Up & Coming Weekly

NOVEMBER 11-17, 2009 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Between a Rack & A Hard Place I'm planning to marry my boyfriend in December. I love how he makes me feel like a supermodel even though I'm slightly overweight, and how he's always saying he loves me. This is in sharp contrast to my mentally abusive ex-husband always saying he never loved me. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to clean out his car, and I found a black bra under the passenger seat. He said, "Baby, I bought that for you, it was supposed to be a surprise." When asked to produce the tags or receipt, he responds, "Excuse me for trying to do something romantic" or says he'll show me the rack at the store where he got the bra. Should I really believe he accidentally bought a bra way smaller than my size and lost the tags and receipt? He's proven to be romantic on several occasions — only several because we only met in March. He swears he's being honest, but he lies a lot; even his parents tell me they can't believe much of what he says. — Hopeless Romantic There are two sides of you talking here: the side dying to believe he'll show you the rack at the store where he found the bra, and the side that can't help but know that the rack he got it off belongs to some skinny blonde. Come on... you know as well as we all do, when a guy's buying his girlfriend lingerie, the salesclerk doesn't say, "I could wrap this in pink tissue paper, slap on a gold sticker, and pop it in a fancy little bag. But, you know how your girlfriend would really like it... under the passenger seat, with a Life Saver stuck to it, next to a crumpled Burger King wrapper and some crunched-up leaves." Yeah, I know... excuuuuse him for trying to do something romantic. Next on Romeo's list, "I have a box of chocolates for you — they've been in the trunk for a month!" He does have his good qualities, all two of them: He makes you feel like a supermodel — one whose boyfriend cheats on her — and always tells you he loves you. He especially loves how you look in the moonlight when you're believing just about anything. His other character witnesses are less dewey- eyed. While parents of murderers step over the dead bodies in their foyer to defend their kid's honor, his parents came right out and told you he's a relentless liar. You later e-mailed me that he yells and swears at them, and even threatened to vandalize their new car if his dad didn't do what he wanted. (Apparently, telling Dad he's pretty doesn't cut it.) Do you actually find anything attractive about him; I mean, besides how attractive he makes you feel? You're clearly trying to make the best of a really bad situation, because for you, being without a man is an even worse situation. This boyfriend isn't a good guy, just a different kind of bad guy than the last one. Once again, this isn't going to end well — none of your relationships will until you do the hard work it takes to build up a strong self and standards, and the guts and dignity to stand up for them instead of settling for pretty talk. For a guidebook, pick up Nathaniel Branden's The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. You'll be ready to date again when you find it unbelievable that this guy was ever in a position to ask you to marry him — and even more unbelievable that your answer was "Yes" and not "Why don't we skip straight to the bitter divorce?" Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Benefi cial period for negotiating contracts with business partnerships or others. Big projects often need "OPM" (Other People's Money) to succeed. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 A relationship question should fi nd a happy answer as love planet Venus moves into sector of "meaningful others". What you ask for may receive a nice surprise. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. Venus, planet of harmony indicates the time is right to introduce any new ideas you've been thinking about at workplace. Acceptance should come without much effort. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Social interests are hi-lighted by this weeks move of Venus into your sector of Ro- mance. This should be an enjoyable time for all Moon children, single or long time married. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 Creative emphasis may be on home issues as artistic Venus moves thru Domestic sec- tor. A home based www.enterprise could become a money-maker. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 If at fi rst you didn't succeed, it's time to try again. New position of friendly Venus indi- cates efforts will work to your advantage if you get out and circulate in nearby places. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Venus, planet of creativity moves thru your Money sector. Your artistic nature com- bined with the new technologies will work in your favor if you take action now. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Your sign plays host to new move of Venus New position favors social and artistic en- deavors. Publicize goals. Get involved with new groups. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 The "way out" is from "within". Our subconscious holds the answers we seek. Channels of clarity fl ow more freely when we decide to "sleep on it". CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Personal wishes may be granted as Venus- moves through your sector of Hope. Social contacts provide opportunities to improve your income also. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Where Career matters are concerned, new position of Venus should provide a big assist. Promote your talents and abilities, they're your keys for success. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 2F0 In matters pertaining to distant places, new opportunities should be acted upon. Educational updates in your fi eld willkeep you ahead of the crowd. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Recent Precision-Tuning of the Fruitfl y Brain: Scientists at England's University of Oxford know how to make fruitfl ies scared of things they weren't scared of previously — by implanting artifi cial memories in their brains after somehow locating and managing the precise 12 neurons that enable the fl ies to learn things. The implanted "danger" (the smell of sweat-soaked athletic shoes) causes the fl ies to scatter at the fi rst whiff. [New York Times, 10-20-09] Scientists at the University of Toronto know how to make fruitfl ies sexually attractive to fl ies of both sexes and to different fl y species — by removing the specifi c hydrocarbon brain cells that produce the pheromones thought to attract sex- specifi c mates. (Only the choice of partners was modifi ed and not horniness level.) [BBC News, 10-14-09] Government in Action Small-Town Mayors: For three weeks in September, budget-conscious Mayor Sallie Peake of Wellford, S.C., barred the police from chasing perpetrators of crimes in progress, even if offi cers drove at the speed limit. Offi cers were instructed, instead, to arrest suspects later in their homes. (The mayor, under siege, rescinded the policy on Sept. 24.) [WSPA-TV (Spartanburg), 9-20-09, 9-24-09] Mayor Stu Rasmussen, 61, of Silverton, Ore., elected last year even though he dresses openly as a woman, drew criticism from offi cials of a community group in July when he addressed students while wearing a miniskirt and a swimsuit top. Critics suggested he should dress at least in "professional" women's clothes when speaking to youth groups. [KATU-TV (Portland), 7-23-09] New York City, which is sued more than 1,000 times a year, has a policy of settling some lawsuits quickly to avoid the risk of expensive judgments. The New York Daily News reported in October that more than 20 lawsuits, going back several years, were fi led by members of the East 21st Street Crew (a well-known Brooklyn gang notorious for selling crack cocaine), and that the city has settled every time, paying out more than $500,000. The "civil rights" lawsuits were over possibly illegal searches and for criminal charges that the city later dismissed. [New York Daily News, 10-11-09] Great Art! Worth Every Dollar: New Zealand's Waikato National Contemporary Art Award in September (worth the equivalent of $11,000) went to Dane Mitchell, whose entry consisted merely of discarded packaging materials from all the other exhibits vying for the prize. Mitchell called his pile Collateral. (Announcement of the winner was poorly received by the other contestants.) [Waikato Times, 9-8-09] The fight goes on for more than 500,000 babies born too soon each year. They need your help. What will you do to give premature babies a fighting chance? marchofdimes.com/fightforpreemies for preemies © 2009 March of Dimes Foundation This ad courtesy of Our Prematurity Campaign Sponsors

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