Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/43696
Monday, October 3, 2011 – Daily News FEATURES Son's sulking strains support situation Dear Annie: My 26-year- old son graduated two years ago from a terrific university. During college, he lived on his own and had a girlfriend, but just before graduation, they broke up. My son had a hard time coping, and when he graduated, he came back to live at home. In those two years, he has- n't applied for any jobs. When I arranged a few inter- views for him, he didn't do well. I believe he suffers from severe anxiety and gets nervous when meeting people, especially older men who tend to be the ones interviewing him. I have begged him to get counsel- ing, but he insists there is nothing wrong. He stays in his room all day and only comes out for dinner. His friends have moved on with their lives, and he barely speaks to any of them. I have talked to him and even threatened to kick him out, but I can't follow through. Where would he go? Please help me find a way to get him to face the world. — Worried Mom Dear Worried: Your son seems depressed and lethargic. Tell him counseling is a condition for remain- ing in the house. You will have to do a little enabling to start. Ask your physi- cian for a counseling referral, call to explain the problem and make an Altacal Audubon Soci- ety Program & Field Trip activities for October are as follows: • October Program - Monday, Oct. 17, 6:30 p.m., Chico Creek Nature Center Antarctica and Argenti- na - Birds and Much More! Presented by John Sterling John will share with us his trip as a naturalist on an expedition ship to Antarcti- ca, the Falkland Islands, South Georgia Island, and Tierra del Fuego during Jan- uary 2010. Afterwards, he will take us to temperate central Argentina where he'll show us the birds from that region. He will illus- trate his talk with many photographs of birds, marine mammals and scenery. Oct. 8, Saturday - Sec- ond Saturday - Upper Bid- well Park; Trip Leader: Jon Aull We are going to start this field trip at 9 am at the park- ing lot on the left just past the gun club (follow Wild- wood Ave for 1.75 miles and turn left just before the gate). After birding Horse- shoe Lake and the area, we will head up the canyon to the Yahi Trail head. There, we will follow the Yahi Trail along the creek as far as time permits (2-3 miles round trip). We should be Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar appointment, and then be sure your son keeps it, even if that means driving him there and escorting him inside. Beyond that, however, he must take responsibility for his own recovery, which may include medication. Also look into help for yourself. You may need to follow through on your threat to toss him out, and you might need some support to do it. Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for slightly more than a year. How do I handle the constant stream of ques- tions from family and friends wonder- ing when we're going to have a baby? I have had two miscarriages and simply don't know how to respond. Do I tell them the truth, which is very painful? How can I get them to stop asking every time they see me? I know they mean well, but this seems like a rather personal question. Just because a couple has no children doesn't mean they aren't trying. — New Bride in the Midwest Dear Bride: We are continually amazed that nosy people think some- one else's fertility is their business. You are not obligated to respond to these questions. You can politely ask, ''Why do you need to know?'' But a reader once wrote that she used to be that kind of nosy person until a friend back to the cars by about 12:30 pm. Bring binoculars, water, snacks, walking shoes and proper clothing for the expected weather conditions. Rain cancels. For information, contact Jon Aull at the Chico Creek Nature Center 530-891- 4671. • Oct. 14 - 16, Friday - Sunday - Black Butte Lake - Camping/Kayaking/Canoe Trip; Trip Leader: Jennifer Patten Black Butte Lake is best known for its warm water, Blue oak woodlands and towering black basalt buttes. It's also a resting and feed- ing stop for migratory bird species. We will camp at Buckhorn Campground on Black Butte Lake. Please bring your kayak or canoe. We will leave early Satur- day morning to paddle towards the south end of the lake where along the way we hope to see bald eagles, a wide variety of ducks, grebes, and bird species. On Sunday we'll explore other areas of the lake. For details or reservations call Jennifer Patten, 530-345-9356, or email jpchico@sbcglobal.net. Oct. 23, Sunday - Chico Oxidation Ponds Wildlife Sanctuary; Trip Leader: Kathy Trevino Come join us as we replied that she was trying desperately to get pregnant and it was too painful to discuss. That was the response that finally made her stop asking. Dear Annie: This is for ''Hurting for My Daughter,'' who was being ver- bally bullied at school. I, too, am a rural town mom. I have watched both of my daughters endure the harassing phone calls, text mes- sages and snide remarks, simply because they didn't fit into the ''in'' crowd. I spent many late nights wiping tears, some of them my own. I always told my daughters that someday these Barbie dolls would no longer be the top dogs. I also told them that high school is only a small pas- sage through the journey of life, and that after they graduated, they would look back in amazement at the drama that encompassed them. I am happy to say that high school is behind us now, and my girls are well-adjusted, respectful adults who would