Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/329934
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»Ihavemy first therapy appointment scheduled for this week- end. I never wanted to go but my wife convinced me that issues I struggle with were damaging our mar- riage. I can't help but feel like I'll be smarter than the therapist when it comes to knowing what I need, and that I'll find his advice pointless. Still, I want to do this for my wife and marriage. Do you have any advice for how a non-ther- apy-believer can keep from self-sabotage? I want this to work, even if deep down I don't believe it can. —First-Time Therapy-Goer DEAR FIRST-TIMER » Do you go into doctors' offices thinking you know more about anatomy and bio- chemistry than your doc- tor? Into a garage thinking you know more about cars than your mechanic? Into a class thinking you know more about the subject than the teacher? Why do you assume there's no way a therapist can know more about emo- tional patterns and habits than you do? Please do this not for your wife and marriage, but for yourself. The ar- rogance of certainty is the surest way to close your- self off to new knowledge and experiences, and new knowledge and experi- ences are, to my mind, the whole point of getting out of bed in the morning. DEAR CAROLYN » Re: First- timer: Most therapists do not give advice, at least at first. If you go in expect- ing to be told a bunch of answers in a couple of sessions you're going to be disappointed. Good thera- py starts just by having a conversation about what's bothering you and having the therapist listen. — Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS » Yes, excellent point. The closest most therapists come to advising is to guide your self-examination, flag things worth a closer look, and suggest strategies for getting different results from the ones that put you on the couch. Thanks. DEAR CAROLYN » Re: First-Timer: I went to a counselor with my wife. I insisted on the counseling, but let my wife choose the practitioner. From the first moment, I felt this woman wasn't as intel- ligent as me, as worldly, as tasteful, or even as self- aware. Ugh, her speaking cadences! Ten or 20 minutes in, I realized, thankfully, how much of that was either crap or irrelevant. Maybe I am brighter (or maybe not), but she was the one with the outside and un- biased perspective of our patterns of relating, and the training to recognize them for what they are. The cadences were some- thing I easily adapted to, as we adapt to most people once we are able to put our own bag of crap aside. — Anonymous 2 DEAR ANONYMOUS » This is an outstanding contribution for so many reasons. Thank you for weighing in. Arrogance keeps man from realizing benefits of therapy Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20) — Financial security should be on your mind. Scrutinize your spending history. Long-term investments will help you save more than you spend. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You'll be feeling unsure of yourself today. Getting involved in a creative project will keep your mind off your troubles. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — If someone suggests a new health regimen, take note. Showing an effort to be the best person you can be will make you feel good about your accomplishments. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — If things are not progressing as you had hoped, make a change. Don't confine yourself to old ideas. Look into ways to use your skills to bypass obstacles. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Don't let a careless remark ruin your day. By putting your best foot forward and doing your own thing, you will show everyone that you have what it takes to win. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Good fortune will be yours. You will find a favorable conclu- sion to a longtime problem, and others will go out of their way to help you. The future looks promising. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Your schedule will be chaotic. Tackle jobs that have been hanging over your head. Your energy will be contagious, and everyone around you will be motivated to help. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You cannot escape personal issues. Don't hide your true feel- ings. Dealing with them head-on will help you to move forward. Positive action brings stellar results. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You may have more money than you think. Take a look around and determine which items you no longer use. Having a yard sale will bring you extra income. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Social functions are likely to lead to a special relation- ship. Take advantage of every invitation, and don't be too shy to mingle. Your uniqueness will attract attention. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Expect people around you to be overly critical. Don't take it personally. Instead, get involved in a new project that will allow you to interact and meet new people. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Reuniting with people from your past will emphasize how far you've come. You will enjoy catching up and learning about the achievements and challeng- es that others have faced. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol SATURDAY, JUNE 14 SATURDAY, JUNE 14, 2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B