Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD In Chinese legend, tea leaves picked by fairies using not their hands but just their mouths yielded brewed tea that would bring prosperity and cure diseases, and now the historic, picturesque Jiuhua Mountain Tea Plantation (in Gushi, Henan province) has promised to hire up to 10 female virgins to provide the equivalently pure and delicate tea leaves, picked with the teeth and dropped into small baskets worn around the women’s necks. According to an April report in London’s Daily Mail, only virgins with strong necks and lips (and a bra size of C-cup or larger), and without visible scars or blemishes, will be considered for the equivalent-$80- a-day jobs (an almost unheard-of salary in China, especially for agricultural field work). [Daily Mail, 4-21-2011] NOTE: Last month, News of the Weird reminded readers, with examples, that bizarre human adventures repeat themselves again and again. Here are a few more recent selections of previous themes: News of the Weird has reported several times on the confusion many art gallery visitors reveal in evaluating “abstract impressionist” pieces when they compare them to random scribblings of toddlers (and animals, such as chimpanzees and elephants). In April, academic researchers at Boston College reported that, indeed, gallery patrons correctly differentiated serious works from squiggles only about 60 percent to 70 percent of the time. Commented one survey subject, apparently realizing his confusion: “The chimpanzee’s stuff is good. I like how he plays with metaphors about depth of field, but I think I like this guy (Mark) Rothko a little bit better.” [Richmond Times-Dispatch, 4-5-2011] The powerful suction of swimming pool filters can trap not only toddlers against the drain but a grown man in excellent physical condition, according to a lawsuit filed in May by the family of the late John Hoy Jr., who drowned when unable to pry himself loose from the vacuum drain of a hot tub at the Sandals resort in Nassau, Bahamas, in 2010. (The most notorious drain-pegging of all time was perhaps a 1994 incident at a Scottish Inn motel in Lakeland, Fla., when a 33-year-old guest’s penis became stuck in the drain, apparently as he was testing the filter’s suction. That story did not appear in News of the Weird, but several sources cite a July 1994 story in the Sarasota Herald Tribune.) [Courthouse News Service, 5-16-2011] British welfare benefits are being reduced in two years, but for now, work- shunning parents who blithely navigate a series of government “support” payments can make a nice living for themselves. Kathy Black, 45, of East Hanningfield, Essex, with 16 children by six fathers thus qualifies for the equivalent of at least $1,000 a week (the take-home pay of someone earning the equivalent of $68,000 a year), and child support from one of the fathers adds even more to her account. Black’s second husband, her 17-year-old son and her 22-year-old daughter spilled secrets of her irresponsibility to a Daily Mail reporter in February. [Daily Mail, 2-25-2011] COPYRIGHT 2010 CHUCK SHEPHERD 22 UCW JUNE 22-28, 2011 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19) You constantly make sales “pitches” without thinking too much about it. The purpose of your pitch may not be profound, but the charming way you put things across is an art form. And you’ll close the deal more often than not this week. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Mistakes are a part of life, and things would get pretty boring if you never made any. The mistakes you don’t want to make are the kind you’ve already made. This week will bring one or two happy accidents. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) This week you’ll be tempted often by commercial appeals. Ev- eryone seems to have some valuable informa- tion or product for you that you can only get for high dollar. Most of it is unnecessary. CANCER (June 22-July 22) It’s no fun getting your way all the time. There’s no challenge in it. Also, you have to take full responsibility for the way things turn out, and it’s not always good. Anyway, you like to compromise, and you’ll be doing plenty of that. Luckily, you’ll be well matched, and the others will offer excellent input. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You are learning how to live in the moment, and you are increasingly present to all that’s going on around you. You may forget details of your past — like the name of a classmate or colleague — and you’ll have to do some fancy footwork to cover this up or fi ll in the blanks. It’s only because your current life is so compelling. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Communication errors could cause unnecessary strife. But this can be easily avoided! Some people in your life are prone to making wrong assumptions or not listening very well. You know who they are and should watch out for them this week. ADVICE GODDESS The Princess and the Pee LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) It takes confi dence to give a fantastic compliment, and you’re about as confi dent as they come this week. You’ll offer up words of praise to one who is either in competition with you or in charge of you. