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Thursday, November 3, 2011 – Daily News FEATURES Mother's malicious manners madden mom Dear Annie: I am a stepmom to two wonderful little boys under the age of 4. I treat them the same as my own children. The prob- lem is their mother. ''Carla'' acts as if I am the wicked witch. I know it is hard to let another woman care for your children. I have assured her numerous times that I am not out to take her place. She is their mother and always will be. Two years ago, the chil- dren were removed from her home due to anger issues and drug abuse. She had some counseling and now shares joint custody with their father. But if I happen to run into Carla when she is with the boys, she causes a huge scene, yelling and cussing at me if the boys say hello. She has sent me awful text mes- sages and threatening Facebook posts. I always try to be the bigger person and ignore her, but it's hard. I have had to call the police numer- ous times when I felt she was a dan- ger to my children or me. My husband tries to keep the peace because no one knows what Carla is capable of. I feel she is unstable. The youngest son has minor surgery scheduled, and Carla told my husband I better not show up at the hospital. As a stepmom, what am I to do? — Not-So-Wicked Stepmother Dear Stepmom: It doesn't sound as if Carla's counseling was sufficient to overcome her anger Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar issues. She is a loose cannon and could be dangerous. Please keep records of her threatening texts and posts in case your husband choos- es to fight the custody arrangement. We understand that he fears rocking the boat, and there is no simple solution. Sometimes the best thing is just to stay out of the way and be as non-con- frontational as possible. That includes not going to the hospital. Have your hus- band convey your good wishes to your stepson. Also try the National Stepfamily Resource Center (step- families.info) for a support group in your area. Dear Annie: I was adopted as an infant. I am now in my early 20s and am interested in contacting my birth family. I know my birth moth- er's name from a letter she wrote me, in which she asked me to con- tact her if I ever wanted to. It wasn't hard to find her or her family. I even found the Facebook pages of my older half-siblings, who know about me. By perusing those pages, I learned my birth mother died 10 years ago. I want to make contact with my biological family, but I don't know if they shared my moth- er's wish to meet me. I don't want to cause them any pain, and I don't want to overstep any boundaries. Doing this through Facebook seems tacky, and the only address I have is for my bio mother's sister. Isn't it more appropriate to contact my grandmother first? How should I proceed? — Adopted Child Dear Adopted: You are over- thinking this. Send a letter to your bio mother's sister. Tell her about yourself and that you'd like to establish contact. Say you want to get to know your grandmother and half-siblings, but do not wish to intrude. If you do not hear anything back within a month, it is OK to contact your half-siblings via Face- book. If there is still no response, it means they are not interested. Dear Annie: This is for ''Stressed Out by Picky Eaters,'' whose family makes holidays more difficult with their various dietary demands. Why not have them cook with her in her kitchen? This way, they can each prepare a side dish they know they will love and share it with their family. Instead of being resentful, they will create many memories along with all the great food. — Sunday Dinner Fanatic in Clive, Iowa Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Pumpkin decorating contest a hit Inadequate cells on Pap test no cause for alarm DEAR DOC- TOR K: I'm 48 years old. Twenty- six years ago, I had a cone biopsy after an abnormal Pap test. Since then, all my Pap tests have been normal. But recently my doctor says that scar tis- sue from my biop- sy has made it difficult to get adequate cells. What do I do about Pap smears now? DEAR READER: A Pap test is done to catch a cancer of the cervix that is just beginning to start — and can be cured before it causes damage. Every type of cancer begins with a single cell. The cell starts to multiply uncon- trollably. As it starts to do that, the cell changes its shape. Under the micro- scope, you can tell the precancerous and cancer- ous cells. In a Pap test, the doctor scrapes cells from the sur- face of the uterus. Then the cells are examined under the microscope. A report of "inadequate cells" can mean a couple of things. One possibility is that there weren't enough total cells in the sample to interpret the Pap. Or it could mean that the sample does not have enough of the cells that line the channel leading to the inside of the uterus. These are called endocer- vical cells. Many doctors believe that a sample without enough endocer- vical cells is not as accu- rate: The Pap test could appear "normal" even in a woman with cancer. A cone biopsy, like you had, can cause scarring of the endocervical canal. This can make it difficult to obtain endocervical cells for testing. The hor- monal changes that occur with entering menopause also can reduce the num- ber of endocervical cells. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. You are 48, an age at which many women begin to enter menopause. If you were my patient, and your report said you did not have enough total cells, I would simply repeat the test in a few months. On the other hand, if your report said you didn't have enough endocervical cells, specifically, I would take extra steps to get an adequate sample. As a first step, I might prescribe vaginal estro- gen. This would help make your endocervical cells more available. Your Pap test would be repeated in a few months. If this failed, your cervix could be dilated to retrieve the cells. But this is uncomfortable and may be unnecessary if your cervical cancer risk is low. These days, when doc- tors take samples for a Pap smear, we also often do tests for a virus that is now recognized to be a cause of cervical cancer — human papilloma virus (HPV). People who have certain strains of HPV are at higher risk for getting cervical cancer. A Pap test can identify HPV even if the number of endocervi- cal cells retrieved is inade- quate. I'd recommend that your clinician check for HPV. If the test is negative and you don't have other risk factors for cervical cancer, you can have rou- tine Pap tests. As long as the cells aren't atypical, you don't need to worry about inadequate endocer- vical cells. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. 3B to complete the study! (However every completed survey received while the Hurry! Less than 15 surveys needed survey is live will be eligible for the prize drawing! Coutesy photos On Saturday Oct. 22, Hoyt-Cole Chapel of the Flowers and Hawes Farms in Anderson hosted a Pumpkin Decorating Contest, at our Funeral Home, for the kids in Red Bluff. There was a wonder- ful turn out of 40 kids who decorated their pumpkins in extraor- dinary ways. Over- all, Hoyt-Cole was able to give every child who decorated a pumpkin a certifi- cate to Hawes Farms and the top 16 win- ners were given a trophy. Thank you to everyone who made the first contest a success. A special thanks to Hawes Farms for the pump- kins and certificates to visit their farm and our judges, Sheriff Dave Hen- cratt, Mayor Bob Car- rel and manager Clayton Draggoo.We look forward to doing this k-8th event next year. Win WinWin Win You could $100* Just for sharing your local shopping and media preferences! www.pulseresearch.com/redbluffdailynews Take the Pulse Research survey online only at: *$100 gift certificates will be awarded to four individuals selected at random from among those completing the survey. Those selected may choose any store or business in Tehama County at which to redeem their gift certificate. Individual survey responses will not be shared with any third party. D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY