Up & Coming Weekly

24 UCW OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2009 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com Remember last week, when I said I haven't needed to sit through a truly crappy movie in weeks and weeks? Clearly, writ- ing that was my first mistake. This movie was not only com- pletely cruddy, it was also more than a little bit sexist and racist. About half way through I was so numbed by the utterly insipid dreck that Vince Vaughn and company try to pass off as a mildly amus- ing date movie that I mentally drifted away from the movie and began daydreaming about where I could find rocks to line my newly spaded gar- den. Seriously, how has this uninspired class- less mess made any money at all, much less achieved a spot in the top five weekend box office? Did Jon Favreau threaten to break some legs? Did the cute chick from The Watchmen offer a kissing booth at select theaters? And do you know who direct- ed? Little R alphie Parker himself, Peter "you'll shoot your eye out" Billingsley from 1983's iconic A Christmas Stor y! When they bal- ance the book of your life, little man, one good movie may not be enough to make up for the offen- sively moronic job you did in actually allowing this movie to be released with your name on it. First of all, the Sex and the City chick needs to find a role that doesn't involve support- ing her neurotic friend who is trapped in a co-dependent rela- tionship. She also needs to find roles in her general age range. Second, Kristen Bell needs to stop picking stupid roles. Third, it is not funny to dress up attrac- tive young women as prostitutes and have them call their MUCH older, entirely goofy looking, boyfriends Daddy. Seriously, who thought that was ok? It's not funny. Fourth, stop letting Favreau and Vaughn indulge their disproportionately huge egos in idiotic vanity projects where they get bizarrely hot wives and women inexpli- cably hanging on them for no particular reason (ok, that is directed more at Favreau than Vaughn). Finally, jokes tend to make more sense when they have a clear context. If you cut out the introduction to the joke, then you have to cut out the punch line too. You're on thin ice Jason Batemen. My love for Arrested Development will only get you so far. Jason (Jason Batemen) and Cynthia (Kristen Bell) are code- pendent Type-A personalities who seem perfectly suited to each other; neverthe- less they are con- cerned about the stability of their marriage. They stalk and harass their clos- est friends until said friends agree to attend a couple's therapeutic retreat with them. The first couple is Dave (Vaughn) and Ronnie (Malin Akerman) who have a dysfunctional rela- tionship rooted in the patriar- chal domination of women and the celebration of unrestrained masculinity. The second couple is Joey (Jon Favreau) and Lucy (Kristen Davis) who are miser- able, yet inexplicably still mar- ried. The final couple consists of the recently divorced Shane (Faizon Love) and his girlfriend Trudy (K ali Hawk). Jean Reno rounds out the cast as the main therapist, although what he is doing in this regrettable mess is beyond me. The only part of this so-called comedy that gave me the slightest moment of laughter was Ken Jeong in a cameo as a couple's therapist talking about dead puppies. No, I'm not proud of myself for finding that funny. But in something this bad, I'll take what I can get. So, to sum up: bad acting, ridiculous concept, foolish plot, angry reviewer. I Really, Really Didn't Like It Couples Retreat (Rated PG) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS Fort Bragg Federal Credit Union's FREE Community Shred Day Do you have sensitive material that needs to be shredded but don't have a shredder? FREE Document Shredding On-Site Saturday, October 24 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM • Up to 4 standard boxes per person • Individuals only; No businesses • Items shredded will be recycled Fort Bragg FCU Parking Lot 1638 Skibo Road Fayetteville, NC For more information contact Fort Bragg Federal Credit Union's Marketing Department at 910.487.8210. ( ( ( 3006 Bragg Boulevard Fayetteville, NC 910-323-1791 YOUR FOOTBALL HEADQUARTERS FOR COLLEGE, HIGH SCHOOL AND RECREATION TEAMS YOUR FOOTBALL HEADQUARTERS FOR COLLEGE, HIGH SCHOOL AND RECREATION TEAMS YOUR FOOTBALL HEADQUARTERS FOR COLLEGE, HIGH SCHOOL AND RECREATION TEAMS YOUR FOOTBALL HEADQUARTERS FOR COLLEGE, HIGH SCHOOL AND RECREATION TEAMS Visit our Hope Mills Location, 5613 Rockfish Road. 910.609.1791

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