Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/424106
You got to love Thanks- giving. You do. It's the law. And be honest; doesn't a little trypto- phan poison- ing amongst family and friends sound pretty com- forting right about now? What with Ebola infested ISIS members slithering across the border carrying photos of Bill Cosby ogling Kim Kardashian's butt? Besides, this holiday isn't about greasing the wheels of capitalism with the fire hose of consumer debt like that other one just down the road. This one is about gluttony. Pure and sim- ple. And the only attendant religiosity is praying the Cowboys lose. So allow me to express my gratitude for the 4th Thursday of November: it's annual appearance being one of the little moments that makes life worth liv- ing. Right up until the 4th bottle of white Zin, when Aunt Hoogolah informs Uncle Bud how Grandpa characterized his turkey carving and all hell breaks loose. Nevertheless, here's a few more blessed things that prompt this middle-aged, round-headed, political comic to get down on his knees and thank the maker. Barack Obama. Upcom- ing 3rd year of his 2nd term promises much big- ger, knock-down, drag-out fights with the Republi- cans. Not to mention the Democrats. Chris Christie for so gen- erously providing the com- edy community with such a target rich environment in- cluding his Macy's Thanks- giving Day Parade Balloon Float-the only one which is actual size. Anchor Steam Christmas Ale. Especially this year. Hillary Clinton who since 1992, no matter how much effluvium gets thrown at her, just keeps on keeping on, like the En- ergizer Bunny on steroids. Ted Cruz for being cra- zier than Norman Bates af- ter a dip in a psilocybin bath riddled with corn fun- gus. The International Panel on Climate Change for fi- nally just throwing up its hands and playing darts while drinking beer on the patio. Sarah Palin, because she just can't help herself. Bill Clinton, because he just can't help himself. Fox News for incremen- tally ramping up the vitriol and hyperbole with the ob- vious goal of eventually fea- turing giant lizards spitting and clawing at each other. Kim Kardashian who de- terminedly refuses to allow any lack of discernible tal- ent keep her from becom- ing famous. The entire Toronto Ford family including Rob and brother Doug for making American politicians feel better about themselves. The airline industry who have driven customers to stow away amongst the landing gear in their never- ending search for legroom. Donald Sterling who with his lifetime NBA ban should live to be 110. Black Friday Creep for pro- viding the requisite distrac- tion allowing we gluttons to cop extra portions of pie. For whoever is marrying Charles Manson. Just be- cause. For the entire State of Florida. Just because. Harry Reid, for stead- fastly refusing to be part of the solution. Pope Francis and Pope Benedict, because 2, two, too Popes are better than one. The 22nd Amendment, which, for 67 years, has proudly kept the American people from making the same mistake more than twice. The GOP, waging an in- ternal war for its very soul. GOP Soul. Short book. Put it on the shelf right next to Barack Obama Leadership Skills. The Newly Elected 114th Congress. Because if you liked the 113th Congress, you're going to love these guys. Exponential factor gridlock. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally ac- claimed political comic. Email Will at durst@cagle- cartoons.com. Visit to will- durst.com to find about more about his new CD, "Elect to Laugh" and cal- endar of personal appear- ances. WillDurst Stuff to be thankful for Cartoonist's take With my unfailing under- standing of human nature, I surmised that Pablo (the Panda) Sandoval would not desert his S.F. baseball fans by going to the highest bidder for his services and bolting to Boston, that the Shasta Dam was nearly invulnera- ble and that black folks would not engage in whole- sale rioting and looting after a grand jury found no cause for indictment of a white police officer, especially because the family of the slain youth had urged their fellow blacks to use restraint and not riot or loot. Well, one correct surmise out of three ain't bad. ••• A week ago I inquired of the emergency response people as to what valley residents might expect if Shasta Dam failed. They replied that their original information was outdated and was being revised, but I could expect a new report in the near future. During WWII, there were both Allied and Axis interests to destroy dams and other wa- ter features, of which, many ex- perts post World War II consid- ered in the location and design of reservoirs and hydroelec- tric facilities. Inundation maps were prepared to study the ef- fects of dam failures and even aerial bombardment. However, most experts scoffed at the idea of such threats doing any great damage from above. Today, investigation has re- vealed the possibility of a Shasta Dam failure is highly unlikely, and that members of the Tea Party, for example, and those favoring separation of northern California from the rest of the state, would all fare equally depending more on their swimming ability rather than party persuasion. First of all, the shape and contours of the dam were de- signed to withstand great pres- sures over and above that cre- ated by the lake behind. Sec- ondly, the volume of water therein in drought years would be considerably less, and osten- sibly less of a threat if released. That said, in the worst case scenario, what warning time would Anderson residents need to head for higher ground before being subject to flooding? Ex- perts estimate 25 minutes. Red Bluff east of the river perhaps about an hour, whereas people on Main street and high ground to the west might only