never treat anyone this way. Tell ''Hurting'' to give her daughter love, encouragement, the belief that this is just a bump in the long journey of life and the wisdom to take the high road. — A Former Hurting Small-Town Mom Dear Former: When you're living it, high school torments seem as if they will last forever. But those who can get through the experience will be stronger for it. Audubon Society outings scheduled for October explore the wildlife sanctu- ary behind Chico's waste- water treatment plant. This is usually an excellent place to find a good variety of species. To get there from highway 32 in Chico, go west (southwest) on West 5th Street for 3.9 miles. The facility is on the left. We will meet in the wildlife viewing parking area, which is 300 yards past the main entrance to the treat- ment plant. Let's meet at 4 pm and we'll bird until dusk. Please bring binocu- lars, and if you have one, a scope. For more informa- tion call or email Kathy Trevino at 530-520-2872 or kathytrev@sbcglobal.net. • Oct. 29, Saturday - OWL-O-WEEN; Trip Leader: Dawn Garcia Join us for a night of fun looking and listening for owls in the foothills above Chico. Meet at Chico Park & Ride on Hwy. 32, lot nearest Hwy 99 at 5 p.m. We will car pool up to the Big Chico Creek Ecological Reserve (10 miles) and begin our search for owls. At dark we will join Dawn Garcia at her Northern Saw- whet Owl banding station. She will give us an overview of her owl band- ing, take groups to the mist nets, and with the luck of the goblins, may witness the capture and processing of a Northern Saw-whet or Western Screech-Owl, and maybe a bat or two! We will return to the Park & Ride by 9 pm. cal Audubon is requested. For additional details or reserve a spot, contact Dawn at 530- 872-2165 or mel.dawn@sbcglobal.net. All programs and activi- ties are free unless other- wise indicated and are open to the public. For more information, call 519-4724 or email wba@acm.org. Why am I tired all the time? DEAR DR. K: Lately I find myself so tired all the time. I'm in my late 20s. I have a part-time job and go to school at night. I'm definitely busy and more than a little stressed. My doctor says I'm not anemic and my thy- roid is fine. Should I be taking vitamins? Sleeping more? What else could the problem be? DEAR READER: A lot of illnesses can drain energy from a person, including anemia and thyroid prob- lems. But usually feeling tired all the time is not due to disease; it's due to life. I can easily understand why you might feel tired. You've got a lot on your plate. Several possibilities other than ill- ness could be at play here. Your hectic work and school schedule would cause anyone a lot of stress. Work and school both chal- lenge you throughout the day and night, often dealing out nasty surprises like being asked to be in two places at the same time. When you are faced with sudden and unexpected challenges, you're likely to experience what's called the fight-or-flight response. A sudden rush of stress hor- mones helps your body deliver a surge of energy to deal with challenges. But afterward you feel depleted. Repeatedly running on high-alert eats up your ener- gy supply just as driving 80 mph guzzles your gas. So how can you counter stress? When you feel stressed, try deep breathing (inhale as you silently count up to four, exhale as you count down to one) or another kind of relaxation. Practice meditation. Or con- sider behavior therapy, which helps you recognize — and defuse — your response to stress. Depression and anxiety are two other common caus- es of feeling tired all the time. I ask my patients about certain "red flag" symp- Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. toms. Do you often feel sad, hopeless or worthless? Have you had problems with your appetite (too much or too lit- tle)? Are you hav- ing sleep problems or trouble concen- trating or making decisions? If you have any of these, you could be suf- fering from depression. The red flag symptoms for anxiety include many of the depression symptoms, plus restlessness, irritability and muscle tension. If you think you may be suffering from depression or anxiety, it's worth talking with your doctor. Frequent exercise, talk therapy and medication when needed can help ease these problems. Too much sleep can leave you as tired as too lit- tle sleep. Aim for seven to eight hours of sleep at night; any more or any less have been associated with increased health problems. What you eat and how active you are can have a huge effect on your energy. Regular exercise makes you sleep better, boosts your mood and helps melt stress. Small meals and snacks throughout the day maintain your energy level better than one or two large meals. That's true even if you get the same number of calo- ries. Vitamin deficiency, particularly of vitamins B12 and D, can cause fatigue. Your doctor can test your blood for these deficiencies. If you still feel worn out after trying some of these suggestions, call your doctor to schedule a more thorough exam. But that probably won't be necessary: Making healthy changes now can energize you and ward off a full power outage. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDrK.com. 3B Support our classrooms, keep kids reading. DONATE YOUR VACATION newspaper dollars to the Newspaper In Education Program HELP OUR CHILDREN For more details call Circulation Department (530) 527-2151 D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 PHONE: (530) 527-2151 FAX: (530) 527-5774 545 Diamond Avenue • P.O. Box 220 • Red Bluff, CA 96080