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6B Daily News – Monday, June 13, 2011 Verbal venom vexes victim Dear Annie: I’m a 66-year-old mother of two, grandmother of four. I have been ver- bally abused my entire life — first by my father and now by my daughter. I love my daughter, but I’m ready to dis- miss her from my life in order to preserve what sanity I have left. I am afraid to be in the same room with her because I never know what will set her off. The problem, of course, is her chil- dren. I have a wonderful relationship with both of my grandchildren and want it to continue. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I am seeing a therapist who is help- ful, but 45 minutes a week is not enough. My husband is supportive, but refuses to stand up to our daughter on my behalf. Naturally, she has never said an unkind word to him. I am extremely depressed and at my wits’ end. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. — Texas Mother Dear Texas: Since you want to maintain a relationship with the grand- children, please talk to your therapist about working on your response to your daughter’s verbal attacks. If you can learn to distance yourself emotionally (and physically) from what comes out of her mouth, it will hurt less and you won’t be as agitated. Her abuse is not your fault. Standing up for yourself doesn’t have to mean getting into an argument. It sometimes means remov- ing yourself from the drama so you can no longer be a target. Practice saying, calmly, ‘‘I’m sorry you feel that way,’’ or ‘‘I’ll come back when you’re better.’’ If she rants in frustration, so be it. Dear Annie: My 18-year-old son, ‘‘Jack,’’ refuses to brush his teeth. My husband and I taught our children the value of good dental hygiene, but Jack says it’s a waste of time. Each year, he brushed less and less until he simply stopped. And forget about flossing. Jack has regular dental checkups and has had some minor problems, such as gingivitis and cavities, which we have paid to treat. Now he is starting college. The dentist wants to see him every three months in order to keep his teeth clean and his gums healthy, but our insurance won’t pay for that many trips. I’m tired of paying for extra visits and treatments because Jack refuses to do something as simple as brushing. He is obviously old enough to understand the consequences. Should I stop paying for his dental care? What do you think? — Fed-Up Mom Dear Mom: As long as Jack remains on your insurance, he is covered for two visits a year. Beyond that, it’s his responsibility. If he refuses to brush and won’t schedule additional cleanings, he will eventually learn the consequences of poor dental hygiene. Let’s hope he becomes interested in someone who refuses to kiss him unless he brushes his teeth. That would take care of it. Dear Annie: You often suggest to the newly single or widowed that they seek a social or church group in an effort to make friends and meet new people. May I offer an additional sug- gestion? Sweet Adelines International is one of the largest singing organizations for women in the world, specifically in the barbershop style. There are choruses all over the U.S. (and the world), and we are always open to new members. You do not need to be a great singer or have a musical background to join. Aside from the musical education and opportunity to perform, women develop confidence and receive count- less social benefits — a built-in bunch of friends of all ages who share their lives and support one another. More information is available at sweetade- lineintl.org. (The men’s organization is the Barbershop Harmony Society at barbershop.org.) — Red Rose City Chorus, Lancaster, Pa. Dear Lancaster: Thanks for a won- derful, fun suggestion. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. OH, Beautiful, For Spacious Skies …. A Tehama County Celebration of Independence Day Weekend, 2011 Advertising Reservations Deadline: Wednesday, June 22 Published with the full run of the Daily News on Friday, July 1 Plus 1,000 extra copies for local freestanding distribution! A compendium of events across the region honoring the birth of our nation and the freedoms we enjoy, which make us the greatest nation in the world. Fireworks Displays when and where, from Butte and Glenn Counties, Tehama and Shasta Counties Parades Public Events and Festivals Everything 4th of July happening July 1 through 4 in the North State, all in one publication. Full Page Size American Flag/Poster to Display In Your Window All Weekend! Winning Essays from the Daily News’ patriotic Essay Contest This year’s theme: “What Makes America Unique as a Nation?” Call your Daily News Advertising Representative TODAY! D NEWSAILY (530) 527-2151 RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY