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Monday, October 24, 2011 – Daily News FEATURES Jettison jealousy Dear Annie: I am 29 years old, have been married for eight years and have two toddlers. I have decided to leave my husband. When we met, I was in college and my husband had just graduated. I quit school with the assumption that he would pass his licen- sure exam. He has since failed it three times. He has trou- ble retaining information and will like- ly never pass. Four years ago, I had the opportuni- ty to return to school, all expenses paid. I started classes six weeks after our first child was born. My husband was ini- tially supportive, but over time, he has become jealous. I have passed all of my exams with flying colors. While I am careful not to make disparaging remarks about his licensure exam, I believe he is threatened by my success. The closer I get to finishing the ugli- er it gets. Twice he said, ''I hope you fail.'' He has told me to quit school, knowing we would have to pay back every cent of the tuition. He said he doesn't believe it is God's will for me to attend school. (He's also said that if I don't have sex with him, it will be my fault if he fails his exam again.) The biggest problem is what he says in front of the kids. He told our oldest that Mommy was going to lose the house Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar and we would have nowhere to live. I don't have the resources to leave him until I graduate, but I have opened a separate checking account and am moving my things into a storage unit because I believe he will destroy them. I want him to be close to the children, but I don't trust him enough to share custody. He will try to make our chil- dren hate me. How do I ensure that I get primary, residential custody of my kids? — Surviving in Virginia Dear Virginia: In his desperation to control you, your husband's frustration has become emotional abuse. We are concerned that this will escalate. It is possible that joint counseling, particu- larly with your clergy, might help him realize that his attitude is hurting every- one. In the meantime, custody arrange- ments do not come with advance guar- antees, so please talk to a lawyer. And call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at 1-800-799- SAFE (1-800-799-7233). Dear Annie: I have been divorced for seven years. This past weekend, my daughter got married. Her father caught the garter at the reception. He did this a year ago when our younger daughter got married. I think this is in extremely poor taste. Why would a man want the garter his own daughter was wearing on her leg? — Mother of the Bride Dear Mother: You are reading too much into this. Your ex-husband is a single guy and, like all others in atten- dance, is entitled to fight for the bride's garter. We agree that it doesn't show much decorum on his part, nor is it — ''Paranormal Activity 3'' didn't just go bump in the night. It made a ton of noise at the box office with a record-setting, $54 million opening. The third film in Paramount Pictures' low- budget fright franchise, which was No. 1 at the box office, had the biggest debut ever for a horror movie, according to Sunday studio estimates. It broke the previ- ous record part two set a year ago with $40.7 million. It's also the biggest opening ever for an October release, topping the $50.35 million Paramount's ''Jackass 3D'' made last year. ''Paranormal Activity 3'' is actually a prequel, with the discovery of disturbing home-movie footage from 1988. Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, who made the creepy documentary ''Cat- fish,'' took over directing duties this time. Don Harris, Paramount's president of distribution, said the studio hoped part three would simply perform better than part two. The first ''Paranormal Activity,'' with its reported $15,000 budget, became a phenomenon in 2009 through midnight screenings and word of mouth. Harris believes this installment did so well because it's actually the best movie of the three. He noted that it appealed to an older crowd, with 47 percent over the age of 25 compared to 40 percent for ''Paranormal Activity 2.'' Strong reviews also helped, he said, includ- ing a rave from Time maga- zine. And fundamentally, horror movies simply play better in a packed theater. ''Ultimately, it gets back to why there's still a theatri- cal business, why people still go to the movies,'' Har- ris said. ''We want to laugh in a group, we want to be scared in a group, people like to cry in a group in the dark where nobody can see them crying. It's all the rea- son movie theaters exist and this genre has always been front and center.'' Paul Dergarabedian, box-office analyst for Holly- wood.com, said he was expecting ''Paranormal Activity 3'' to come in around $35 million for the weekend, simply because what a good host would do (if he is paying for the wedding), but his boor- ish behavior is outside your control. Dear Annie: I am responding to ''Danged if I Do and Danged if I Don't,'' whose son and new wife don't want her to contact the ex-daughter-in- law. My son divorced seven years ago. My daughter-in-law is invited to every family function because she is the mother of my grandchildren. What would it say to them if I stopped having their mother over because Dad changed his mind about their mar- riage? I invite my son and his wife to the same functions, and she is treated with respect. If she can't handle it, it's her problem. The children need to know how to forgive and move forward like adults. — Been There in California Dear California: Unfortunately, too many insecure second wives respond by cutting off all contact. Par- ents need to tread carefully. