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Monday, October 31, 2011 – Daily News Friend fears foreign fashions Warm compress helps eyelid cysts Dear Annie: We live in a large townhouse com- plex with people from many differ- ent backgrounds. For some time, several of the res- idents have been talking about a young boy who lives here. The mother, whose husband openly disparages her report this, anony- mously, to your local child welfare authorities and ask them to investi- gate. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar (and has little respect for women in general), told me her son is routinely exposed to pornography. She said her husband's father took him to a pros- titute when he was 12 years old. The husband, apparently, is planning to do the same with his son next year. This family is from a foreign country and another culture. I suggest- ed the mother talk to a counselor. She told me she is too afraid of her husband finding out. I then suggested a social worker and, finally, an attorney. Instead, she wants me to talk to her husband. I told her I am not willing to get involved in a losing battle. However, I feel increasingly concerned about the welfare of this child. Could you give me some guidance? — Unwilling To Watch the Titanic Hit an Iceberg Dear Unwilling: Most states have laws on the books that prohibit dis- seminating obscene mate- rial to a child. However, since you have not actual- ly witnessed it and the mother seems reluctant to corroborate, you are in a gray area. We suggest you Dear Annie: I am a 19-year-old college student and a cashier at a restaurant on weekends. I like my job and my bosses, and my ''regulars'' are extremely nice and easy to deal with. But now I dread coming to work. One customer comes in every time I'm there, and I cannot stand her. She complains constantly and always has something nasty to say about the other customers. Now I find that she is saying neg- ative things about me, as well. I've tried to ignore her, but it's not working. I know I can't tell her off, but I've had it with her gossip. I was taught that I should stick up for myself and those who are good to me, and I really want to, but I don't know how to say it. I actually tried defending someone she insulted, but she wouldn't back down and gave me a dirty look. How do I han- dle this? — Optimist Sick of a Pessimist Dear Optimist: When you are working, you rep- resent your employers and must treat the customers with respect even when they don't deserve it. It might help to understand that this woman has a bit- ter, sour personality and undoubtedly treats every- one this way. It is your job to ignore her nasty gossip and remain unfailingly polite. If that is not possi- ble, find out whether you can switch your working hours so you are not pre- sent when she is likely to appear. FEATURES DEAR DR. K: I have small Dear Annie: ''Green Eyed'' said her husband is tired after working as a long-distance truck driver and they haven't had sex in two years. A few years ago, my husband informed me that he had no sex drive. I didn't understand this because we've been married 30 years and are very close. There was no question of an affair. About six months ago, I read that sleep apnea could cause a loss of sexual desire in men. I urged him to get tested. It turned out he does have sleep apnea and now uses a CPAP. His sleep has improved, and he has his sex drive back. — Happy Wife Dear Happy: Sleep apnea can cause all sorts of problems. Thank you for mentioning the possi- bility. Dear Readers: Happy Halloween. Please dress your trick-or-treaters in flame-retardant costumes that don't obstruct walk- ing or vision, and be sure to accompany them. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. white bumps on my eyelids that drive me crazy. They don't hurt, but they look awful. A doctor told me they are meibo- mian cysts. He said they are harmless, but if I want to get rid of them, I'll need surgery. What do you think? DEAR READER: These lit- 3B tle cysts are harmless in one respect: They are not a form of cancer. But I wouldn't call them harmless if they bother you every time you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. First, let's be sure that you actually have meibomian cysts. Since I can't look at your eyelids, I'm not sure if your bumps are large or small. Nor do I know exactly where they appear on your eyelids. Just as in real estate, location counts. Meibomian cysts are small, fluid- filled sacs that can develop along the edge of an eyelid. They take their name from the meibomian glands, which produce a mixture of oil and mucus to keep your skin and hair, including eyelashes, from drying out. The fluid is released through tiny openings called ducts peppered along the edge of the eyelid, just behind the eyelashes. When a duct gets blocked, fluid backs up into the gland. This prompts inflammation and produces a cyst that grows toward the inner surface of the eyelid. The cyst is small and white, as you describe. Often, meibomian cysts disappear without any treatment at all. Failing this, I recommend putting a warm compress on the area. Apply it for 10 to 20 minutes, three to four times a day. This gentle treatment encourages Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. the cyst to drain and heal. If a cyst becomes infected, I gener- ally prescribe an antibacterial ointment. Sometimes a cyst won't respond to compresses or becomes very large. At this point, surgery may be needed. Ask your doctor to refer you to an eye specialist who special- izes in eyelid surgery and can drain or remove the cyst. There are other types of lit- tle bumps on the eyelids that require different treatments. Another possibility is that you have milia. Milia are tiny, white dome- shaped bumps. They form on the skin of the eyelid or around the eye. Milia are much smaller than meibomian cysts — about the size of pinheads. They may not look good, but they don't hurt and don't interfere with vision. Finally, although it is rare, some types of skin cancer can start on the eyelids. Here are my "red flag" signs for eyelid bumps. If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, get checked out by a dermatologist or ophthalmol- ogist experienced in handling eyelid conditions: Are the bumps red and painful? Are they growing larger? Do they have a brown or black color? If your eyelid bumps bother you, or if they show any of my red-flag warn- ing signs, get them checked out. While your bothersome bumps may not dis- appear in a blink, the right doctor should be able to help. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Social Security holiday closure On Friday, Nov. 25, all Social Security field offices, including the Redding office, will be closed to the public. Employees who work the day after Thanksgiv- ing will focus on back- log reduction. Members of the pub- lic can find many ser- vices and get up-to-date information online at www.socialsecurity.gov or by calling 1-800-772- 1213 (TTY 1-800-325- 0778). 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