Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/44320
Monday, October 10, 2011 – Daily News FEATURES Granny's good graces get guests' goat Dear Annie: My hus- band, our daughter and I made plans to visit my mother-in-law. Other fami- ly members will be in town, as well, including our older daughter (age 25) and her boyfriend. They live together. My mother-in-law informed me that my daughter and her boyfriend would be sharing a bed- room. I can't control how my daughter lives, but I don't condone it. I emailed my mother-in-law, explaining that nei- ther my husband nor I is comfort- able with them sharing a room and didn't want to give our younger daughter the impression that this is OK. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ing in a motel, but the pur- pose of the visit is to see the whole family, and we would miss out on any nighttime chats. Staying with our younger daughter is not pos- sible. My husband and I are angry and don't know what to do. — Cool Grandma Doesn't Care Dear Doesn't Care: Your I was shocked when my 80-year- old mother-in-law wrote back say- ing this was her home and she could do whatever she wanted. We've had issues in the past, and it is my belief that she is trying to infuriate me while also appearing "cool and hip'' to my daughter. My husband and I are hurt that she cares nothing about our feelings. What's worse is that in order to give my daughter and her boyfriend a bedroom, our younger daughter has been relegated to another rela- tive's house. It would be so much easier if the two sisters shared the bedroom and the boyfriend slept on the sofa, especially since the girls rarely see each other. We already bought the expensive plane tickets. Otherwise, we would cancel the trip. We considered stay- mother-in-law can do as she pleases in her own home. She also doesn't particularly care about her son's feelings on the subject, not to mention yours. Stop trying to pressure her to see it your way. She has made her decision and prefers your daugh- ter's boyfriend's company to yours. So be it. Your choice is to attend or not, and to stay there or not. Since you are already going, we recommend you find other accom- modations. Yes, you may miss out on some evening chats, but you should not be forced to endure a sit- uation you find uncomfortable, and Mom should realize that you mean what you say. Dear Annie: My mother-in-law passed away last week. My husband of three years notified my family members by email, and we received caring and thoughtful condolences from my siblings, but not one from my nieces and nephews. I am hurt and upset that we received nothing from these young adults. An email response would have been fine, but they couldn't be bothered to take 10 seconds to press ''reply'' and say ''sorry for your loss.'' for two projects going to construction next summer. North Red Bluff Rehab is a $36 million pavement rehabilitation project on Interstate 5 between the North Sacramento River Bridge in Red Bluff to Cot- tonwood at the Gas Point Road interchange. I-5 Weed Rehab in Siskiyou County is an $18 million pavement rehabili- tation project on Interstate 5, near Weed, from State Route 97 to 0.3 miles south of the Weed Rest Area. Both projects include a long-life pavement design for a portion or all of the project limits. It is the goal of the long-life pavement design to require minimal maintenance for up to 40 years before a major reha- bilitation is needed again. Caltrans will be holding a Mandatory Pre-Bid on these projects on Wednes- day, Oct. 12. I feel quite differently about these relatives now and am worried that I will spend the rest of my life bitter over this disappointment. — Canada Dear Canada: It is not uncom- mon for young adults to be unaware of the need to respond to such an email. To them, it is a notification, and replying is awkward. Please don't let this fester. Send another email to those nieces and nephews. Say you hope the original email reached them, because you were disappointed and hurt that none of them expressed condolences. Dear Annie: As a husband, I wouldn't dream of emulating the behavior exhibited by the spouse of ''Unhappily Married to an Ogler,'' nor would my wife of 25 years put up with it for two seconds. The next time this Grade-A jerk does this, she should immediately approach the object of his ogling and say in a loud voice: ''My 50- year-old husband just commented on your large breasts and tattoos. Would you ever consider sleeping with him?'' I guarantee he will never do it again. And if he does, she should pack her bags because she's better off without him. — Smart Enough To Know Better Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Mandatory pre-bid meeting on 2 pavement projects Caltrans is gearing up The purpose of the pre- bid is to increase Small Business, Disabled Veter- an and Disadvantaged Business usage in these contracts. Prime contrac- tors are required to attend this meeting as part of the bidding process. The meet- Californians who enjoy visiting the state's wildlife areas and ecological reserves are reminded that day-use and annual passes are no longer sold at on-site checkpoints. As of Monday, Oct. 3, visitors to these areas must make an advance purchase of a $4.32 daily lands pass or a $22.68 annual lands pass, either online at www.dfg.ca.gov/licens- ing or at one of the California Department of Fish and Game's 1,500 license agents or license sales offices. The areas that require day-use or annual passes for non- hunting visitors include Gray Lodge, Grizzly Island, Los Banos, San Jacinto and Imperial Wildlife Areas, and Elkhorn Slough and Upper Newport Bay Ecological Reserves. After providing proof of a pre-paid pass, visitors will be issued a daily entry permit at these areas. ing provides a forum for small businesses to meet prime contractors to encourage the use of local businesses as subcontrac- tors for supplies and ser- vices in the North State. Examples of types of subcontract work: installa- tion of highway lighting, signs, and permanent closed circuit televisions; clearing and grubbing; erosion control; and