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Thursday, October 13, 2011 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Foolish feud foils further family festivities Dear Annie: Two of my married children have been in a feud for more than three years. It started with comments made about one of their children and has accelerated to the point where one won't attend a family function if the other is there. Now it is spreading to my other children, who refuse to be in the same room with feuding people. It breaks my heart. they were younger. Regret- fully, there is only so much you can do in such a situa- tion. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My husband and I arranged a family dinner where we suggested everyone simply forgive each other, but it didn't work. We have written letters and talked to our children individually. We even postponed our family reunion because so many of them weren't going to attend and I couldn't han- dle it myself. I do not know what to do and would appreciate any suggestions. — Nameless Dear Nameless: What a shame that your children cannot appreciate their sibling relationships enough to put this aside. Unfortunately, such feuds can take on a life of their own, making reconciliation harder as time passes. Everyone loses. Ask if any of the children would agree to seek family counseling with you. Those who are willing could bene- fit, and it will help you develop bet- ter coping skills. Continue to see your children individually, and occasionally remind them of the good times they had together when Dear Annie: A few years back, my father, ''Peter,'' died after a long and awful illness. Within a year of his death, my best friend decid- ed to adopt a dog. She told me she was naming the dog after a character in one of her favorite TV shows, ''Peter.'' I was surprised by her choice, especially since it's not a common name for a pet. It apparently didn't occur to her that it might make me uncomfortable. At the time, I didn't say anything, fear- ing it would seem self-involved and overly sensitive of me. However, when my mother heard about the dog's name, she was quite offended. My brother was also not happy about a dog sharing a name with a beloved family member so soon after his death. I find that I still resent my friend's choice. Too much time has passed for me to say anything now, but I am wondering whether we are right to be unhappy about this. Was it inappropriate for my friend to give her dog the same name as my recently deceased father? Or is this OK since she claims to be naming it after a completely different person? — Confused Dear Confused: Did your friend address your father by his first name? If not, the connection may not have been as obvious to her as it was to you. Or you could choose to believe that she was trying to honor your dad. And of course, it's equal- ly possible that she is simply obtuse and insensitive. People can name their pets what they wish, and you can't help how you feel about it. However, since this still bothers you after so many years, you may as well mention how much it upset you. We suspect she hasn't a clue. Dear Annie: This is for ''Lone- some,'' the woman who joins groups and does volunteer work, but doesn't find any lasting friend- ships. It may not be her. I have joined my share of groups and have found that many people simply are living in their own little world comprised of their family and immediate circle of friends. They feel no desire to add anyone else. It can be hard to make friends with people whose lives are often filled with long commutes and work hours, day care, after-school activi- ties, caring for aging family mem- bers, etc. All you can do is keep try- ing. Things are not the way they used to be 20 years ago. — Not in My Own Little World Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. National Fire Prevention Week Every year in California firefighters respond to residential structure fires that take lives and inflict millions of dollars in damage. From Oct. 9-15 CalFire is team- ing with the National Fire Preven- tion Association for Fire Preven- tion Week to educate Californians on the simple steps they can take to help protect their family from fires. "Too many lives are lost in home fires in California," said CalFire Director Chief Ken Pim- lott. "Everyone should take steps to help prevent home fires and ensure their family is protected." On average, seven people die in residential structure fires every day nationwide. So far in 2011, CalFire and fire departments across the state have responded to over 3,500 residential structure fires, which have resulted in 191 injuries, 32 deaths and $184 million in property loss. CalFire is taking this opportunity during Fire Pre- vention Week to remind all Californians of the impor- tance of having working smoke alarms, the advan- tages of practicing family fire escape drills twice a year, and the benefits of installing home fire sprin- Cornerstone Community Bank klers. Below are some important fire prevention tips: Smoke Alarms • Test smoke alarms once a month • Replace batteries in all smoke alarms twice a year • Replace smoke alarms every 10 years • Smoke Alarm Fact Sheet Exit Drills • Develop a fire escape plan • Practice family fire drills at least twice a year • More on "Exit Drills In The Home" Home Fire Sprinklers • Provides your family extra time to safely escape • Helps to contain a fire to the room it started in • Will often extinguish the fire before the fire department arrives • Visit NFPA Home Fire Sprinklers Fact Sheet For more fire safety tips visit CalFire website: www.fire.ca.gov. Tremors not always Parkinson's signal DEAR DOC- TOR K: My moth- er's hands are shaking more than usual lately. She has made an appointment with her doctor, but in the meantime, can you tell me if shaking is always a sign of some- thing serious like Parkinson's disease? DEAR READER: The shaking in your mother's hands is called a tremor. Tremors can affect the hands, limbs, head or voice. The actress Kather- ine Hepburn developed tremors of her head and voice in her later years. A person can't control a tremor. essential tremor is much more com- mon. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. It is usually easy to tell the dif- ference. Essential tremor is most noticeable when a person is in action. It can come on when someone is doing everyday things like writing a note or pouring a glass of iced tea. It's the opposite with the tremors of Parkin- son's disease. The tremors occur at rest, as when a person is sitting still with her hands in her lap. But when she reaches out to grab or hold something, the shaking stops. Most of us can get tem- porary tremors as a normal reaction to fear, anger, or when we are simply too tired or worn out. Too much caffeine or nicotine (in heavy smokers) can cause a tremor. So can withdrawal from an addic- tive substance (powerful painkillers or alcohol). Many commonly pre- scribed drugs also can cause a tremor. Examples include drugs used to treat depression such as selec- tive serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), tri- cyclics and lithium; the asthma drugs terbutaline and theophylline; and potent anti-inflammatory drugs such as prednisone. Lowering the dose of these medicines may reduce the tremor. One fairly common dis- ease, hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid) can cause tremor. A patient of mine who came for an annual checkup said her hands had started shaking. She also had a rapid heart rate, even at rest. I ordered blood tests that confirmed she had hyperthyroidism. Treatment fixed her thy- roid, and her tremor. Two other common kinds of tremor are essen- tial tremor and Parkinson- ism. Like you, many of my patients with a tremor worry that they have Parkinson's disease, but There are other symp- toms that help to tell the difference. With Parkin- son's, it is more common for the tremors to start on one side of the body. Also, it is more common for tremors to involve the legs and to make walking diffi- cult. Finally, people with Parkinson's lose facial expression: They don't smile much, or show much emotion in the face. One thing that has helped me diagnose essen- tial tremor in the past may sound a bit odd. The fact is that an alcoholic drink can stop the tremor for an hour or so. So if this works, it may be essential tremor. No, I am not recommend- ing a drink per hour as treatment of essential tremor! Instead, there are two medications that can help control essential tremor: propranolol and primidone, which produce chemical reactions similar to those caused by alcohol. Only your mother's doctor can correctly diag- nose the cause of her tremors. Fortunately, most tremors are not caused by Parkinson's disease and can be successfully treat- ed. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. 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