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) You’re excited about what you’ve learned, you’re eager to ap- ply it, and you want to share it with others, as well. Once you establish yourself as an expert on a topic, people will ask you any number of questions about it. Prepare for the onslaught. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You are amazingly versatile and could probably fi nd common ground with a Martian. Resist trying to do so in every situation. You don’t have to be constantly agreeable, especially when you’re fl irting. Sometimes the best rapport is built by recognizing your differences. The tension will be exciting. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) There will be some thoughtlessness or rudeness to tolerate. It’s easier to be graceful when your coping resources are not already stretched. Carve out some time to relax. A stroke of good luck comes on Thursday. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) As a humani- tarian, you see the good in people, even when their actions are not refl ecting it. This week it will benefi t you to distinguish between the decent but temporarily inept and the truly toxic individuals. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Attraction be- tween people just happens naturally sometimes. This week you have to make it happen. Wheth- er your aim is professional or personal, this is no time for coy attitudes and subtle moves. Show your interest, or the people around you will assume you don’t have any. By Holiday Mathis Free Admission. Free Music. Free Fun. My fi ance’s been treating me badly for a while. When I’m at his place, I spend most of my time watching him play video games and drink beer until he’s ready for sex or he passes out. He calls me “insecure” and says “get over it” if I bring up anything controversial, like when I noticed the box of condoms we’d just bought was suddenly short one. (There’s other evidence suggest- ing he’s cheating.) He’s also developed the nasty habit of peeing into two-liter bottles and leaving them around until they’re full. He isn’t good for me in many ways, but I love him and don’t want to devastate him by ending our engagement. While I need that feeling of having someone whose feet I can fi nd with mine under the blankets, I’m a seize-the-day kind of person, and whether or not he’s cheating, he’s still passing out on his couch, and I’m lonely. — Sad Fiancee June 25th, 2011 2:30 PM - 11:00 PM Bring a cha Live aiir & enjjoy oy 2 Sta ve Entertainment! The Too Tight Band | The Mullets | The Catalinas | Gabbie Rae Conway’s Superstars | Dino’s School of Rock | Red White & Bluegrass Carl’s Father & Son Young Musicians Camp | Reagan Hill & Connor Singleton Golf Cart Parade 2:30PM River Raft Race 4PM Boat Parade 6PM Fireworks 9:30PM Artisan’s Market Grand Strand Corvette Car Show Business Expo Kids Zone Senior Hospitality Area Food & More!! Presented by: An Event of the Conway Chamber of Commerce www.ConwaySCChamber.com/Riverfest No coolers allowed. No pets other than Service Animals allowed. tages of The water conservation-minded have that saying, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow,” but they mean in the toilet bowl, not in the living room. (When’s the last time you walked into Crate&Barrel and saw two-liter bottles of urine on the Ainsworth Cognac Bookcase next to an antique typewriter and a bowl of seashells?) Your fi ance is acting like you don’t exist in his life — except on nights when he manages to stay conscious long enough to put down one joystick and order you to hop on the other. Oh, and by the way, that condom isn’t missing. It’s on vacation. You’d know that if you weren’t so pathetically insecure. If this is how he acts before marriage, imagine what you’ll be saying after the honeymoon phase ends: “You never blatantly ignore me, treat me like an idiot, and just use me for sex like you used to.” Still, you aren’t without standards. You say you need a partner whose feet you can fi nd with yours under the blankets, which rules out any degrading and dismissive jerks who also happen to be double amputees. As for being a “seize-the-day kind of person,” you don’t mention which day you plan on seizing, but apparently, it’s one far into the future. You claim to love this guy, but maybe what you really love is not admitting you’re engaged to a lost cause. You worry that you’d “devastate” him by ending your engagement (assuming you could get his attention before he passed out playing Grand Theft Your Dignity). Just wondering: While you’re busy caring about his feelings, who’s caring about yours? Amy Alkon Going limp in the face of confrontation sets you up to have a cheating fi ance who’s decorating the house with a week of his urine. If you refused to put up with a lack of respect, you’d either get treated with respect or get out of any relationship where disrespect is the main theme. You might end up alone — maybe for a while — but that’s got to be less lonely than being engaged to a man who not only refuses to go the extra mile for you but won’t even go those extra 12 steps to the bathroom. Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM