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4A Daily News – Friday, June 10, 2011 Opinion D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Hurry up and misstate I’m happy to see a trickle of essays coming into the office for our “What makes America unique as a nation” essay contest leading up to July 4. Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. Letter policy The Daily News welcomes let- ters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All let- ters must be signed and pro- vide the writer’s home street address and home phone num- ber. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submit- ted will be considered for publi- cation. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong com- munity newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehi- cles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its com- munities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the resi- dents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 I wrote about it in this space last week, from Mon- tana, and placed a notice on the front page of Wednesday’s edition. Unfortunately, the latter was done in a bit of haste and I miscalculated the due date. One of the things I enjoy most about my job is that every day is different. Nobody knows what the news will be when entering the building, but I do know that by the end of the night we’ll have another edition out the door. And then we’ll start it all over again the next day. While we do plan ahead for special projects, our main product, your Daily News, is created anew six days each week. Do this for a few years and quickly turning around projects becomes a habit, and a skill. Looking at the calendar, I noted the Fourth of July falls on Monday this year. We would need the essays in and read in time for the winners to grace the front page of that day’s paper. So I set the dead- line for 5 p.m. Friday, July 1, leaving myself the weekend to go over the entries — a habit, and a skill. Problem is, many essays that warrant honorable men- tions will be published in a special section due at the printer June 29 and inserting in your Daily News Friday, July 1. Short of cobbling together a time machine between now and then, I’ve had to reset the deadline to 5 p.m. Monday, June 27. That still leaves more than two full weeks for composition, but I apologize for the confusion. On the plus side, we’re looking for- ward to the new insert, which is planned to include a full page fold-out American Flag you may post in your window over the weekend and infor- mation about all Fourth of July events — fireworks, parades, festivals, etc. — in the region. *** You may have heard mur- muring about a Murder Mys- tery play scheduled for Friday and Saturday, June 17-18, at the Elks Lodge in Red Bluff. I have inside infor- mation that it will be a hilarious evening full of fun, food and more than a little folly. Tickets are going Chip Thompson 545 Diamond Ave. Chip fast, so call the Red Bluff-Tehama Coun- ty Chamber of Com- merce at 527-6220 or stop by during business hours at the office at the entrance to River Park before it sells out. Thompson can be reached at 527-2151, Ext. 112, or by e-mail at editor@redbluff- dailynews.com. Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Jim Nielsen (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 6031 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 319-2002; Fax (916) 319-2102 STATE SENATOR — Doug LaMalfa (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 3070 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 651-4004; Fax (916) 445-7750 GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 558-3160; E-mail: gover- nor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Wally Herger (R), 2635 Forest Ave. Ste. 100, Chico, CA 95928; 893-8363. U.S.SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 393-0710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (415) 403-0100. Fax (202) 224- 0454. Pass the pancakes please Commentary My culinary skills only come to light on Sunday mornings when I make sourdough pancakes or waffles. This is conducted early in the morn while the missus sleeps. It is my objective to complete my task, stack all bowls and utensils in the dishwasher and have the kitchen spic and span prior to her arising. However, last Sunday she arose early and caught me preparing my mix. She observed how I poured my batch of starter sourdough in a large bowl, added flour and water, saved some starter for next weekend, then added a dollop of milk, egg yolks, sugar and a table- spoon of vegetable oil. So far, so good, but when I added a slurry of salt, baking soda and water to the mix, and began to fold it in, she asked, “Why do you fold it in?” “I have always folded it in as instructed by an Eskimo squaw when we were sta- tioned in Alaska during the Korean Con- flict,” I remonstrated. “As you recall, I was with you in Alaska and no such conversation passed between you and any Alaskan squaw.” “That’s the way I remember it,.” I replied sullenly. “Remember away, but there is no reason to fold the slurry into the mix. It serves no purpose to fold. You can fold in beaten egg whites if you like, but not salt, baking soda and water. It will rise of its own accord with- out folding.” With that, I rose of my own accord and suggested she take her cup of coffee to the swing on the north patio, sit in the warm early morning sunshine, and contemplate how fortunate she is to have married a chef. * * * Sources say, to be optimistic in life, one must mentally time travel. If we cannot see an acceptable future, we will succumb to despair over the prospect of our eventual death. This is where organized religion steps in with the concept of “everlasting life.” To make progress in life we need to imagine better alternative realities and believe we can achieve them. Hence the expression, “If I think I can, I can.” Such faith allows us to pursue our goals. Whereas optimists are not more likely to divorce, they are more likely to remar- ry…which is, as Samuel Johnson wrote, “…a triumph of hope over experience.” And the same sources say that people perceive adverse events more posi- tively if they had experi- enced them in the past…which illustrates my favorite motto: “That which does not destroy me makes me stronger.” * * * The medical term describing a sound in a chest heard with a stetho- scope is “crepitus.” It is also alleged to be the Roman god of flatulence. Sources say this god was unlikely to be ever wor- shipped. I should hope so. A ceremony of this nature would be filled with…well, nothing as uplifting as song, for example. * * * 5 brothers, Ernest was the one who was a partner in Stoll’s Auto, that Floyd Adams and his wife Marylou were proprietors of “Floyd’s Creamery” Jolene thought Al Hornbeck started Horn- beck’s Printing. So did I, but Hurley Barber checked with Al’s son Bill, and it was Walter who got the business rolling. Robert Minch I Say Speaking of worship, the First Baptist Church of Red Bluff recently celebrated 150 years in business. I assume the Second Bap- tist Church, if there is any, will do likewise and attain such a lofty perch anon. However, in the DN article by Andrea Wagner, men- tion was given to attendees who were invit- ed to play the church’s beautiful grand piano...but no mention was given the donor of same. That would be the late and equally beautiful Evelyn Minch. * * * Last week’s quiz: Constant reader L. Brown, while researching the quiz, came across this dandy little article in the New York Times: “Lassen’s Peak Boils Over.” (Dateline Red Bluff, California, June 12, 1914) “Lassen’s Peak sent up a tremendous column of steam, smoke, ash and rock this afternoon. The debris descending covered the whole upper part of the mountain with mud and stones. A party of eight men was on the Peak at the time and grave fears are felt for the safety of six of them. Two had turned back at the base of the main peak and are now safe at Mineral.” The party included Walter Stoll, the sub- ject of last week’s quiz, which was answered by a plethora of people, first being J. Kemen, who knew that although Walter had As an aside, years ago, Al had two good looking blonde daughters... neither of which gave me the time of day. This week’s quiz: What was the original name of the Mets baseball team, where was Gertrude Stein born, where did she live most of her life...and did she ever return to the U.S.? * * * Cousin B. Kelsey wonders what hair color the DMV puts on bald men’s drivers licenses...and why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver mail? I told him I did not know. And his wife B. Kelsey, forwarded an Internet list indicating why it is good to be a woman. “Taxis stop for us, we don’t look like a frog in a blender when we dance, we don’t have to pass gas to amuse our- selves...and we can congratulate our team- mate without ever touching her rear end.” * * * A teacher assigned an essay to her fifth grade class. She said, “Your essay must touch upon four subjects: Sex, Monarchy, Religion and Mystery. You may now begin.” Bobby, as always, was the first to finish. With rising eyebrows the teacher read his essay: “Someone impregnated the Queen! Oh my God! Who was it?” Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff and former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine. He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.