and rummaging through the host's medicine chest...but refraining from uploading a shot of its contents to Flickr Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Pleasurable social conditions may bring more contacts with others in far away plac- es. Great time to enjoy a holidayabroad. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 f your job is to make people, places or things look better, the social contacts you make over the next few weeks will prove benefi cial. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21 Your sign plays host to the Full Moon. This is a time to further matters that are important to you and to eliminate things that may be holding you back. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 A favorable time to promote your creative talents at workplace. New ways to use your abilities thru creative expression brings more joy for you and others. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 Social Venus moves into your "Fun" sector. Month ahead should be favorable for social acclaim and creative projects. Take advantage of new opportunities. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 Venus, planet of the arts moves into your Home sector. Expressing your creative abilities as a hobby or career endeavor is likely to bear fruit at this time. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Favorable period for those involved in the shipping or travel business. There is also the possibility of an attraction to someone in a far away place. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Channeling creative abilities into money making opportunities may be the way to add to your income. You are never too old to learn something new. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Love planet Venus moves into your sign. Relationships with a "signifi cant other" shows promise for pleasure. Concentrate on your social life. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 Abilities should come to the attention of bosses as the Full Moon moves thru your Work sector. You should be receiving recognition for your efforts AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Full Moon moves thru sector of romance and creativity. Changes for the better are part of your picture now. New contacts bring new opportunities. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 2F0 Venus, planet of creativity places you in the spotlight as it moves thru your Career sector. Three words that bring success. "Do It Now NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD For some consumers, good environmental citizenship is important even when choosing among sex accessories. No longer will they tolerate plastic personal vibrators made with the softeners called phthalates; or body lubricants that contain toxic chemicals typically found in, say, antifreeze; or leather restraints from slaughtered cattle. In an October issue, Time magazine described a market of organic lubricants, biodegradable whips and handcuffs, vegan condoms, and glass or mahogany vibrators (even hand-crankable models, eliminating the need for batteries). Some Catholic Church offi cials have also embraced the concept to further denounce chemical and latex birth controls, re-characterizing the traditional "rhythm" family planning as the back- to-nature detection of ovulation via body signals. [Time, 10-26-09] The Entrepreneurial Spirit The British retailer Debenhams announced in September that it would begin selling men's briefs whose opening is more accessible from the left side, for left-handers who have been forced for decades to manipulate a right-side opening. Previously, said a Debenhams executive, "(L)eft-handed men have to reach much further into their pants, performing a Z-shaped maneuver through two 180-degree angles before achieving the result that right-handed men perform with ease." [Reuters, 9-23-09] Troubling Products: Mattel is accepting pre-orders for the April 2010 release of the newest doll in the Barbie/ Ken line, the spiffi ly dressed Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken (apparently to be showcased with a much younger, trophy- type Barbie). [EntertainmentEarth.com, 10-28-09] Even more troubling (but so far only a prototype) is Alex Green's "Placenta Teddy Bear," exhibited in London in September and Newcastle, England, in October at the "(re)design" showcase of "sustainable toys" with children's themes. After the placenta is cured and dried, it is treated with an emulsifi er to render it pliable and cut into strips with which to stitch Teddy together, thus "unify(ing)" mother and baby. [Discover Magazine blogs, 10-1-09] CNN, reporting from the London Zoo in August, described the excitement surrounding news that the zoo would soon acquire a 12-year-old male gorilla from a preserve in France. Zoo offi cials were pleased, but its three older female gorillas were almost ecstatic. Shown posters of "Yeboah," the male, female "Zaire" "shrieked in delight"; "Effi e" wedged the poster into a tree and stared at it; and "Mjukuu" held the photo close to her chest, "then ate it." [CNN, 8-28-09] Surprise Your Deployed Loved One With A Holiday GreeŸng! Fort Bragg Federal Credit Union is inviŸng the military and their families to webcast special holiday messages to family members back home or to deployed loved ones during OperaŸon Best Wishes. FREE Webcast Recording Session Thursday, December 10, 2009 11:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Fort Bragg FCU's Hefner Plaza Branch (across from the South Post PX/Commissary on Fort Bragg) 910.864.2232 or 800.793.2328 Sign Up Today! Learn more & register for your 10 minute recording session at www.operaŸonbestwishes.com Operation Best Wishes is offered free to families by America's credit unions through the Defense Credit Union Council and WesCorp Federal Credit Union.

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