Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/447518
GregStevens,Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIALBOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@red bluffdailynews.com Phone: 530-527- 2151ext. 112 Mail to: P.O. Box 220, 545 Diamond Ave., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS Usuallyovertheperiodof12 months, you get an equal bal- ance of good days and bad. On the playground of the cosmos, the scales tend to balance out. But holey moley catfish, seems like last year the good days spent the bulk of recess time hiding behind the equip- ment shed next to the mon- key bars, and the teeter totter hardly moved what with that fat punk-bad days, grounded on his end of the board throw- ing rocks at squirrels. 2014 was to years what Boko Haram is to religious toler- ance. Think Donald Sterling and Martin Luther King key- note speakers. Utah and jazz. Rob Ford and all you can eat buffets. Oh wait, that does go together. But you catch my drift. 2014 was the year when Facebook offered to freeze em- ployees' eggs, and everyone re- sponded, "eeewwww." That saw Gary Busey made a come- back, and everyone responded, "eeewwww." But this year will be dif- ferent. You watch. Typically, folks use the changing of the calendar to make plans to change their nefarious ways. Quit smoking. More exercise. Cut down on the bacon ma- ple donuts. Stop killing inno- cent people. Boring do-gooder stuff, mostly. So they can look in the mirror. What never crosses their mind is you and me. We got to look at them all the time. So, because of that, here are a list of Resolutions that should be made by people for the 6th year of the second decade of the 21st century but probably won't. Barack Obama vows to never be further than an arm's length away from his veto pen. The 114th Congress resolves to supersede the 113th Con- gress' successes by accom- plishing even less. Or as its known in layman's terms- ab- solutely nothing. Say it again. Scott Brown is hell bent on establishing residency in some lucky state that desires a good- looking, truck- driving man as its next Senator. The Executive Council that runs Hong Kong will find some way to make umbrellas illegal. Elizabeth Warren will ask everyone to call her Betty. Stung by the specter of NFL violence, the CEO of Nike avers the company will never again associate with spoiled overpaid athletes and instead feature school teachers in all its ads. He is immediately fired. Sony Pictures vows that ev- ery single villain in movies re- leased this year will be fic- tional. Liberia aspires to be- come more like Portugal. Mike Huckabee vows that in this year's Iowa Straw Poll, he will not be beaten by the straw. Portugal aspires to be- come more like Greece. John Boehner pledges to find a foundation color that reads less pumpkin and more summer squash. North Korean President Kim Jong Un resolves to put his country's nuclear bomb production on hold until some- one on his team can figure out a delivery system that provides more loft than a yak. Kim Kardashian makes a concerted effort to get back what she's really good at. And hopes that it is something other than showing off her butt. The US State Depart- ment vows to stop threaten- ing to bomb Al Qaeda back to the Stone Age, as they seem to prefer the Stone Age. Like threatening to send Tea Party- ers back to the 50s. Republicans pledge to work out their differences with the hard line partisan hacks on their side of the aisle before yelling at Democrats. And versa visa. WillDurstisanaward-win- ning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to will- durst.com for more about the documentary film "3 Still Standing," and a calendar guide to personal appearances such as his hit one- man show "BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG." Email Will at durst@ caglecartoons.com. Will Durst Resolutions I'm looking forward to Cartoonist's take Continuing our quest (mine, my dog Jazz and other inter- ested parties) we urge all com- puter literate to summon up www.kraftli- brary.com and gaze in wonder- ment at the slides projections of the old and very dear former Her- bert Kraft Free Library in a variety of sea- sons and settings. Then, satis- fied that it should once again be a library albeit an expanded one, contact your local Supervi- sor and suggest he or she insti- gate a feasibility study to see if the acquisition and expansion of same is possible. We (see the above) know it is. We just have to get the powers that be on the same page. We thank you. ••• Speaking of the Kraft, here is as short response I gave a reader who asked why it held such a fascination for me: "A good question. At the very least, information suggests we do not need the 15,000 sq ft now occupied by the County Li- brary on Madison, so a certain downsizing may be appropriate. But my interest goes far deeper into the past. Check out the photos of the Kraft at night and day at www. kraftlibrary.com and you will see you are instantly drawn into earlier times. The images are overpowering to one who has lived a life under its formi- dable shadow. For the proper effect, it might have to be a rainy day sitting in a comfort- able chair — see the red ones in the current library donated in memory of the late Judge Wet- ter — near a window, and look- ing out at a spot on the steps where Senator Jack Metzger, off to legislate in Sacramento, paused to tell me what a fine man was my father, and I would do well to emulate him. "I could go on, but