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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ihavebeen married for almost 10 years and have caught my husband with various forms of pornography. Recently I found out he has been getting erotic massages and calling "fantasy" phone lines. I'm devastated because he has betrayed my trust and our wedding vows. I say he is cheating; he says he's done noth- ing wrong. I overheard him telling his buddy, "I'm just a guy." Who's right? Do you think the marriage is salvageable? —DistraughtWife DEAR DISTRAUGHT » When it comes to this kind of behavior and the way it makes you feel, does it really matter who is "right"? (Hint: You get to define the boundaries of the marriage you want to be in.) Your husband's charac- terization of his activities as just being "a guy" is an insult not only to you but to guys in general. Most married guys don't do this, but the ones who do want to normalize it. Generally, when some- one goes from viewing pornography to seeking contact through erotic phone services and then on to receiving erotic massages, it's a sign that his sexual behavior is escalating. You should ask your husband how he de- fines "cheating," try your utmost to have a frank and honest conversation about this and get tested for STDs. DEAR AMY » My husband and I have been married for 25 years, and we have a wonderful son who is 20. My husband has two adult children from a pre- vious marriage, and we have six grandchildren. Through the years I have worked hard to host family gatherings for all holidays and birthdays. We also take the grand- children out for special events. My problem is that I have become the go-to girl for Christmas each year, and I am now feel- ing obligated to host all the time. I'm getting tired. No one else steps up to invite us to share Christmas at their home. In fact, we don't get invited to their homes for any occasion. I feel resentful. In my professional life, that is the time of year that demands the most of me. I'm so tired and cranky by the time I get that turkey on the table that I no longer enjoy it. I love my family, but now I need some of the responsibility of hosting to go to others. How do I get this across? — Already Stressed DEAR ALREADY » You can write your own ticket to freedom from this stress, and you can do it before they put the Halloween candy on display at Wal- greens (I realize this hap- pened in July, but you get my drift). You need to arm yourself with a firm but friendly attitude, the cer- tainty that you are doing the right thing (for you) and the understanding that people in your life (including, perhaps, your husband) will likely react poorly. You need only anticipate and tolerate. Husband's inappropriate habit puts marriage at risk You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribune.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Virgo(Aug.23-Sept.22)— Don't be hard on yourself. You may have made some question- able choices, but you shouldn't second-guess your next move. Trust your intuition. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Donate your time to commu- nity events, causes or activi- ties. New acquaintances and old friends will influence the changes that take place. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Consider a different venue for something you're planning. Overspending could obviate any gain, so be practical. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — A positive outlook and strong work ethic will put you in a position to make favorable changes. Put forth the effort to share your ideas. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Your self-esteem may be low if you have been beating your- self up over past disappoint- ments. Give yourself a break. You have the energy to outma- neuver your opponents. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Consider the steps neces- sary to realize the future you are seeking. You have the ability, so make a serious effort to take one step closer to your goals. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Your judgment may be clouded today. If you are feeling upset over a recent dispute, you should slow down and take a deep breath. Rushing through the events of the day will cause unnecessary setbacks. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Emotional complications will preoccupy you today. Make an effort to face head-on the is- sues that arise. Overindulgence will not fix the problem; it will only make matters worse. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You will feel satisfaction if you catch up on your chores. Reorganize or rethink what will really make you feel happy and content. A garage sale will help you simplify your life. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — You will gravitate to the fast lane today. Social activities and group events will fill your sched- ule and bring pleasing results. Trust in your skill, knowledge and ability to communicate. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Stay out of the limelight today. Listen and learn while keeping a low profile. You may discover some enlightening facts that have eluded you in the past. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You have knowledge and insight into what others desire. Your willingness to make a positive difference in the lives of people experiencing difficulties will boost your self-esteem and reputation. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, SEPT. 16 TUESDAY,SEPTEMBER16,2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B