traffic control. A complete list of Bid Items and further pro- ject information is avail- able on the Caltrans web- site at dot.ca.gov/hq/esc/oe/wee Talk to teens about dangers of bath salts DEAR DOC- TOR K: I heard a news story about people using bath salts to get high. Can you explain how this is possi- ble? Should my husband and I talk to our two teenagers about this? DEAR READ- Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. ER: I can see why you'd be confused. I was, too, the first time I heard about "bath salts" being used as a recreational drug. But the bath salts you've heard about have nothing to do with soaking in a tub. These so-called bath salts are sold at "head shops" where drug para- phernalia is sold. They are also sold at some conve- nience stores and gas sta- tions and on the Internet. The products go by names such as White Rush, Cloud Nine, Ivory Wave, Ocean Snow, White Lightning, Scarface, Hur- ricane Charlie, Blue Silk and Bloom. kly_ads/all_advertised.ph p. The meeting for the projects will be held at 1 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 12 at the Caltrans West Venture Building at 1031 Butte St., Redding. Small businesses are encouraged to attend this free networking event. RSVP on-line at http://www.dot.ca.gov/dis t2/smbusiness/regform.ht m. Additional information can be obtained by calling 229-0561 or sending an e- mail to Rebecca.alexan- der@dot.ca.gov. Visitors reminded to buy passes for Wildlife Areas, Reserves The only exception is the Elkhorn Slough Ecological Reserve, which will continue to sell daily and annual pass- es at its Visitors Center. Visitors who have a valid California hunting or fishing license may obtain an entry permit by presenting their license at the area, and are not required to purchase a pre- paid daily or annual pass. These products are actually designer drugs that can be used to get high. They are stimulant drugs, like methampheta- mine. They can be taken by mouth. Unfortunately, most people snort or inject them, which makes bath salts more dangerous than when taken by mouth. But however they are taken, they are dan- gerous — for the person taking them, and for peo- ple around them. Bath salts often cause the user to become extremely excitable, aggressive and destruc- tive. A colleague told me about two young men who came into the emer- gency room, out of their minds because of bath salts. They were yelling, pushing each other, grab- bing hospital staff. They were seeing things, like people or animals that weren't there. They were terrified that aliens were after them. It took three strong men to hold each guy down. Bath salts don't just make people crazy. They also cause jerking, uncon- trollable muscle mo v ements, severe high blood pressure and rapid heartbeat. By putting the heart rate and blood pressure into overdrive, they can even cause sudden death. Because these products have been sold as bath salts and labeled "not for human consumption," they flew under the radar for a while. The deliber- ately confusing descrip- tion made them hard to label as controlled or ille- gal substances. For the time being, people can still buy these bath salts. That won't last long, though. The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) plans to change this very soon. On Sept. 7, the DEA announced plans to implement a temporary, year-long ban on the active chemicals in bath salts and all products con- taining them. During this ban, the agency will con- tinue to study whether the drugs should be banned in the long term. This ban will make it illegal to make, possess or sell these products. It should go into effect sometime this month. Even though it will be illegal to sell bath salts, a quick Internet search shows it's still easy to buy them right now. So I'd advise taking some time to talk with your kids about the dangers of bath salts and other illegal drugs. I know that there is always a danger in talking about risky behavior to teenagers. For some, it makes the behavior more, not less, attractive. But even teenagers don't want to go crazy or to die. So remind them of the risks — and that there are safer ways to have fun. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Recycle The Warmth Yes, I can help! Who do you know that needs a coat? Yourself? Children? Grandchildren? Mother or Father? Neighbor? Homeless? Friend? Co-worker? Elderly? C ome to: Support our classrooms, keep kids reading. DONATE YOUR VACATION newspaper dollars to the Newspaper In Education Program HELP OUR CHILDREN Bethel Church, 625 Luther Rd., Saturday, Nov. 12th 8:00am to 12 noon Help us get the word out. Every year the Daily News associates have sponsored a warm clothing/soup kitchen giveaway. It is our way of saying " we care about others". Clothing, blankets and food will be available for all. Please help us pass the word to families and individuals that would benefit from this event. If you would like to donate, bring your gently used: • BLANKETS • COATS • HATS • SCARVES • WINTER CLOTHING, to the Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. We will be accepting items until Nov.11th. This event is open to any family or individual in need of winter clothing. For more details call Circulation Department (530) 527-2151 D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 PHONE: (530) 527-2151 FAX: (530) 527-5774 545 Diamond Avenue • P.O. Box 220 • Red Bluff, CA 96080 THANK YOU Senia Owensby Getting the word out about Recycle The Warmth. Setting up night before giveaway, Nov. 11th. Roving help during giveaway. Tearing down afterward, boxing up, cleaning up. Transporting leftover items back to Daily News. We Also Need: Clothes racks of any size Trash/Leaf - sized bags Your own unique skill or talent Name Phone # E-mail Senia Owensby Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. Call 527-2151, (DailyNews), 526-2173, (cell), or e-mail production@redbluffdailynews.com wowensby@gmail.com 3B Pl The greatest needs each year are for X-Lar sincerely appreciate everyone' g e warm clothes. We sizes and Children' s participation. s ease r e t u r n t h i s f o r m t o