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W.Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. 'Paranormal 3' scares up record $54 million debut LOS ANGELES (AP) most newcomers have been underperforming this fall. ''This brand is as solid as the 'Twilight' brand or the 'Jackass' brand. There are certain brands that just tran- scend any kind of box-office rhyme or reason. They just resonate,'' Dergarabedian said. ''These are shot in someone's house, they look like they're shot with a home video recorder, and people just relate to it.'' Last week's No. 1 release, the futuristic boxing robot adventure ''Real Steel,'' fell to second place. It made $11.3 million for a domestic total of $67.2 mil- lion. Worldwide, the Disney movie has grossed $153.3 million. Some treatments for fibroids allow for future pregnancy DEAR DOCTOR K: I am a 31-year-old woman who was recently diagnosed with uterine fibroids. I would like to have chil- dren in the future, so I'm afraid that treating my fibroids may affect my fertility. DEAR READER: Fibroids are non-can- cerous tumors in the uterus. Only about a quar- ter of women with fibroids have symptoms. However, the symptoms can be severe and can affect day- to-day life. Heavy bleed- ing, pelvic pain, having to pass urine frequently or difficulty passing urine are the most common symptoms. Some women who plan to have children choose not to treat fibroids until afterward. But for some, the symptoms are too painful or inconvenient to wait. Among the other new releases this week, Summit Entertainment's 3-D version of ''The Three Musketeers'' came in fourth place with $8.8 million. And Univer- sal's ''Johnny English Reborn,'' a sequel to the 2003 spy parody starring Rowan Atkinson, opened at No. 8 with $3.8 million. But it's already a huge hit inter- nationally, having made $104.5 million so far. In limited release, the critically acclaimed psycho- logical thriller ''Martha Marcy May Marlene'' made $137,541 on four screens in New York and Los Angeles. That's a hefty $34,385 per screen average, according to Fox Searchlight. If you decide you need treatment, be very clear with your doctor about your plans to have chil- dren. Some treatments are completely incompatible with pregnancy. The only sure-fire way to get rid of fibroids is with a hysterectomy, or removal of the uterus. This cures fibroids com- pletely, since it removes them from your body. But it would leave you unable to have children. It's a good choice for women who don't want to have kids (or more kids), but not for you. For women who do want to have kids, there are other treatments. Cer- tain hormone therapies can help keep your fibroids from growing bigger and can reduce your symptoms. There are too many specific hor- mone treatments available to mention them here, but your gynecologist can dis- cuss them with you. Another option is a surgery that removes the fibroid tumors in your uterus, but leaves the Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. healthy tissue of the uterus in place. One concern with this type of surgery is that it can weaken the uterus. A uterus weak- ened by surgery may not be strong enough to endure preg- nancy. In some cases, a cesarean section (C-sec- tion) may be needed to prevent uterine damage during delivery. If your main symptom from fibroids is bleeding, there is one approved drug, tranexamic acid, that might help. If your main symptom is pain, strong doses of non- steroidal anti-inflammato- ry drugs (called NSAIDs) may help. There is a widely used treatment called uterine artery embolization. This cuts off the blood supply to the fibroid tumors and causes them to shrink. Symptoms usually improve. However, I wouldn't recommend it to someone who wants to have more kids, as it can reduce the chances of a successful future pregnan- cy. There are other treat- ments that don't involve surgery or medicines. Some are too new to say whether they affect fertili- ty. Therefore, I would rec- ommend them only to my patients who don't plan on having children in the future. Deciding how to treat your fibroids is an individ- ual decision based on your age, symptoms and future childbearing plans. Your best first step is a frank talk with your doctor. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. 3B Support our classrooms, keep kids reading. DONATE YOUR VACATION newspaper dollars to the Newspaper In Education Program HELP OUR CHILDREN For more details call Circulation Department (530) 527-2151 D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 PHONE: (530) 527-2151 FAX: (530) 527-5774 545 Diamond Avenue • P.O. Box 220 • Red Bluff, CA 96080