Up & Coming Weekly

OCTOBER 21-27, 2009 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Sleeping Booty My girlfriend snooped through my belongings and e-mail and even searched web forums for my comments. I feel terribly violated. I'm 29, she's 37, and we've been together for two years. I've never given her any reason to distrust me, but because we've only been having sex once a month as of recently, she assumes I'm cheating. Well, both of my parents died six months ago (both were terminally ill), and I couldn't care less about sex. Before they died, I took a six-month leave of absence and moved across the country to care for them, and my girlfriend quit her job and came with me. Since we returned, she's been unable to find a job or rebuild her social life. I get that she's unhappy, but she keeps bringing up her suspicion, and I keep explaining that I'm not cheating; I'm in deep mourning. I just don't know how I can ever trust her again, let alone respect her. --Laid Flat There are telltale signs a partner is cheating: a sudden obsessive attention to appearance, newfound enthusiasm for working late, and dancing little jigs around the house when they think nobody's looking. Then there's all that stuff your girlfriend has on you — the lethargy, the lack of motivation to wash, and the fact that you've inexplicably come up with a new favorite sexual position: curling up in a ball and weeping uncontrollably. How terrible for your girlfriend that these inconvenient tragedies have removed the spotlight she expects to have on her and her needs 24/7. Apparently, in her eyes, it's "Yeah, so both your parents died, and after you nursed them through their suffering for six months. I mean, it's nothing really horrible, like if your favorite TV show were canceled or Ben & Jerry's stopped making Chunky Monkey." She'd be there for you, really she would, if only she wasn't so busy scanning your browser history to see where you've been. Her lack of empathy suggests she never got her act together enough as an individual to be able to be a partner. Sure, she came along with you — but was it because she loves you, or because she feels like nobody without you? Chances are, she's a 37-year-old woman with a teen-girl orientation toward relationships: "I'm pretty, so guys should like me." (Why go through all that sweaty, ugly business of becoming somebody when you can just become somebody's girlfriend?) It's easy to come off as loving when life is all hot sex and free beer and bar snacks. Actual loving is something you do. It's putting your own needs on pause and spending six months scooping the grieving boyfriend off the kitchen floor. Yeah, we all have insecurities and are capable of reading volumes into something that means nothing. You resolve this sort of thing by asking your partner what the deal is. And then, if he has no history of cheating and both of his parents just died, you probably manage to believe him. Ironically, your girlfriend went all Nancy Drew on you, but you ended up making the disturbing discovery — that you're with a woman who doesn't get you, doesn't appreciate you, and probably never loved you like you thought she did. You're a good guy, the kind women all tell their friends they're looking for. It shouldn't be hard to find a girlfriend who'd express genuine concern for your well-being at a time like this — beyond "Hey, how much longer is my booty machine gonna be broken?" Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Favorable vibrations with your signifi cant other. Also for signing contracts. In all transactions you should be able to make successful agreements. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 New Moon indicates opportunity is knock- ing. Offers over the next few weeks may giveyou the diversion you need to plan for amore fulfi lling future. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. A good time to express the creative side of your nature. The planets are in their proper places for those seeking new romantic relationships. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Domestic improvements are favored as the New Moon moves thru your Home sector. Also a good time to launch a business from your abode. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 There's no rest for the weary as energetic Mars moves through your sun sign. New Moon joins planet of action which could require you to act on new decisions. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 Virgo's who adopt a more positive ap- proach in promoting their special talents and abilities will be better able to profi t from today's new opportunities. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Your sign plays host to this weeks New Moon. Ambitions well directed in personal or career projects should be met with ap- proval from others. Promote what you do best. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 It's Happy Birthday season as the Sun moves into your sign. Look ahead to a new cycle of opportunities. A new cycle is at hand to expand your horizons. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Problems have solutions! For best advice, sleep on them and trust your intuition. New opportunities are present for those who seek them. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Career matters should become easier next 4 weeks as the New Moon moves thru your Professional sector. Changes to your liking should be simpler to obtain. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Connections made in distant places could open new doors of opportunity. You know very well what is right for you. Stick to your beliefs. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 20 Give more consideration to your talents. Travel in connection with your job could bring new opportunities. A refresher course keeps you in tune with changing times. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Beneath the luxury hotels on the Las Vegas Strip is a series of fl ood tunnels that are home to dozens of people who work odd jobs such as hustling leftover change in casino slot machines. A correspondent for London's The Sun gained the trust of a few and even photographed their "apartments" for a September dispatch, showing well-stocked quarters, with scrounged appliances and furniture and even one makeshift shower rigged from a water cooler. "Amy," who has lived in the tunnels with her husband, "J.R.," for two years, said she "love(s)" the Vegas lifestyle and appears in no hurry to leave her setup. "Kathryn" (who lives with boyfriend "Steven") also appears content except, she says, for the fragrance, the black widow spiders, and the periodic rush of water through their home (threatening any "valuables" not stacked on crates). [The Sun, 9-24-09] Latest Religious Messages David Cerullo came to prominence after purchasing the television studios abandoned by Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker and established what is perhaps the boldest of all Christian "prosperity gospel" ministries (that pays him an annual base salary of $1.52 million). With his father, semi-retired Pentecostal preacher Morris Cerullo, they assure followers that the more they give, the more God will return to them. In a recent TV spot, Morris, speaking fi rst in tongues and then addressing the currently credit-challenged: "When you (donate), the windows of heaven ... open for you ... 100 fold." "Debt cancellation!" (The on-screen message: "Call now with your $900 offering and receive God's debt cancellation!") [Charlotte Observer, 5-23-09] In September, a judge in Stuart, Fla., was about to sentence pastor Rodney McGill for real estate fraud, but McGill was undaunted, addressing a courtroom prayer for his enemies: "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, for every witness called against me, I pray cancer in their lives, lupus, brain tumor, pancreatic cancer." The judge then sentenced him to 20 years in prison. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 9-9-09] Questionable Judgments: The cheap-drink Tuesday night special at the Attic bar in Newcastle, England, in early September was a money-back guarantee at the end of the night to anyone who could still legally drive (measured by the bar's breathalyzer), with the evening's most-alcohol-saturated customer drinking free the following week. The Newcastle City Council soon convinced the bar it was a bad idea. [The Mail, 9-9-09] 8FEOJHIUQSJDFCPUUMFPGXJOFt5VFTOJHIUNBSUJOJT )BJM'BSFXFMMTt$BMMGPS3FTFSWBUJPOTt8F$BUFS )BZ4U )JTUPSJD%PXOUPXO 678-8885 3BNTFZ4U /FYUUP.FUIPEJTU6OJWFSTJUZ 822-3590 0XOFS 0QFSBUFE Voted Fayetteville's Best Overall Restaurant Voted Fayetteville's Best Overall Restaurant Authentic Italian Cuisine Brick Fired NY Pizza Pierro's Late Night Patio Fri & Sat 10:30pm to 2:30 am

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