Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/32854
THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET Marriage In America by MARGARET DICKSON I did not set my alarm for the recent royal wedding, nor did I attend a crack-of-dawn wedding party where the guests wore fitted blue frocks and faux sapphire rings as they sipped Bloody Marys and waited to see the “the dress.” I did make it my business, though, to tune into the reruns of that fabulous occasion, which seemed perfect and exceptional in every way. The bride was lovely. The groom was handsome and well-behaved, and the festivities were regal, yet still youthful. Only a handful of people in the entire history of the world will ever have a wedding like Catherine Middleton and Prince William, now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, but it turns out that as a newlywed couple, they are very much in step with current demographic trends in the United States and other westernized nations, and their marriage has a good statistical chance of being a long one, at least according to the U.S. Census Bureau. When Kate and Will, as the British tabloids refer to them, met at the altar in historic Westminster Abbey, they did so at ages 29 and 28 respectively, both old enough to have had some “me” time and following a courtship that lasted nearly a decade, albeit with several intermissions. In contrast with Will’s parents who had a wide age gap — she was 20, he was 32 — and who dated only a few months, Kate and Will had ample time to get to know themselves and each other. In addition, both hold university degrees, another marker of maturity. More than 30 percent of American brides now have college degrees, a significant increase from 21-percent in 1996, and the age of first marriage for both men and women continues its upward creep. Being older and more educated gives couples more financial footing as well, even though this is obliviously not an issue for Kate and William, and holding religious beliefs adds additional stability. The Census Bureau is releasing all sorts of data gathered from last year’s census forms, with some of the latest regarding the state of marriage in America. There is good news, and news that may be not so good, depending on how important an institution we believe marriage to be. The good news is that marriages undertaken between the censuses of 1990 and 2010 are lasting longer than they have in previous decades. About three quarters of those have marriages made it to their 10th anniversary and beyond, in sharp contrast to the early 1980s when Americans were divorcing at the highest rates ever. The flip side of this demographic coin is that for people who do not fit into those categories — people who are younger, less educated, less financially stable, less religious — marriage does not seem to be working so well. APRIL 7-13, 2010 VOLUME 15 ISSUE 14 UME 15 ISSUE 14 3 Fayetteville Beautiful It Starts with You. Cumberland County Library Presents The Big Read You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown at FSU Home Instead Senior Care Cumberland Matters Focus on Fayetteville INSIDE E WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia has published its annual report, The State of Our Unions 2010: When Marriage Disappears, which has given me a serious case of the heebie jeebies. According to the report, a successful and satisfying marriage is increasingly a demarcation between the approximately 30 percent of Americans with college degrees and the 58 percent of us with a high school diplomas and perhaps some college, people the report calls Middle Americans. Those of us with less education marry earlier, divorce more often, are more likely to have children outside of marriage and our children are more likely to live with only one parent. When we are married, we report lower levels of happiness in our marriages than our more educated neighbors. In other words, Middle Americans are becoming more like the most disadvantaged in our society where “marriage is fragile and weak.” Why should anyone care about this beyond hoping that we and those we love can find happiness, satisfaction and stability within marriage? The report puts it bluntly. “Overall, then, the family lives of today’s moderately educated Americans increasingly resemble those of high- school dropouts, too often burdened by financial distress, partner conflict, single parenting and troubled children. “In an era in which jobs and the economy are the overriding concern…marriage is not merely a private arrangement between two persons. It is a core social institution, one that helps to ensure the economic, social and emotional welfare of countless children, women and men in this nation. “Today’s retreat from marriage among the moderately educated middle is placing the American Dream beyond the reach of too many Americans. It makes the lives of mothers harder and drives fathers further away from families. It increases the odds that children from Middle America will drop out of high school, end up in trouble with the law, become pregnant as teenagers or otherwise lose their way. As marriage — an institution to which all could once aspire — increasingly becomes the private playground of those already blessed with abundance, a social and cultural divide is growing. It threatens the American experiment in democracy and should be of concern to every civic and social leader in our nation.” This is a conversation we Americans need to have with each — and quickly. MARGARET DICKSON, CONTRIBUTING WRITER, Up & Coming Weekly, COM- MENTS? Editor@upandcomingweekly.com. Reasons to market and advertise your business with us! Pocket Guide www.upandcomingweekly.com Now online: JUNE 1-7, 2011 UCW 5 UPDATE INSIDE Inside Update Inside www.fayettevillebeautiful.com PROUDLY SPONSORED BY HEY! THIS PAPER BELONGS TO: FUN FAMILY EDUCATIONAL RESOURCE OF CUMBERLAND & HOKE CO.• MAY 2010 Up & Coming Weekly's Pocket Guide 2010 www.upandcomingweekly.com F VOL. 10 HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! CAMP GUIDE INSIDE! Online! Now 484-6200 Call RE