Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/426140
DECEMBER 3-9, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD November is tax-publicizing season in Finland, where, starkly unlike America, the government releases all individuals' tax records to help build public support for the country's vast welfare state. Thus, reported Foreign Policy magazine, Finnish society gets a "yearly dose of schadenfreude" ... "opening the door for a media frenzy of gossip, boasting and fingerpointing" about "fair share" and who's more worthy. A few, however, proudly pay high Finnish taxes as a "badge of patriotism," rejecting common tax shelters. "We've received a lot of help from society," said one homegrown (and wealthy) entrepreneur, "and now it is our turn to pay back." [Foreign Policy, 11-5- 2014] "Offended!" (Tiptoeing in America) Steve Soifer, CEO of an international support group for people with "shy bladders," excoriated DirecTV in November for its series of commercials featuring Rob Lowe, whose "awkward" character in one ad stands at a urinal and says, "Fact: I can't go with other people in the room." Soifer says the ad ridicules a serious problem — and compared it to "making fun" of a man missing an arm or leg. [Associated Press via New York Daily News, 11-4-2014] The Power of One Sensitive Soul: Lt. Col. Sherwood Baker was turned away from Adams High School in Rochester, Michigan, in September by a guard who said a school official sent word that Baker was not allowed in to discuss his daughter's class schedule until he changed to civilian clothes — because "a student" might be offended by his military uniform. (The Rochester school superintendent later apologized.) The British Embassy in Washington, D.C., apologized twice in August, first a tongue-in-cheek "apology" for England's War of 1812 attack on the White House and then for making that "apology" in the first place — because of a backlash on Twitter from Americans complaining the jokey "apology" was "offensive." [Daily Mail (London), 9-11-2014] [Sky News (London), 8-25-2014] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, expect to be called into action several times this week. You may prefer to avoid the spotlight, but that won't be the case this week. Make the most of this opportunity. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, all of a sudden you are so busy it can be difficult to find a few moments to rest. Thankfully, you are able to keep up with all of the activity. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, seek advice from a trusted confidante as you contemplate a major lifestyle change. This person will provide valuable insight as you look to make the best decision possible. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, going solo on a project may not seem like the ideal situation. But you don't want to be distracted this week, so going it alone is the best way to tackle the tasks at hand. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, following your gut may not always work out, but this week everything works out for the best. Curb impulsiveness as much as you can, though. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, although you might be dreaming of a lavish vacation and an escape from the daily grind, it's just not possible at this time. Start saving for this dream excursion. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, although it's noble to offer assistance to everyone you meet, you may be struggling to take care of yourself in the process. You must put your needs first. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 A desire to detach from others and be entirely self-sufficient can have some challenges, Scorpio. You don't need to give up independence to have the support of others. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, your energy levels are high and there is nothing you can't accomplish this week. Avoid extra caffeine because you're already buzzing. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Find a balance between caution and carelessness, Capricorn. You cannot control every situation, and this week you may have something unexpected come your way. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, if you're on the lookout for new work opportunities, look no further than your own supervisor for guidance. He or she may be your biggest ally. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 You have boundless creativity, Pisces, and this week you get to channel it into a special project. Don't overextend yourself until everything gets done. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard ADVICE GODDESS Belittle Richard My girlfriend says she likes that I'm smart but says I can be "on" too much of the time. For example, if someone pronounces a word wrong or uses it incorrectly, I'll correct them. If they talk about their fad diet, I'll explain why it doesn't make scientific sense. My girl- friend says I am "condescending" and make people feel bad. That's not my intention. It's a matter of right and wrong. How can I help her understand that I just care about getting the facts out? — Honest Sometimes, immediately calling people on their errors is the right thing to do, like if you're the guy keeping an eye on the big thermometer outside the nuclear reactor. In social situations, however, being right isn't the point. The point is connecting with people, and you don't do that by correct- ing them — showing them up with your mastery of "Hooked on Phonics" or ex- plaining how stupid they are to be on that new diet they're all excited about:. Typically, there are two kinds of people who think they know it all and have to hammer others with it immediately: 12-year-olds and the secretly insecure. Others who do this are narcissists — self- obsessed showoffs with a pernicious lack of empathy. But a few may have Asperger's syndrome, which is associated with high intelligence, difficulty in understanding how others feel (called "mindblindness"), and a tendency to think in black and white. For "aspies," things are either right or wrong. Things they perceive to be wrong they find very disturbing, and they're driven to right them — in conversation, or let's say they get a love letter. What else is there to do but make corrections in red and send it back? But even people with Asperger's can learn to act empathetically by having someone help them understand how cer- tain behaviors tend to make others feel and then memorizing socially appropriate re- sponses (like smiling and nodding instead of challenging somebody to a duel over their misuse of the subjunctive). At the very least, you need to ask "Would it be okay if I told you what I learned while in the gram- mar police?" before diagramming some- body's sentence on the restaurant wall. Whatever your reason for going all conversational disciplinarian on people, as someone who values being right, you probably value being effective. Correcting people makes them feel attacked, which makes them defensive. They won't hear your correction; they'll just hear you telling them they're an idiot. Ironically, it's by lis- tening to people and giving them the sense that you like and respect them that you might get them interested in your ideas — fun as it must be to turn every social occa- sion into a Soviet show trial, but with hors d'oeuvres and an open bar.