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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»What to do, as a full-grown adult, when a classless coward makes a loud, pub- lic and derogatory com- ment about your mother (a FORMER friend of hers) after your unknow- ing mother walked out of the restaurant, where this person and party were coinciden- tally seated near us? And your father tells you not to go over there and not to say anything? Because this former friend's husband, who was seated there and clearly upset by his wife's behavior, is a good and longtime friend of your father and a good guy to- ward us? And your father tells you not to say one word to your mother? Shouldn't my father have defended his wife? He's very religious, gentle, and afraid of confronta- tion. And as a 40-year-old, was I right or wrong to obey my father despite my instincts to stand up for my mother? —Disgusted DEAR DISGUSTED » It's OK just to let rude people think they won, to have faith that people of charac- ter know a boor when they hear one, and to trust you won't implode waiting for the vengeful urges to pass. I understand you're reacting in part to a father who's "afraid" of confron- tation; such fears can cast a shadow of defeat over decisions to walk away. I also get that a silent exit is not as satisfying as stand- ing up for your mom, obvi- ously, or offering a calm response to her husband. But please trust that there are other, excellent reasons not to engage with such a person besides fear of making a scene. Firing back would lessen the attention on her poor character. One per- son slinging insults looks much worse than someone who trades insults with another; best to leave her alone in that spotlight. And, you risk turning public opinion in her favor. Her husband was "clearly upset" with his wife's boorishness, which is an appropriate and effective natural consequence of her actions. Natural conse- quences are always prefer- able to taking matters into your own hands. And, besting a heckler is harder than it looks; most of the time, you wind up saying something de- rogatory yourself, thereby validating a coward. Such is the mind of someone who feels justified in employing public verbal abuse to make a point. The exceptions are Churchillian wit if you're so blessed, or the high road if you aren't: "I'm sorry you feel that way. My mother has only kind things to say of you." Eat that, you ill-mannered flesh wad. Half-smile, nod, depart. Even if you had just the right witticism ready, there was a reason to restrain yourself that trumped all: It wasn't your scene to direct. Your father was the one with standing to decide how to handle his friend and friend's wife. I'd have felt as frustrated as you did — but I, too, would have deferred to Dad. Dad stays silent while former friend slings verbal attack Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20) — If you have been lazy about performing your household chores, you will hear about it. Do your part without complaint and avoid squabbles. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Show off your sociable nature. Surround yourself with friends and family, and share your posi- tive attitude. Share memories. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Strike a balance. Let others do their share without criticizing their efforts. You can't do it all, but you also can't expect others to do things your way. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You have been on edge lately, losing sleep over past mistakes and mishaps. Avoid depression by making a plan for the future. Anxiety is holding you back. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Be careful who you confide in. You may have revealed informa- tion that can be used against you. Minor setbacks must be overcome swiftly. Put your best interest first. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — A creative activity will gener- ate an interesting proposal. Be proud of your talents, and new doors will open for you. Let everyone know what you have to offer. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Have faith in your own judgment. It's important to stay in control. Take advice from ex- perts, but ultimately make your decisions based on what works best for you. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Find out more about what's going on in your community. Look into projects and develop- ments that you can contribute to. Valuable connections can be made close to home. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You need to better organize your life. If you find that you're spending too much time looking for everyday items, set aside a few hours to put everything in place today. Your frustration level will decrease as a result. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Be extra cautious. A small injury will turn into a problem. Use your tools carefully. It's how you interact with others that will determine your success. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Shake off the blues. Find people who have the same passions, and plan a joint project. Have some fun, lighten up and have a laugh or two. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — It would be wise to study wealth management and investment techniques. Spending your time thusly will bring you long-last- ing benefits and ensure that you will be less likely to be conned by a self-proclaimed expert. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, JUNE 6 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM FRIDAY, JUNE 6, 2014 4 B