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2B Daily News – Monday, October 17, 2011 FEATURES Persnickety parents propagate perplexity Dear Annie: I am a 19- year-old girl still living with my parents. My 22- year- old brother lives here, as well. I am work- ing two part-time jobs and recently obtained full-time employment. My brother, ''Sam,'' attended college courses for one semester two years ago. He has never been employed. He spends all day in his room playing computer games until the late hours of the night. My parents never pressure him to find a job, develop social skills or go back to school. They seem completely content allowing him to live this way. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar do I tell them to reevaluate their priorities without risk- ing my living situation? — Where Do I Go from Here? Dear Where: Your par- ents are butting into your life because you live with them, and that encourages their involvement. They also have greater expecta- tions for you than for Sam, which is why they seem so critical. In order to be inde- pendent, you must leave the nest. If your job doesn't pay enough to find your own apartment, search for roommates. Dear Annie: We installed a However, when it comes to me, my parents are constantly critical. They don't approve of my boyfriend, my social habits, the hours I stay out and the fact that I am not attending college. My moth- er frequently threatens to kick me out, although I doubt she would. I believe my parents are mis- guided. I don't understand why they insist on chastising me when they have a much bigger issue on their hands with Sam. Whenever I try to get involved and suggest that Sam get a job or apply to college, my parents inform me that it is none of my business and he's not my concern. I am worried about what will become of Sam, but I admit I'm also irritated that they are con- stantly butting into my life. How fence several weeks ago. We paid the entire cost and notified our neighbor of our plans. We provid- ed the survey drawings and obtained permission to go onto his property for the installation. We intended to discuss the details with our neighbor, but the contractor had an opening in his schedule, and we proceeded. Our neighbor happened to be on vaca- tion, although we tried to commu- nicate with him by phone and email. When he returned, he was upset that we had ''gone back on our word.'' We recently found new holes poked through the fence from the neighbor's side and some graffiti. We are stunned by this extreme reaction. What should we do? — Baffled Dear Baffled: It sounds as if your neighbor expected to be part of the process and it passed him by. He's resentful and a little childish. We recommend you ''make nice'' and see whether it helps. Pay him a visit, apologize profusely for not waiting until he returned from his vacation, and invite him over for coffee or a beer. Ask for his opinion on the contractor's finished product. If none of this helps, try ignoring what you can, but if his pranks escalate or cause damage, contact the National Association for Community Mediation (nafcm.org) before calling a lawyer. Dear Annie: This is for ''Did- n't Need It,'' who went for coun- seling after getting out of an abu- sive marriage and it didn't help: Don't give up so quickly. My husband and I went to seven different marriage counselors before we found one who didn't take sides. The eighth was well worth the search. It's up to you to find the one best for you, and to follow their advice (or not). Personal change is rarely easy. But it is profoundly rewarding. We've been married 36 years, and our love grows every day. — K Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Upcoming Chico area Sierra Club events The Sierra Club, Yahi Group, is hosting the following events for November: •Wednesday, Nov. 2, Cross Country Ski Trail Maintenance. With cuts in the forest service bud- get, we need your help more than ever. Hand tools furnished by the forest service. We'll be working at McGowen or Colby Meadows. Bring work clothes, gloves, boots, lunch and money for drivers. Meet at Chico Park & Ride at 8 A.M.. For more infor- mation call leader: Larry, 342-7998. • Friday, Nov. 4, Let's dine at Cocodine! Thai cuisine: 2485 Notre Dame Blvd., Chico at 6 p.m. Call leader to reserve your spot by Wednesday, Nov. 2. Leader: Jeanne, 899- 9980. Asst. leaders: Michelle, 865-9491 and John, 872-8258 • Saturday, Nov. 5 – Cross Country Ski Trail Maintenance. With cuts in the forest service bud- get, we need your help more than ever. Hand tools furnished by the forest service. We'll be working at McGowen or Colby Meadows. Bring work clothes, gloves, boots, lunch and $ for drivers. Meet at Chico Park & Ride at 8 a.m. For more information call leader: Larry, 342- 7998. • Saturday, Nov. 5 - Deer Creek Hike. Expe- rience fall colors, ever- green forest and cascad- ing creek waters in a five to six mile round trip on a gently roller-coaster trail hike. Bring lunch, water, carpool money and a camera! Rain can- cels. Meet at Chico Park N Ride at 9 a.m. Leader: Jeanne, 899-9980; Asst. leader: Bill, 527-8203. • Sunday, Nov. 6 - Pot luck/games night. Bring your favorite dish and a favorite game to share as we eat and play away the evening! 6 p.m., Chico. Call leader to sign up and get directions by Thursday, Nov. 3. Leader: Jeanne, 899- 9980. Asst leader, Kel- lie, 892-1744. • Saturday, Nov. 12–Cross Country Ski Trail Maintenance. With cuts in the forest service budget, we need your help more than ever. Hand tools furnished by the forest service. We'll be working at McGowen or Colby Meadows. Bring work clothes, gloves, boots, lunch and $ for drivers. Meet at Chico Park & Ride at 8 a.m. For more informa- tion call leader: Larry, 342-7998. • Wednesday, Nov. 16 – Cross Country Ski Trail Maintenance. With cuts in the forest service budget, we need your help more than ever. Hand tools furnished by the forest service. We'll be working at McGowen or Colby Meadows. Bring work clothes, gloves, boots, lunch and $ for drivers. Meet at Chico Park & Ride at 8 A.M.. For more infor- mation call leader: Larry, 342-7998. • Saturday, Nov. 19 – Sacramento River Trail Hike. Come enjoy the beauty of the Sacramen- to River in Redding. We'll