experi- ence wet feet. Looking at a topo- graphical map of our valley one is impressed how quickly it fans out to the foothills thereby miti- gating the effects of flooding. As my father advised many years ago, when in doubt, jump in the car and head for Mineral. He once owned a nice home up there, but it was the sum- mer time climate that lured him there, not the "what ifs" of mighty Shasta Dam. ••• Pablo Sandoval, 3rd base- man for the SF Giants said re- cently, "I'd love to be back here, I love the fans, I love my team- mates" and so forth. Uh huh. He should have added, "How- ever, I go to the highest bid- der. My talk of 'love' for the fans was just for the newspapers." So much for the Panda hats. Base- ball fans are loyal, but fickle. I suspect he might even be booed if and when he returns to AT&T Park. And if Pablo had gone to the LA Dodgers, there would be riots in SF for sure. ••• As to the rioting in Ferguson, many said it was inevitable and triggered by perpetrators sens- ing a miscarriage of justice. Of course hoodlums were just wait- ing for an excuse to burn and pil- lage. Could this happen in Cali- fornia? Yes, in the south, but un- likely in the north. But don't let that fact sway you to vote for se- cession. Separation would involve looting of a different nature. ••• As a reader and writer of obituaries, I was surprised to note a political advisory at the end of a recent obituary in which readers were instructed, in lieu of flowers, to advance the fortunes of the Republican Party by not supporting Presi- dent Obama and so forth. This admonishment from beyond the grave suggests that others, fac- ing their own demise, might in- struct their loved ones to sup- port one party over another as a dying wish. The Daily News tea cup columnist comes to mind. ••• Sources say by 2025, the con- struction industry worldwide will need to build new square footage equivalent to 85% of today's entire residential and commercial stock. Forget the diplomas, buy your kid a ham- mer and a saw for Christmas. ••• All That Jazz paid a visit to the vet last week. "I got clipped" is the way he put it. I think it was more traumatic for the missus and me than for the 14-month- old pup, although we are all now in a recuperation mode. Jazz plants himself about the house in small dark places. I ask him what's the matter and he just looks at me with accu- satory eyes as though it was my fault. I told him we had pres- sure from the family, our fam- ily, to get this task over with, that with his alarming size and aggressive manner, he was a ticking time bomb. However, thinking he was just going to get "tutored," he said during the car ride to the vet's, "If my barking at strangers and my chasing cats is disturbing, I can alter my personality. After all, I am just protecting my turf." How could I answer that? Nuts. Well…yes, nuts. ••• Mr. Smith returned from an extended trip, did not feel well and his doctor scheduled some tests. When he returned to the doctor, the doctor said, "I have some bad news, Mr. Smith. Tests show that you have bu- bonic plague, TB, Legionnaires' disease and Leprosy." The pa- tient slumped in his chair and asked, "What should I do?" "You should enter the hospi- tal immediately and be placed in an isolated room. We will prepare a special diet for you of pancakes and flounder." "What good will that do me?" Mr. Smith asked. "Nothing," replied the doc- tor, "but it's the only thing I can think of that we can shove un- der the door." Robert Minch is a lifelong res- ident of Red Bluff, former col- umnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmur- ray@hotmail.com. I say 3 unlikely events: The dam, the Panda and Ferguson, Mo. Sounding off Alookatwhatreadersaresayingincommentsonourwebsiteandonsocialmedia. InmybriefcareerasatreeclimberIworked on pruning some of the dead wood out of this tree. Had to be late seventies. We weren't allowed to use our climbing hooks so they used a bucket rig to put us up in the tree. It was the most impressive oak tree I have ever seen. Paul Hegji: On the repair of Ide Adobe a er the failure of a giant oak tree, which damaged it I remember Mr. Foey as a substitute teacher we had at Capay School. Didn't realize he was an author — will have to check out his work. Amber Gravitt: On story about the publication of William Wong Foey's short stories Greg Stevens, Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIAL BOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@red bluffdailynews.com Phone: 530-527- 2151ext. 112 Mail to: P.O. Box 220, 545 Diamond Ave., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS Will Durst This holiday isn't about greasing the wheels of capitalism with the fire hose of consumer debt like that other one just down the road. This one is about gluttony. ... So allow me to express my gratitude for the 4th Thursday of November: it's annual appearance being one of the little moments that makes life worth living. Assemblyman Dan Logue 150 Amber Grove Drive, Ste. 154, Chico 95928, 530 895- 4217 Senator Jim Nielsen 2634 Forest Ave., Ste. 110, Chico 95928, 530 879- 7424, senator.nielsen@sen- ate.ca.gov Governor Jerry Brown State Capital Building, Sac- ramento 95814, 916 445- 2841, fax 916 558-3160, governor@governor.ca.gov U.S. Representative Doug LaMalfa 507 Cannon House Office Building, Washington D.C. 20515, 202 225-3076 U.S. Senator Dianne Fein- stein One Post St., Ste. 2450, San Francisco 94104, 415 393- 0707, fax 415 393-0710 U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer 1700 Montgomery St., San Francisco 94111, 510 286- 8537, fax 202 224-0454 Contact your officials Robert Minch OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Friday, November 28, 2014 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A4