Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/331028
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»Mywife had our baby last week and asked that I take two weeks of vacation to help her get into a routine. But she also invited her mom to stay with us for the baby's first month. My mother-in-law is a pro at this stuff and I really ap- preciate the help. But I feel superflu- ous around my own house, if not downright in the way. I'm not sure it makes sense for me to stay home for another week, but I worry that mentioning this to my wife will make her think I'm being unsupportive. —NewParent DEAR NEW PARENT » You're on to the right problem, but I urge a dif- ferent solution. Explain to your wife that you feel superfluous with her mom around because she's such a pro ... and that you'd like to ask Grandma to step aside, to allow you to learn by doing while you have the benefit of her safety net. She'll have the follow- ing two weeks when you're back at work to get her fill. At the risk of making too much of this: If your reaction to feeling super- fluous to your child's care is to go back to work (or run errands or whatever else), then you're taking the first steps toward detachment from your marriage and child. It's a well-worn path. Get in there. Set that precedent. If grandma doesn't take it well, then it's better to do damage control with her than start a bad pattern in your own family. DEAR CAROLYN » Re: New Dad: He should go back to work now, and take a week off when the mom leaves! But he has got to talk to his wife about this and they need to be on the same page. Tell the wife you love her, and that you are thrilled to pieces that your mother-in-law is there to help and buy you this time. Then go back to work and save that paid time off for when you need to spend it for real to sup- port the hell out of your wife. When you are home from work, don't act like she's been on vacation all day and claim you are too tired to take care of the baby. Change diapers, take the baby for an after-din- ner walk, just you. All this is null and void, though, if your mother-in- law isn't so much a pro, but instead completely overbearing. If that is the case, I second Carolyn's advice. — Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS » My concern is that he'll do this and then never take that second week. Even if his intentions are ster- ling, there's a high risk of going back to work and never need-needing to take the time off because the obvious occasion doesn't present itself. And it's so easy to imagine the week not taken hardening into a grievance: "Remember when you said you'd save your week off to help me when I needed it more? And you never took it?" So, sure, save the week, but mean it. New father feels like he's in the way rather than helpful Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20)— Being too rigid will alienate you from your peers. Try to be flex- ible so you can stay on the good side of your colleagues. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You may daydream about exotic destinations, but, in reality, experiencing cultural events in your own community will bring you just as much enjoyment. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You need to examine your finan- cial situation and do whatever it takes to protect your interests. Failing to keep on top of con- tracts could land you in debt. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Compromise, not conflict, will be the order of the day. You will lose an important ally if you are too argumentative or demand- ing. Be willing to meet halfway. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Your current job may be falling short of your expectations. Improving your work situation should be your main focus. Do some networking to find a more suitable position. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — You could use a few laughs. Some healthy competition will get your juices flowing. Chal- lenge friends or family members to a word game or trivia contest. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Don't get involved in any power struggles today. If everyone does their own thing, there will be less opportunity for discord and disagreements. Spend time with someone who shares your ideas. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Listen and offer solutions to friends, relatives or colleagues who need someone to confide in, but don't be too quick to share your secrets. You will gain allies and improve your status. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Protect yourself by doing ex- tensive research before making a radical career move. If you act on false information, you could undo all the progress you have made so far. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Experience is a great teacher, so consider past successes and failures before you make a move. Keeping your emo- tions under control will prevent you from making an ill-advised choice. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Don't let a shortage of funds hold you back. Others think highly of your talents and will support your efforts, so believe in your assets and capabilities. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Dare yourself to try something new. You will become inspired if you choose to do things that are unfamiliar to you. Take the plunge, or you will never know what you are missing. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol TUESDAY, JUNE 17 TUESDAY,JUNE17,2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B