Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/335597
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»Five years ago, my mother became unable to con- tinue living alone, so she came to live with me, my husband and two young children. As she physically declined, she paid for upgrades to our home that allowed her to stay with us longer. However, in the last year she began to fail and I was diag- nosed with a chronic illness, so we made the difficult decision for her to move into assisted living. Now, my mother- in-law is unable live to alone. Unbeknownst to us, my husband's sisters put her house on the market and told her, since we have a "senior-citizen- ready" house, she would live with us! To his credit, my husband said this was not going to happen due to my health issues; he travels for his job and the primary responsibility for her care would fall to me. His sisters' response was to call us "selfish" and state that caring for their mother does not suit their lifestyles since they are raising young fami- lies. They won't speak to us. My mother-in-law told my husband she is "hurt beyond words" that we will not do for her what we did for my mother. How do we handle this? —Selfish? DEAR SELFISH? » Either you cave, and pay dearly for it, or stand tall — and pay dearly for it. These steep conse- quences are the meager leavings that you and your husband get to dis- cuss and manage. Even then, you've already decided the con- sequences to your health ru le out caregi ving; th at seems rock-solid to me, except perhaps if turning away your mother-in-law meant consigning her to th e st ree ts. The consequences of your other choice — stick- ing to "no" — are largely in your in-laws' hands, si nc e silent trea tments cut your options nearly to nil. Your husband can certainly write each sister a he ar tf el t, n o n- a n gr y le t- ter — restating that your health precludes caregiv- ing; that he stands ready to help however else he can; that he knows firsthand how difficult a time they're all facing, Mom especially; that their volunteering him with- out asking first, and now shunning him, mystifies him and breaks his heart. Which brings us to your mother-in-law, your only real opportunity to "handle this," since she, apparently, will speak. So speak he must: "Of course you're hurt — I un- derstand. [Wife's] health simply won't allow this, though. I'm stunned and saddened you were told otherwise without my knowledge. "But that doesn't change the fact that we need a Plan B. Are you ready to discuss one, Mom, or do you need time to think?" You have a right to be firm. To stand out in this crowd, though, you appar- ently need to be kind. Sisters volunteer brother and wife to care for aging mother Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Cancer(June21-July22) — Get at least two points of view. You could lose out on an opportunity if you are too quick to accept the first opinion that comes along. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You have great ideas, but you may find your estimates way off target. Make a realistic outline to determine your budget. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Your ideas will not go over well with everyone. Be prepared to defend your actions and prove your methods to all opponents. Don't hesitate. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Travel and learning experiences will go hand-in-hand today. Life-altering changes can be made if you are open to new and untraditional concepts. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Get serious about your financial situation. You can make the most of your future by building a solid base. Go back to the drawing board and find new ways to bring in more cash. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Don't use past problems as an excuse for current dif- ficulties. What's done is done, so face the facts and deal with whatever is holding you back. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You will have to protect your reputation and your assets. Be wary of someone who tries to take advantage of your good will. Charity begins at home. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — It's a great day to spice up your life. Spend time shop- ping for something that will make you feel and look good. A little confidence can go a long way. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Problems with a personal or professional partner will escalate if left to fester. Make the first move by being honest and direct about your feelings or concerns. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Love and romance should highlight your day. You will receive some compelling new information that will help you make an important, life-chang- ing decision. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Don't spend a lot of money on over-the-counter enhancement products. A confident air and a pleasing disposition will get you further ahead than anything you can buy. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — If you don't have a full grasp of what is going on, ask someone who does. Trying to guess your way into or out of a situation will get you nowhere. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25 WEDNESDAY,JUNE25,2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B