this iconic building needs to function as a library once again." ••• Final old time Burma Shave signs: "He saw the train and tried to duck it. He hit the gas and then the bucket," and "A man, a miss, a car, a curve. He kiss the miss and missed the curve." ••• When participating in your basic standing ovation phenom- ena, consider what prompts it, or rather who initiates it? Watching the Kennedy Cen- ter Honors the other night, there were big production num- bers involved in the introduc- ing of the honorees such as Tom Hanks, and they were all fol- lowed by standing ovations. It's not that Tom doesn't deserve one, but do you suppose people in the audience are paid to rise and virtually force others to do likewise? In olden days, in Ital- ian opera houses for example, performers paid people to be in the audience and applaud like mad and whistle for encores. Surely no one stoops to such pay-for-ovations today, do they? ••• In a recent Daily News arti- cle, a person's name was inad- vertently juxtaposed into the body of a lengthy article. I con- tacted the named party and they exclaimed "oh fiddle-de- dee"or words to that effect, meaning no one would take se- riously such an insertion. I agree up to a point, but what is sometimes reported in newspa- pers, and particular in check- out stand magazines, is of- ten taken as gospel by readers. Some is merely titillating and makes no lasting impression on the reader where others take delight at the misfortune or missteps of the famous. What is the word for this? Schaden- freude, I believe. Not a trait to cultivate unless you are plan- ning to live on a mountaintop. ••• Gentlemen of an advanced age may find donning their trousers while standing is sometimes a chore. Because im- balance often comes late in life, standing on one foot while in- serting a foot at a time can be- come frustrating. However, I note that when I don my cover- alls at the end of the day for the sport of horse stall cleaning, I can do it relatively easily. With that in mind one might elect to wear, what is known as a jump- suit. The late Charles Krause opted for that garb as either a mechanic or pilot or everyday wear. The jumpsuit offers com- fort in that there is no restric- tion about the waist, however it may give the wearer the false impression that his or her waist has not expanded over time, which for reasons of gravity eventually befalls us all. ••• A columnist in this very pa- per, during the holiday season, wrote "If there was one time of the year, one column, to de- vote to things spiritual, Christ- mas would be the time and this would be the column. It would be refreshing to go without the predictable derogatory senti- ments from the secular (athe- ist) left at Christmas (or any other) time. To this day, crosses erected by Christian patriots and veterans, non-controver- sially revered for decades, have inspired antireligious fanatics and their legal warriors to seek their obliteration from public view." The column concludes the paragraph with the hope that the columnist could "… es- cape the judicial harpies and their destructive designs." This is a mouthful to digest without triggering the gag reflex, but the statement "non-contro- versially revered for decades" re- quires revision. There has never been a time in the history of our country, let alone of the world, that religious controversy has not been voiced by believers and non- believers of alternate faiths. Let's establish that fact before drag- ging veterans and patriots into the picture. Tsk, tsk. ••• Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to choose that per- son until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would vol- untarily let go of the rope, be- cause, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping. Robert Minch is a lifelong res- ident of Red Bluff, former col- umnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmur- ray@hotmail. I say More Kra and less Kimball Typically, folks use the changing of the calendar to make plans to change their nefarious ways. Quit smoking. More exercise. Cut down on the bacon maple donuts. Stop killing innocent people. Boring do-gooder stuff, mostly. Sounding off A look at what readers are saying in comments on our website and on social media. This is so shocking, what the hell is happening to our town of Red Bluff? I was thinking bout moving back but I'm hav- ing second thoughts. Janet Hawken: On three teens being arrested as suspects in Saturday night stabbing. I vote we get a lion sanctuary, we can feed them our tweakers, wannabe gangsters and AB 109s. Kristal Todd: On notice of a meeting to discuss proposed African elephant preserve. Robert Minch Will Durst AssemblymanDanLogue 150Amber Grove Drive, Ste. 154, Chico 95928, 530895-4217 Senator Jim Nielsen 2634Forest Ave., Ste. 110, Chico 95928, 530 879-7424, senator.nielsen@senate.ca.gov Governor Jerry Brown State Capital Building, Sacramento 95814, 916445-2841, fax 916558-3160, governor@ governor.ca.gov U.S. Representative Doug LaMalfa 507Cannon House Office Building, Washington D.C. 20515, 202225-3076 U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein One Post St., Ste. 2450, San Francisco 94104, 415393-0707, fax 415393-0710 U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer 1700Montgomery St., San Francisco 94111, 510 286-8537, fax 202224-0454 Contact your officials OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Friday, January 16, 2015 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A6