Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/468256
FEB. 25 - MARCH 3, 2015 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS The Wicked Witch of the Westin There's a girl who works at the hotel where my co-workers and I go for drinks. She's hot and smart and fun, and I really like her and want to ask her out. The problem is that when she laughs, she cackles in this really annoying way. I'm wondering whether, if we started dating and hit it off, I could subtly hint to her that she should change her weird, witchy laugh. Because, honestly, she's perfect otherwise. – Bothered I know, the "expected" reply to a man wanting a woman to change something about herself is, "How dare you, you shallow pig?!" But it does seem a shame to nix a woman you really like right off the bat simply because it's hard to tell whether she's laughing or you're around the corner from a donkey engaged in erotic asphyxiation. It's possible that her laugh really is her laugh, "designed" by the shape and location of her larynx. HowStuffWorks founder Marshall Brain explains that when we're laughing, the larynx gets half-closed by the epiglottis. (Laughter, most charmingly, is the sound of a person struggling for air, which we each do in our own special way.) But the reality is, some people with disturbing laughs have created them, often out of a desire to seem unique or get attention. They repeat their fabricated ha-ha, and it becomes part of them. And then time passes, and they forget to check whether their creation is still serving them or whether it might be to potential dates what garlic and crosses are to working vampires. Obviously, a woman is likely to be to hurt and offended if you announce, "If we're going to have any future together, you'll need a laughectomy." However, IF you started dating her and IF you saw that she's one of those (rare) people who "would rather know," you could ask her about her laugh: "Have you always laughed that way?" But brace yourself for her to come back with something like "Do you hate my laugh?" At this point, like a rat on flotsam after a shipwreck, all you can do is grab for a piece of flattery: "Uh, um…it's just that you're so elegant. It doesn't seem to go with the rest of you." But first things first. You haven't even asked her out. She might say no (laughing raucously and scaring away crows). Or, if she said yes, things might fizzle after a date or two. So maybe go out with her a few times, taking it slowly (no sex, tickling, or comedy club visits), and weigh whether her general fabulousness is enough to offset the intermittent cackly audio. Who knows … maybe you'll fall for her to the point where her laugh becomes endearingly awful — always making you long to grab her and kiss her in the back seat of her broomstick. AMY ALKON copyright 2015 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD It turns out that a person having a heart attack is usually safer to be in an ambulance headed to a hospital than to already be a patient in a hospital, according to a study by University of North Carolina researchers. It takes longer, on average, for non-ER hospital staff to comply with hospital protocols in ordering and evaluating tests (nearly three hours, according to the study) than it does for ER (and ambulance) staff, who treat every case of cardiac symptoms as life-threatening. Overall, according to a February Wall Street Journal report, the study found the mortality rate for heart- attack victims treated in emergency rooms is 4 percent, compared to 40 percent for patients already admitted for other reasons and then suffering heart attacks. [Wall Street Journal, 2-3-2015] The Continuing Crisis Uh-Oh: The man hospitalized in fair condition in January after being rammed from behind by a car while on his bicycle happened to be Darryl Isaacs, 50, one of the most ubiquitously advertising personal-injury lawyers in Louisville, Kentucky. Isaacs calls himself the "Heavy Hitter" and the "Kentucky Hammer" for his aggressiveness on behalf of, among other clients, victims of traffic collisions. The (soon-to-be-poorer) driver told police the sun got in his eyes. [Associated Press via WKYT-TV (Lexington), 1-27-2015] Elephants in Love: (1) India TV reported in January that a wild male elephant from an adjoining sanctuary had broken into the Nandan Kanan zoo in Odisha, wildly besotted with a female, Heera. The male cast aside two other females trying to protect Heera and mated with her. The male lingered overnight until zookeepers could shoo him away. (2) A frisky male elephant crushed four cars in 10 days in January at Thailand's Khao Yai National Park — the result, said a park veterinarian, of the stress of the mating season. (Only the last of the four cars was occupied, but no injuries were serious.) [India TV News, 1-1-2015] [The Nation (Bangkok) via 9News (Sydney), 1-12-2015] While nearly all Americans enjoy low gasoline prices, residents of sea-locked Alaskan towns (Barrow, Kotzebue, Nome, Ketchikan) have continued to pay their same hefty prices ($7 a gallon, according to one January report on Alaska Dispatch News). Though the price in Anchorage and Fairbanks resembles that in the rest of America, unconnected towns can be supplied only during a four-month breather from icy sea conditions and thus received their final winter shipments last summer. The price the supplier was forced to pay then dictates pump prices until around May or June. [Alaska Dispatch News, 1-2-2015] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Your fears are the only things holding you back this week, Aries. Confidence is all you need to move forward, so take some initiative and you will be glad you did. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 You cannot outmaneuver karma, Taurus. You will reap what you sow this week, so remain positive and things will ultimately work out in your favor. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, do your best to prevent distractions from getting to you or affecting your performance at work. You can overcome these distractions if you just stay focused. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Certain responsibilities require all of your attention this week, Cancer. Set aside some time to tackle these tasks one at a time, and you will be done before you know it. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Circumstances may shift without warning, Leo. It pays to have a backup plan available so you can make any necessary adjustments. Think on your feet. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, you may be emotionally invested in a cause or a belief, but you cannot expect everyone to share your passion. Give others room to form their own opinions. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Your ambition takes you on a few adventures this week, Libra. Keep an open mind, and these excursions will prove all the more valuable down the road. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 This week may mark a turning point in your love life, Scorpio. Enjoy taking this next step and make the most of all of the new experiences you share together in the days to come. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Take charge of your goals this week, Sagittarius. Many of your goals are worthwhile endeavors that can be achieved through a combination of commitment and hard work. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, plan an excursion or a get-together with friends before boredom sets in. This will give everyone a chance to reconnect and engage in some lighthearted fun. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, it will be very easy to get pulled off course this week. All you have to do is daydream for a while and time will fly. Make a to-do list so you can maintain your focus. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Stay put for a while, Pisces. Now is not a good time to make changes. Stick with what has been working for the time being. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard