Up & Coming Weekly

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2009 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS For Better, Or Much, Much Better I'm 39, and married four years to a woman I dated for two. She's the mother of my two stepchildren, 13 and 16. The problem is, I may be in love with a girl from high school, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I've always felt she was the one I was meant to be with. She was popular, and, well, I was not. Still, I can't honestly say that if I'd asked her out, she'd have said no. I wrote her love letters and sent roses on her birthday, which she called to thank me for. Over the years, I haven't stopped thinking about her, and dream about her frequently. At my high school reunion, I heard she's single. She's my Facebook friend, and I wanted to say hi, but she's never on. Yesterday, my dream about her was so emotional that I nearly woke up in tears. I love my wife, but she's more like my best friend. Should I let this affect my marriage? Could I, should I, pursue the woman of my dreams? —Pining You're seriously wondering whether you should let this "affect" your marriage? Right. "Hey, Honey, it's been real, but I heard from this drunk guy at my reunion that my high school crush is single and hot as ever. No, no... I haven't slept with her. Or seen her. Or spoken with her for 20 years. But, I friended her on Facebook, and I just can't keep denying she's my soul mate after learning she 'had a great workout and is headed out for some yummies and cocktails!!!'" You aren't in love with her; you're in love with being the kind of guy who gets a girl like her. You'll do anything to pretend this could be a reality, like telling yourself you can't honestly say the hot popular girl wouldn't have gone out with you, if only you'd asked. Sure. Just as you can't honestly say your dog won't wake up tomorrow and speak Greek, or that you won't win enough in the lottery this weekend to be able to buy Cuba. Boohoo, are you not completely fulfilled? I'm reminded of a woman — the mother of four young children — who read "Eat, Pray, Love" and informed her husband that she, too, needed to "find herself" (translation: travel to Italy and find herself a hot young Latin lover). Um, wrong. What Married Mommylady needs to find is a better preschool for her 3-year-old. Sorry, but once you have kids, by birth or by marriage, you can't just jump ship because you spotted something glittery in the water. Of course Crushgirl's more appealing than your wife — or any real woman. As a creation of your as-of-yet unmatriculated high school imagination, she never gets her period or PMS. She never wants you to turn off the game or stop bugging her for sex or take out the garbage or shut the hell up already. And, yoohoo, remember those vows you took? I'm guessing they weren't "Do you take this placeholder until the girl you really love Facebooks you back?" This is the life you've chosen, and you can keep clocking out of it or take pride in making it the best you can. Whenever you feel like taking a toke off the high school hottie pipe, go find your wife, brush a little piece of hair from her face, and tell her she's beautiful and how much she means to you. Try that on your crush, and you're effectively confessing, "For 23 years, I've been stalking you in my head." But, hey, with any luck, you can get your divorce decree on the same day as the restraining order. Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Mercury brings favorable infl uences for you in Joint Financial sector. Long term invest- ments should work to your advantage if discussed with professionals. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 Benefi cial period for negotiating contracts with business partners or other relation- ships. New romance for eligibles and nice things for long time marrieds. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. The good reputation you have on the job will bring you lasting benefi ts. But know your limitations and don't try to attain the impossible. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Benefi t from Mercury's new position over the next three weeks in matters of Creative expression, sensible speculation and romantic opportunities. Enjoy! LEO - July 24 thru August 23 Channeling creative abilities into a Home www.enterprise may be the way to realize your potential. three motivating words could increase your income: "Do it now". VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 Harmonious Mercury aspects indicate opportunities prevail in nearby places. Past efforts should pay off now if you personally contact people you've seen before. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Those with ambition should benefi t fi nan- cially as Mercury, planet of adaptability moves thru your Income sector. Promote your talents for more rewards and recognition. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Mental planet Mercury moves into your sign. This is a time to think of what you want to accomplish over the next 12 months. Go for it, the sky's the limit! SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Time to relax, to listen to your intuition. Our subconscious holds the answers to our questions. Anticipate good things, associate with supportive people. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Lucky you! Your sector of Hope plays host to this new position of Mercury. What you are wishing for can come to pass. Think positive. Miracles happen every day! AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 A productive cycle begins as mental planet Mercury moves thru your Career sector. Review your potentials. Rid yourself of the things that may be holding you back. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 2F0 Focus of Mercury will be on Education, Travel and interests in far away places. Seekers of enlightenment know that life is a journey, not a destination. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Love Can Mess You Up: Before Arthur David Horn met his future bride Lynette (a "metaphysical healer") in 1988, he was a tenured professor at Colorado State, with a Ph.D. in anthropology from Yale, teaching a mainstream course in human evolution. With Lynette's guidance (after a revelatory week with her in California's Trinity Mountains, searching for Bigfoot), Horn evolved, himself, resigning from Colorado State and seeking to remedy his inadequate Ivy League education. At a conference in Denver in September, Horn said he now realizes that humans come from an alien race of shape-shifting reptilians that continue to control civilization through the secretive leaders known as the Illuminati. Other panelists in Denver included enthusiasts describing their own experiences with various alien races. [Rocky Mountain Collegian, 9-28-09] Can't Possibly Be True Health Insurance Follies: Blue Shield California twice refused to pay $2,700 emergency room claims by Rosalinda Miran-Ramirez, concluding that it was not a "reasonable" decision for her to go to the ER that morning when she awoke to a shirt saturated with blood from what turned out to be a breast tumor. Only after a KPIX-TV reporter intervened in September did Blue Shield pay the claim. [KPIX-TV, 9-25-09] National Women's Law Center found that the laws of eight states permit insurance companies to deny health coverage to a battered spouse (as a "pre-existing condition," since batterers tend to be recidivists), according to a September report by Kaiser Health News. [MSNBC, 10-7-09] Child "Protection" Caseworkers: In November 2008, the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services returned an infant to her mother's care two weeks after the woman had, according to police, left her in a toilet bowl. (Three months later, following further investigation, the woman was charged with attempted murder, and the baby was taken away.) [Belleville News- Democrat, 9-17-09] Texas child agency caseworkers assigned a low priority (non- "immediate" risk) after a home visit in May in Arlington revealed that a violent, long-troubled mother routinely left three children, ages 6, 5 and 1, home alone all day while she was at work. In September, the 1-year-old was found dead. [Dallas Morning News, 10-2-09] A Title III funded project Rhythm ... Melody ... Harmony ... Improv Saturdays at 6:00 P.M. Every week on JazzSet 91.9 FM Your NPR News and Jazz Station The legends ... Today's top bands ... Promising new talent

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