Up & Coming Weekly

6 UCW SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2009 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM Did you balance an egg on end on Sept. 22? It is the one sure way to keep your life in equilibrium. There are two times a year when you can balance a raw egg on end without difficulty. We are talking about the equinox, vernal and autumnal. Equinox is the Babylonian word for egg balancing day. When the ancient Babylonians weren't building the Tower of Babel, they amused themselves by holding egg balancing festivals on the first day of Spring and Fall. They would invite the Assyrians, the Hittites and the Hebrews over during a one day truce in which competing national teams would vie for the title of Best Egg Balancers of the Known World. Back then there wasn't much of a known world except around the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. Travel time to the Egg Balancing Festivals was fairly short. An Egg Pax was declared for the duration of the events. The traditional enemy tribes put down their swords for a day and picked up eggs. The losers of the tournament had eggs thrown at them by the winning tribe, hence the term egg on your face. After the contest, the competitors would go back to smiting each other with the usual violent rampaging and pillaging of their neighbor's villages. The reason that you can balance eggs on the equinox involves the tilt of the Earth and the length of the day and night that somehow makes eggs want to stand on end. The cause of this desire to stand on end is shrouded in mystery. As eggs cannot talk we are unable to question the eggs directly as to their motivation to balance. By the time the egg hatches and produces a chicken, the chicken no longer is able to remember why as an egg it chose to balance on the equinox. If you have ever tried to interrogate a chicken, you know that it is difficult to have an intelligent conversation with poultry. Chickens suffer from attention deficit disorder and speak English very poorly. Ever since Babylonian times, there has been a grave shortage of chicken speech pathologists which has contributed to our lack of communication with our feathered friends. I know the egg balancing phenomenon to be true because every year I balance an egg on the first day of Spring. I also try to remember to balance an egg on the first day of Fall. I usually forget to balance in the Fall due to the traditional excitement of the early part of the Carolina football season while the Heels are still winning against teams like Cupcake University and the College of the Little Sisters of the Poor. If the vernal equinox came in November after football reality sets in and the disappointing gridiron losses start to pile up in Chapel Hill, I would be much more likely to remember to balance an egg at the autumnal equinox. The ancient Babylonians believed that if you balanced an egg on the equinox your life would remain in balance the rest of the year. Conversely, (and I do not speak of the shoe formerly manufactured in North Carolina that is now manufactured in China), if you didn't balance an egg on the equinox you would suffer from life out of balance. Way back in 1982 there was an odd movie called Koyaanissquatsi which was the Hopi word for "life out of balance." The Hopi Indians and the Babylonians had a lot in common regarding their belief in balancing life. "Koyaanissquatsi" possesses the same attraction/repulsion that a car accident on the side of the interstate creates. You don't want to look but you can't help yourself. The movie is about half moonscape western desert landscapes and the other half funky urban sprawl. The gist of the flick is that if we get out of touch with nature and surround ourselves with the artificial layers of modern life we will end up as hurting buckaroos. If you find that you too are a hurting buckaroo, mark your calendar for March 20, 2010 which is the first day of Spring, and balance an egg. You'll be glad you did. If you forget to balance an egg the yolk will be on you. Babylonians, Eggs and Balance by PITT DICKEY VFUXERDNVFRP 5DPVH\6WUHHW6XLWH)D\HWWHYLOOH 1&1H[WWR0HWKRGLVW8QLYHUVLW\ FREE APPETIZER WITH THE PURCHASE OF TWO ENTREES (present coupon upon ordering to redeem; maximum value $9; expires 12/31/2009) Bridal 2 Corporate 2 Holiday 2 Anniversary Shower 2 Birthday 2Welcome Home Celebrate at ScrubOaks! PITT DICKEY, Columnist. or editor@upandcomingweekly.com

• Cover