Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/46001
Saturday, October 29, 2011 – Daily News FEATURES Stubborn spouse solicits snippy statements Financial empowerment Dear Annie: I have been married to ''George'' for more than 20 years. For most of this time, there has been tension (to put it mildly) between my hus- band and my mother. He rubs her the wrong way, she snipes at him, and he snipes back. I've had sev- eral conversations with them over the years, asking them to be more tolerant of each other, if only for my sake. That works for a while, but eventually, they return to their old ways. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar What is bizarre is that my moth- er is normally a lovely, compas- sionate, considerate and caring person. She is a totally different person with George. I admit that my husband can be strong-willed and obstinate at times, but he has never deserved the treatment my mother gives him. I try to see Mom separately in order to avoid the drama of their interactions, but there are certain family events and holidays when I would prefer not to choose between them. And it never fails that if I convince George to attend a family function, something is said that starts the sniping again. Short of giving them joint coun- seling sessions for Christmas, what can I do? — Caught in the Middle and Hate It Dear Caught: Your mother may be jealous of your husband. This occasionally can happen with some parents when a child marries, and if you call it to her attention, she will consider the possibility. But it's just as likely that your hus- band's personality simply irritates her to no end. You cannot control how other people behave or whether they like each other. You can ignore them, see them separately or remove your- self when the sniping becomes too annoying. We recommend a combination of the three, as needed. Dear Annie: I am a 17-year-old male and a senior in high school. Lately, I've been feeling more depressed than usual. At first, I thought it was the stress of starting school again, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I did a little research online, and I do have some signs that I might be clinically depressed. I do not know what to do. Should I just ignore it? I mean, I've had it for a while already, and I don't have any thoughts of suicide or harming myself. I do not want to tell my parents. They don't need any more stress, and I'm pretty sure my dad would just tell me to ''suck it up.'' Please help. — Stressed Out Dear Stressed: Your parents should know about your depres- sion, but if you cannot talk to them about it, please discuss it with your school counselor, a favorite teacher or one of your friend's parents. If you have a checkup scheduled, talk to your doctor. It is normal to feel down in the dumps occasionally, especially when there are external reasons. But if the feeling persists, it may require some type of inter- vention. Please don't wait until you are too stressed to cope. Dear Annie: Although my hus- band and I are only in our early 60s, we, too, feel the pain of being ignored by our adult children and can identify all too well with ''Glendora, Calif.'' We understand their busy sched- ules, but they never call just to say hello or ask how we are. We have rare opportunities to see them — annual birthday parties for the grandchildren and weekend sport- ing events during the school years. The sad thing is that we have done nothing to deserve this. We were always attentive to our sons and fail to see why we get this shameful treatment. I never ignored my parents, who both passed away last year. I always greeted them with a hug and a kiss, as well as an inquiry as to their well-being. Years ago, our son said that the worst thing in life is regret. He may find that out for himself someday. — California Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Can I prevent kidney stones? Alternatives to Violence, 717 Pine St., will be holding financial empowerment classes starting with the first 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. today. Moving Ahead Through Financial Management cur- riculum can help, whether a survivor of domestic vio- lence is struggling to eat, find a safe place to live, hold a job, achieve academic goals, support children, seek asylum from cruelty or overcome identity theft. Domestic violence sur- vivors deserve access to housing, jobs and economic resources for their families, whether they leave abusive relationships or stay. Every strategy and story within this curriculum is designated to help survivors navigate the complex chal- lenges they encounter. It explores the possible choic- es and identifies community resources to help build financially independent lives. The Moving Ahead Through Financial Manage- ment curriculum offers a range of information from basic money and financial management principals to advanced financial panning. For more information call 528-0226 or e-mail jmichael@atvrb.org or visit www.alternatives2vio- lence.org. ATV is a non-profit orga- nization that helps domestic violence victims. It has a 24-hour hotline available: 1- 800-324-6473. Court Round-Up The following defendants were sentenced in Tehama County Superior Court, according to the Tehama County District Attorney's Office: —————— Recent State Prison Commitments • Gene Charles Moffett was sentenced to four years in state prison for assault with a deadly weapon. Deputies responded to a location where they contacted the victim who had reportedly been stabbed. Upon investi- gating this incident the deputies learned the victim had been at a woman's residence where he attempted to make a pass at her. The woman refused at which point the victim became angry and left the residence. The woman and defendant then got inside their vehicle and proceeded to follow the victim so they could confront him. Both vehicles eventually came to a stop on the side of the road where a physical altercation occurred. During this altercation the defendant grabbed a knife and attacked the victim before fleeing the area. The victim ended up with several cuts to his face. • Adrian Diaz Silva and Abel Torres Galvan was sen- tenced to two years in state prison each for cultivation of marijuana. Brief history: Deputies and agents from the U.S. Forest Service raided a marijuana cultivation site in the Trinity National Forest. As they arrived at the site they located the two defendants as well as thousands of marijuana plants. Sentenced to 2 years State Prison. Recent County Jail Commitments • Christopher Castillo was sentenced to 60 days in Tehama County Jail for possession of marijuana for sale. Castillo was originally granted formal probation. Defen- dant violated his probation when he failed to keep in contact with probation. Q: I'm a 30-year-old man. Like many of my friends, I've gained weight since college. I read that being overweight can lead to kidney stones. A friend who just had kidney stones told me that passing them was incredibly painful. I'd like to lose weight, but until I succeed, is there anything I can do to pre- vent kidney stones? Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. A: When it comes to illnesses, there are worse things than kidney stones. But when it comes to pain, the passing of a stone is near the top of the list. Kidney stones are excruciatingly painful when they travel through the ureters, the tubes that connect the kidneys to the bladder. As you may know, kidney stones are hard, chemical and mineral deposits that form inside the kidneys. Tiny stones may pass out of the body in urine without causing any discomfort. In fact, about nine out of 10 kidney stones will pass on their own within three to six weeks after forming. However, a deposit can grow to be the size of a pea, a marble or even larger. These large stones may irritate the narrow ureter, causing pain and bleeding. Stones greater than one-fifth of an inch may have difficulty passing through the narrow ureter. Even worse, a stone may become lodged in the ureter, blocking the passage of urine and threatening to damage the kidney itself. The number of Americans suf- fering from kidney stones is increasing, perhaps because of the increasing prevalence of obesity. In general, stones strike men twice as often as women. A Harvard study of nearly 46,000 men (ages 40 to 75) found that high body mass indexes and large waist circumfer- ences are both linked to an increased risk of kidney stones. And research from Europe and Asia shows that overweight people dump excess amounts of calcium and other chemi- cals into their urine, where the chemicals form stones. Each year about a mil- lion Americans undergo treatment for kidney stones. One option is lithotripsy, a treatment that uses a series of ultrasonic shock waves to break up large stones into smaller ones that can be passed out of the body when you urinate. But your focus on prevention is a good one because once you get kidney stones, the chance of get- ting them again is high. Much of the prevention advice is aimed at fending off a recurrence, but it may also help you to avoid kidney stones in the first place. Here are a few pointers: — Keep your fluid intake up. Kidney stones form when certain chemicals and minerals concen- trate in the urine and form crys- tals. Drink plenty of fluids — water is the safest bet. This will increase the amount of water in your urine, so those mineral con- centrations don't get too high. — Eat calcium-rich foods. Cal- cium is a major component in about 85 percent of kidney stones, so it seems logical to avoid calci- um in your diet, not seek it out. But most stones are composed of calcium combined with a sub- stance called oxalate. If there is plenty of calcium in your diet, the calcium binds to oxalate in your intestines, keeping oxalate out of your bloodstream — and urine. Less oxalate in the urine means fewer opportunities for calcium oxalate to form — and fewer kid- ney stones. Calcium-rich foods include nonfat dairy products, leafy green vegetables and some varieties of fish, such as salmon. — Reconsider calcium supple- ments. This recommendation per- tains mostly to women, who are often encouraged to take daily cal- cium supplements to promote bone strength, but the advice applies to men as well. Results from the Harvard-based Nurses' Health Study showed that post- menopausal women who took cal- cium supplements were 20 percent more likely to develop kidney stones than women who didn't. — Moderate your sodium intake. Low-sodium diets decrease urinary excretion of cal- cium. — Moderate your protein intake. Protein can increase calci- um and oxalate excretion, raising the probability of stone formation. High-protein diets may also reduce the levels of stone-inhibit- ing substances in the urine. — Moderate your oxalate intake. Calcium intake and other dietary factors seem to be more important than oxalate intake in forming kidney stones, but high oxalate intake can occasionally be a factor. Oxalate-rich foods include beets, chocolate, spinach, rhubarb and most nuts. A number of risk factors con- tribute to kidney stone formation, including certain medical condi- tions. While the guidelines above are a good way to start reducing your risk of stones, your doctor may have good advice about per- sonal prevention strategies for you. As your friend can tell you, it's far better to prevent kidney stones than to spend a night in terrible pain with a stone that just doesn't want to pass. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD Sentenced to 60 days county jail. Recent Proposition 36 Commitments Note: All cases wherein a defendant is sentenced per the terms of Proposition 36 are not at the request of the Tehama County District Attorney's Office. Per the requirements of Proposition 36, a defendant who possesses drugs cannot be sentenced to confinement time in jail or prison. Instead, the court must place defendant on probation and require drug treatment alone. Per the requirements of Proposition 36, only upon a third drug related probation violation may the court impose confinement time. In the event the defendant violates a non-drug related term of probation the court may then elect to sentence defendant to jail or prison. The Tehama County District Attorney's Office contends that each criminal case is unique and that in certain, specif- ic, cases a defendant should be sentenced to a combination of drug treatment and jail time. We further contend that in other specific cases where a defendant has an extensive criminal record and/or a history of non-compliance with either previous grants of probation or previous grants of drug treatment, a state prison sentence should properly be imposed. • Richard Lee Kohl was sentenced to Prop. 36 probation for possession of a controlled substance. An officer conducted a traffic stop on a vehicle driven by Kohl. Upon contacting Kohl the officer could smell the odor of marijuana emitting from the vehicle. The officer then conducted a search of the vehicle and located a plastic bag containing methadone pills. FREE! •COATS • HATS • GLOVES • SCARVES • BLANKETS • COLD WEATHER CLOTHING Free Goodies & Info Everyone Welcome Don't Miss Out! FREE MEAL SAT. NOV. 12th 8 a.m. to Noon At Bethel Church 625 Luther Rd, Red Bluff Call 527-2151 for more information 5B Sponsored by associates of the