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2B Daily News – Wednesday, August 3, 2011 Deleterious deadbeat damaging daughter Pain may be result of pinched neck nerve Dear Annie: I married my wife, ‘‘Deb- bie,’’ more than a decade ago. I gen- uinely believe we were brought together by divine providence. The only thing that trou- bles me is our kids — Debbie’s chil- dren from her first marriage. They didn’t get off to a great start — the biological father is a deadbeat dad, philanderer, alcoholic and a repeat-offender criminal. I wish I had been there from the start, but that’s the way it goes. I’ve had a lot of catch- ing up to do. Debbie’s son is terrific — smart, friendly, talented and putting himself through college. The daughter, how- ever, is a walking soap opera. She’s had two kids (one at age 16), several abortions, multiple divorces and broken relationships, and she’s usually strung out on pills and pot. Her current boyfriend is a married man. The oldest granddaugh- ter lives with her father, who married someone else and has built a solid family. The younger granddaughter (age 11) lives with her mother. The kid does all the cook- ing, housekeeping and gro- cery shopping. My step- daughter even tried to get the girl to fake a urine sample for a drug test. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My wife and I are at the end of our rope. We cannot endure anymore of this woman’s drama. We know we can’t fix her, so right now, all we want to do is rescue our granddaughter before her life is ruined. I feel like I’m aiming a squirt gun at a forest fire. How can I help my family? — Stepfather of a Train Wreck Dear Stepfather: Is the father of this child capable of caring for her? If so, you should encourage him to ask for custody. Barring that, you and your wife ought to consider petition- ing for guardianship of your granddaughter. The best way to ‘‘rescue’’ this child is to get her out of her moth- er’s home and into a stable, loving environment. Please make every effort to do so. Dear Annie: My hus- band and I have been together for 25 years, and the entire marriage has con- sisted of his continuous lies about money, gambling and drinking. The latest adven- ture is his obsession with Internet porn and singles websites. We attended counseling FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: I have had a individually and as a couple. He knew these things were ruining our marriage and vowed over and over to change. Instead, he played me. He would change just long enough for me to for- give him. But I have stopped playing his game. We share a house, and that’s about it. Years ago, girly maga- zines were just pictures. Today, there is streaming video of real people who call you by name and can even contact you. After I read the conversations my husband had with other women, any intimacy went out the window. He won- ders now why I had a hard time showing him affection. Guys need to stop and think with their hearts and not their computers, and realize the permanent damage these things can do to a mar- riage. — Over and Out Dear Over: We agree that Internet porn is a huge problem these days, creat- ing intimacy and trust issues in relationships. Your hus- band also has other prob- lems and seems unwilling to work on them. So we have to ask — why are you still with him? Please give some serious thought to your alternatives. burning sensation in the upper part of my left arm for about five or six years. It came and went for a while, and sometimes months passed with- out it happening. Recently the sensa- tion has worsened, and I experience it daily. I have noticed that the burn- ing is similar to that of heartburn but hotter (I have had a lot of heartburn lately). The arm burning lasts only a second or two and feels as if some- one has lit a match in my arm and quickly blown it out. I have also started to have a slight tingling in my left hand and fingers. I have been to two doctors for it, but they are at a loss as to what is causing it. Neither one referred me to a specialist. I have not had any injuries to my arm, shoulder or hand. I do have some arthritis pain in my hand and fingers. Other than vitamins, the only medicine I take is Xalatan for glaucoma. I had the burn- ing long before I found out I had glaucoma. Aside from occasional hot flashes and the glaucoma, I am pretty healthy. I am a 51- year-old black female, premenopausal, 121 pounds and 5 feet 6 inches. Can you please help? DEAR READER: My first thought on reading your letter is nerve impingement, likely from your spine. The nerves of the spinal cord that run through the vertebrae of your neck can often lead to arm tingling, burning and weakness. It can vary from mild to severe, and the sensations may come and go or become chronic. Typically as the impingement worsens, the pain or weakness worsens, and each episode lasts longer or becomes persistent. Over time, if left untreated, permanent damage may result. Dr. Peter Gott Another possibility is your Xalatan. Chest pain, angina, and muscle/joint and back pain are known side effects. Chest pain can often be confused with heartburn and can radiate to the arm. But I think this is unlikely in your case. Heart problems can also result in chest, arm and hand pain. This commonly occurs on the left side and can resemble a muscle ache or heartburn. If you have a strong family or personal history of heart trouble, particularly if combined with hypertension and/or high cholesterol, this may be a possibility. The most likely cause is coming from your neck or back. You already have arthri- tis in your hands, so you may also have it in your spine as well. Arthritis, aging, and/or degenerative changes to the spine can easily explain your symptoms. Return to your physician to discuss this possibility and request further testing, such as an X-ray, CT scan or MRI. Blood work should also be ordered if you haven’t had any recently. Depending on the results of your blood work and imaging tests, seeing a neurologist (nerve and brain specialist), orthopedist (bone and joint specialist) or cardiologist (heart specialist) may be benefi- cial to determine the cause of you burning arm and to provide appropriate treatment. Readers who are interested in learning more can order my Health Report “Manag- ing Chronic Pain” by sending a self- addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 U.S. check or money order to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039. Be sure to mention the title, or print an order form from my website’s direct link: www.AskDrGottMD.com/order_form.pdf. 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