Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/464509
FEBRUARY 18-24, 2015 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Beak Experience I recently started dating this new girl. I asked her whether her lips and boobs are real (and it turns out they are). However, I did call her out on having a nose job. She admitted it but seemed kind of upset. It's the truth. And she's beautiful, however she got that way. What's the problem? — Just Curious At least you didn't hold her up to the light like a hundred-dollar bill to look for the hologram. The fact that you have a thought is not reason enough to let it out to roam the streets, exposing itself to the ladies. As I write in Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck, at the root of manners is empathy. So before speaking to someone — especially someone you're dating — ask yourself, "Gee, wonder whether she'll feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I point to her boobs and ask, 'Yours or cubic zirconia?'" The reality is, people often spin the truth to present themselves in a better light, just as businesses do. (Your cable company does not really "value your time," and unless you're a wino, I'm pretty sure Miller High Life is not "the Champagne of beers.") However, evolutionary psychology research by William Tooke and Lori Camire finds that men and women tend to fudge their presentation in different ways. Because women evolved to prioritize men with the ability to "provide," men are far more likely than women to be deceptive about their finances. (You sure don't see women doing as a male friend of mine did. He lived in a dumpy apartment and drove an old Nissan that looked like it got used for soccer practice by Godzilla and Mothra, but he had me take a photo of him for his online dating profile in a beautiful neighborhood — in front of some stranger's Porsche.) On the flip side, because men evolved to prioritize physical attractiveness in women (with the features men find beautiful reflecting health and fertility), women are most likely to be deceptive about their looks (those factory installed by the assembly line boss known as Mother Nature). That's why women are extremely sensitive about a man parsing their appearance — as men are when a woman sizes up their finances and position. So, for the future, keep in mind that there's a reason the term is "beauty secrets" and not "beauty announcements." To reset the balance — so she isn't insecure about your feelings regarding her appearance — get in the habit of saying something nice about what she's wearing and if she looks particularly sparkly some night. And do try to maintain perspective on the level of transformation here. She was merely born with a different nose; she wasn't born "Alan" or "Bruce." WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD A miles-long traffic jam on Interstate 20 near Tuscaloosa, Alabama, on Jan. 25 and on into the next morning was caused by an 18-wheeler that jackknifed and overturned when the 57-year-old driver took his hands off the wheel to pull out a tooth with his fingers. Efforts to haul the truck from the roadside required an hours-long detour of traffic off of the interstate. (The driver's mission was successful; he had the tooth in his pocket when rescued.) [AL.com, 1-30- 2015] Unclear on the Concept Luis Moreno Jr., 26, was pursued by police in Fort Lee, New Jersey, after he entered the carpool lane approaching the George Washington Bridge in January because he appeared to be alone in his SUV. After ignoring several signals to pull over, he finally stopped and, when informed of his offense, told the officer, "I have two passengers in the back" and rolled down a window to show them (in the vehicle's third row), apparently satisfying the officer. However, as Moreno pulled away, one passenger began screaming and banging on the back door. Moreno sped off with his hostages, but was subsequently stopped again and charged with kidnapping and criminal restraint (but no HOV violation!). [New York Daily News, 1-25-2015] Mike Montemayor, until recently a county commissioner in Laredo, Texas, pleaded guilty to bribery charges in June and had argued in January 2015 that he should get a light sentence because, after all, he had subsequently helped FBI agents in a sting against three other officials accused of bribery. However, the prosecutor immediately countered that Montemayor had in fact tried to steal the recording devices and Apple computer the FBI had furnished him to do the undercover work. (He got six years in prison and a $109,000 fine.) [Laredo Morning Times, 1-27-2015] Compelling Explanations Lame: (1) Briton Roberto Collins, 51, was sentenced to 13 months in jail by Manchester Crown Court in January after being caught standing on a ladies' room toilet and peering into the next stall. He told police he stood up only to better scratch an itch and was in the ladies' room only because, wearing faulty glasses, he thought it was the men's room. (2) Scotsman Dean Gilmartin, 25, actually persuaded a judge at Perth Sheriff Court in January of his "innocence" — that he might not have been masturbating at the front window of his home. He admitted he was nude (changing clothes), but pointed out that he plays musical instruments and was probably just picking out tunes on his ukulele (rather than "holding" his genitals and moving "side to side," as a neighbor had charged). [Manchester Evening News, 1-26-2015] [STV (Glasgow), 1-13-2015] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, expect to scramble at the last minute when you have to get something finished. It may elevate your blood pressure, but you'll feel good when the task is completed. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 You have to take a stand on a highly contested matter, Taurus. There's no way to avoid the situation, so it's best if you just meet it head on. Others will appreciate your direct approach. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, say goodbye to a bad situation, as a better one is on the horizon. It is about time you make things work in your favor and enjoy some R&R. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you have grown in many ways and people are trying to get used to your new persona. They see you as a new person, and that will require an adjustment period. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, paying off a large debt may empty out your bank account, but you have to look at the benefits of the situation. No more interest payments mean more savings. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, expect to be caught off guard this week. Allow everything to run its course, and things will be back to normal before you know it. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, be resourceful and economical this week. Frivolous spending will only leave you with a hole in your pocket and not much to show for it. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 This could be a time of profound changes in an important relationship, Scorpio. If you keep an open mind, there is no limit to the benefits that await. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, after a few bumpy spells, you may be on the road to a financial recovery. Monitor your spending and continue to maintain your financial discipline. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Real estate values have been rebounding, Capricorn. If you are in the market to sell your home, now may be your chance to do so, but make sure you accept a good offer. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Your responsibilities are at an all-time high, Aquarius. If you speak up, plenty of people will be willing to lend a hand. You just have to accept their offers to help. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, start visualizing positive outcomes and you can produce winning results. A negative attitude will only prevent success. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard IN THE MORNING Weekdays 5:30AM to 10:00AM