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Friday, August 12, 2011 – Daily News 5A Meddling mom maligns matron Joint pain has multiple causes Dear Annie: For the past 10 years, my son, now a med- ical student, has dreaded having din- ner with his father. His dad and I sepa- rated more than 20 years ago, and every encounter with the children has includ- ed his father’s wife. She dominates the conversation, makes idiotic comments, talks about how wonderful her four children are and totally excludes my son. She even had the nerve to refer to her children as ‘‘your Dad’s family now.’’ My son was not congrat- ulated for making it into an Ivy League college, getting into medical school or being at the top of his class. His father missed his col- lege graduation party because his wife wanted to go bowling. When we first separated, my son had dinner with his father at least once a week, and he really enjoyed the time they spent together. Now, my son rarely has time alone with his father and finds his wife self-serv- ing and obnoxious. The sad part is, Dad doesn’t have the backbone to leave his wife at home on occasion. All my son wants to do is spend a little quality time with his father. How can I help? — Mother of a Won- derful Son Dear Mom: It is best if your son handles this direct- ly. Urge him to ask his father about having some one-on-one time. If you reg- ularly speak to your ex, you Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar can tell him how much it would mean to your son to have some spe- cial bonding time with Dad. Other than that, however, please stay out of it, and under no circumstances should you repeat any of the unkind things you said about his current wife. Regardless of how you feel or what she may be like, it will not help your son if you (or he) treat her with disdain. Dear Annie: I have a friend with a troubled son. ‘‘Zane’’ is 23, has no job, lives at home and has been in trouble with the law. I believe he has a drinking problem and probably a drug problem, as well. My friend and her hus- band make a comfortable living, drive new cars and have an abundance of luxu- ry items. Several months ago, Zane briefly moved out of his parents’ home and applied for food stamps. He has since moved back, and my friend thinks it is perfectly OK for Zane to continue to receive food stamps. She says it helps pay for his room and board. She even goes shopping with him to make sure he buys what she wants for the house. Should I keep my mouth shut? After all, it is my tax money that is supporting her lazy kid. — Wondering Friend Dear Wondering: We do not know (and neither do you) whether Zane is still Montana. entitled to the food stamps. If you report it to the author- ities as a violation, we guar- antee the friendship is over. Instead, speak to the boy’s mother as the friend you claim to be. Encourage her to get help for her son rather than enabling him and post- poning his ability to handle life’s challenges. In an effort to protect their chil- dren, parents can inadver- tently cripple them. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Crying in Cali- fornia,’’ whose daughter died after a long illness. She was upset that her doctors did not bother to send a con- dolence card. Maybe doctors don’t send condolences because their lawyers tell them not to. In our litigious society, such a note of condolence could be used to convince the grieving family that the doctor feels culpable and should be sued for malprac- tice. — Len in L.A. Dear Len: Actually, the opposite appears to be the case. Doctors who express condolences, including those who apol- ogize, are less likely to be sued than those who are perceived to be too arro- gant to care. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W.Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Bass estimated at 19 years old caught in Mont. KALISPELL, Mont. (AP) — A 10- year-old Montana boy fishing with a rubber worm caught a largemouth bass that state wildlife officials say could be nearly twice as old as he is. Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks biologist Mark Deleray says the large- mouth bass caught and released in a Flathead River slough by Garrett Frost could be as much as 19 years old. Deleray says that may be the old- est largemouth bass on record for The Kalispell boy caught the fish July 16 in Rose Creek Slough. Deleray says the fish was 20 to 22 inches long and weighed about 3.5 pounds. Garrett removed a tag that had been placed on the fish in 1997 before releasing it. Biologists estimate the fish was 5 years old when it was tagged, based on the fact that it was just over 14 inches long and weighed 1.5 pounds. ‘Yard Sale Map’ Updated Thursday afternoon – for weekend Yard Sales! Click on locations for exact addresses and driving directions! ‘ at www.redbluffdailynews.com . Mouse over the red ‘ ’ tab and scroll down to ‘ ’ can be easily accessed from our top menu ’ and click. FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: I’m a 34- year-old male who suffers from severe joint pain. The sharp and sometimes aching pains started in my teenage years and have gradually worsened. At first it was primarily a problem with my shoulders, and even then, only when I had done something to set it off like splitting wood for a few hours. By my mid-20s the pain had spread to other joints, most noticeably my hips. I noticed the pain wasn’t always set off by some extreme event or workout but rather simple tasks. Holding my infant daughter for any length of time would be enough to cause my shoulder to hurt for a day or more. Now I suffer from nearly con- stant pain in my shoulder, hips and knees. My sister and two cousins also suf- fer from this unknown ailment. I and others have been to many specialists over the years. Each visit starts with a plethora of blood work and X-rays. The result is always the same — noth- ing can be found. All tests come back negative for everything from Lyme dis- ease to arthritis. I’m getting desperate now because even at the age of 34, going up and down stairs is becoming difficult and painful. Thinking outside the box, what could possibly be going on? DEAR READER: Common causes of joint pain include autoimmune dis- orders, lupus, Paget’s disease of the bone, hemochromatosis, hypothy- roidism (that can lead to muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness in the shoul- ders and hips), gout, bursitis, bone can- cer, osteomalacia, psoriatic arthritis, scleroderma, or another of the more than 100 different forms of the arthri- tis, as well as tick-borne disorders, including Lyme disease, mixed con- nective tissue disease, infection and injury. Fibromyalgia involves wide- spread pain of muscles and ligaments that also might be considered. This dis- order cannot be confirmed by X-ray or other testing and is almost a diagnosis of exclusion. You don’t indicate specifically what tests you have had, nor did you indi- cate if you are on any medication. While this may appear to be a cop-out, I recommend you make a list of any Dr. Peter Gott medications and supplements you may be on. Obtain copies of all X-rays and laboratory test results. Then make an appointment with a rheumatol- ogist or other super-specialist at a nearby teaching hospital who has a good reputation for dealing with joint pain. While you really need to find out what is going on, there are some forms of pain man- agement in the interim that can help relieve pain and stress. They include chiropractic, water aerobics, massage, acupuncture, yoga and tai chi. Consider topical creams with soothing capsaicin such as Castiva and over-the-counter ibuprofen, naproxen sodium or aspirin. Be sure to eat well, get adequate sleep, and exercise as much as possible without further aggravating your condition. Muscle pain prevents people from functioning normally on a daily basis. Your employment (if you are even well enough to hold down a job), family and all forms of physical exercise are being compromised, and it is time to find out why. Readers who would like related information can order my Health Reports “Fibromyalgia” and “Manag- ing Chronic Pain” by sending a self- addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 U.S. check or money order for each report to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039. Be sure to mention the title(s), or print an order form from my website’s direct link: www.AskDrGottMD.com/order_form. pdf. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. If readers want to contact Dr. Gott, they may write to him at his website, or send their mail directly to Dr. Gott, c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106. However, if readers want to request a newsletter, they should write to the Connecticut address listed above. 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