start by crossing the beautiful Sundial bridge and then head upstream to the Ribbon Bridge, cross over to the other side and return for a round trip distance of about seven to eight miles. After the walk you can also visit on your own the scenic McConnell Arboretum or the Turtle Bay Muse- um. Bring lunch, car- pool money and water. Rain cancels. Meet at Chico Park & Ride at 9 a.m. Leader: Alan, 891- 8789 or ajmendoza@prodi- gy.net. • Thursday, Nov. 24 – Cross Country Ski/Snowshoe and Thanksgiving Dinner. Ski or snowshoe fol- lowed by Thanksgiving Dinner at Mineral Lodge. If not enough snow cover we'll take an easy hike. Thanksgiving dinner in Mineral at about 1:30 p.m. and return to Chico around 4:30-5 p.m. Cost: about $18 for dinner, plus car- pool $ for drivers. Reservations required. Meet at Chico Park & Ride at 8:30 a.m. Call leader to make reserva- tions: Larry, 342-7998. Unless otherwise noted, trips are free and open to the public and begin at the trailhead. If you have any questions or want further informa- tion about specific activ- ities contact Wayland Augur at 530-519-4724 or email wba@acm.org. Moderate drinking is healthy, don't go overboard DEAR DOC- TOR K: I enjoy an alcoholic bev- erage from time to time. Now I hear it may actu- ally be good for my heart health. How can I enjoy regular drinking without it becoming a harmful habit? Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. DEAR READER: What you've heard is true. Study after study has shown that moderate alcohol consumption is associated with good health. But — and it's an important "but" — alco- hol is healthful only if you drink moderately and don't go overboard. A little may be better than none, and also bet- ter than more. In order to be sure you're drinking moder- ately, you have to know exactly what that means. Moderate drinking means one or two drinks per day for men and one drink per day for women. The limit is higher for men because they are larger than women, on average. Men also metabolize alcohol differently. One alcoholic drink is usually defined as a bev- erage that contains 14 grams of alcohol. By that standard, a 12- ounce bottle of beer that's 5 percent alcohol counts as a single drink. So does a 5-ounce glass of wine that's 12 percent alcohol. Ditto for 1.5 ounces of hard liquor that's 40 percent alcohol (80 proof). The health benefits of moderate alcohol intake are strongest for protec- tion against heart attack and stroke. It can also help increase "good" HDL cholesterol. Mod- erate drinking also seems to lower your risk of developing Type 2 diabetes and having gallstones. It also appears to protect you against developing dementia in old age. Unfortunately, the news isn't all good: Moderate drinking seems to increase the risk of colon and breast can- cer. Women may be able to reduce the breast cancer risk some by increasing their intake of folate. If you're drinking more than the recom- mended daily amount of alcohol, its benefits quickly vanish. Not only that, there's a long list of harmful side effects that take their place, including serious liver disease (cancer and cirrhosis), high blood pressure, certain can- cers, traffic accidents and violence. So what's considered heavy drinking? The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines it for men as more than four drinks in a single day or more than 14 in a week. For women, it's defined as more than three drinks in a single day or more than seven in a week. You may have heard that certain kinds of alco- holic drinks are "healthi- er" for you than others. In particular, you may have heard that red wine is particularly healthy. This is a controversial area. I think the current evidence does not sug- gest that red wine is any healthier than other types of alcoholic drink. There are health benefits from moderate alcohol intake of any type. If you're wor- ried that you're drifting into heavy drinking, keep track of how much you drink. If you decide you need to slow down, try to follow the guide- lines above. And if you find you have trouble doing so, talk to your doctor about it. ** Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Recycle The Warmth Yes, I can help! Who do you know that needs a coat? Yourself? Children? Grandchildren? Mother or Father? Neighbor? Homeless? Friend? Co-worker? Elderly? C ome to: Bethel Church, 625 Luther Rd., Saturday, Nov. 12th 8:00am to 12 noon Help us get the word out. Every year the Daily News associates have sponsored a warm clothing/soup kitchen giveaway. It is our way of saying " we care about others". Clothing, blankets and food will be available for all. Please help us pass the word to families and individuals that would benefit from this event. COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2595 Local Businesses! DISCOUNTS bundled business-building promotional packages on print, online On Sale OCT 17-28 ONLY! Only available through D NEWSAILY (530) 527-2151 RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY Contact your advertising representative today + cert. Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. K W I K K U T S Family Hair Salon $200 REGULAR HAIRCUT off with coupon Not good with other offers 1064 South Main St., Red Bluff • 529-3540 Reg. $13.95 Expires 10/31/11 If you would like to donate, bring your gently used: • BLANKETS • COATS • HATS • SCARVES • WINTER CLOTHING, to the Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. We will be accepting items until Nov.11th. This event is open to any family or individual in need of winter clothing. THANK YOU Senia Owensby Getting the word out about Recycle The Warmth. Setting up night before giveaway, Nov. 11th. Roving help during giveaway. Tearing down afterward, boxing up, cleaning up. Transporting leftover items back to Daily News. We Also Need: Clothes racks of any size Trash/Leaf - sized bags Your own unique skill or talent Name Phone # E-mail Senia Owensby Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. Call 527-2151, (DailyNews), 526-2173, (cell), or e-mail production@redbluffdailynews.com wowensby@gmail.com Pl The greatest needs each year are for X-Lar sincerely appreciate everyone' g e warm clothes. We sizes and Children' s participation. s ease r e t u r n t h i s f o r m t o