Up & Coming Weekly

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2009 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Beached Wail My boyfriend and I have a year-old son. His two small boys (from a previous marriage) live with us on weekends. A while back, he cheated and gave me herpes. Had I not been pregnant with our son (unplanned), I would've left him. But, I believe once you're pregnant, it's not about you, so I'm trying to make it work. But, I hold grudges and haven't been able to forgive him for cheating. Also, his parents, who live next door, hate me, and have never stopped trying to break us up. They expect him and the two boys at their house for dinner on weekends and many weekdays without me. They show nasty favoritism, spending $300 on a toy for the two boys, but gave my son dollar-store outfits they knew wouldn't fit. Because my boyfriend's mother watches the two other boys after school for very little money (and our son at times, too, charging me four times more), moving isn't an option. — Stuck If you discovered you were living over a radioactive waste dump, and Pol Pot, Adolf Hitler and a pedophile were moving in next door, I'm guessing your response wouldn't be, "Gee, pity we can't move." But, just add discount babysitting to the mix, and it's "So, Mr. Hitler, what brings you to the neighborhood?" Beyond the childcare issue, you've got an incurable STD, a seemingly incurable grudge, the Wicked Witch of the 20 Feet To The West, and a plan — sitting around feeling sorry for yourself until Junior goes to college. It seems you've heard that good things come to those who wait. True, but unless you're making a souffle or catching the bus, better things come to those who do something. You do talk a good game — how "once you're pregnant, it's not about you." Noble words. If you actually believed them, your kid would have doting grandparents — the parents of the nice infertile couple you let adopt him after you gave birth. The real deal? You probably wanted a baby no matter what, and maybe thought it would be just the ticket to a little respect from the Evil Inlaw Empire. Not surprisingly, they immediately put him into grandchild steerage, and it doesn't sound that far-fetched to suspect they take the two boys to Disneyland, but when your kid comes over, they just take the childproof covers off the electrical outlets. A $19.95-a-day U-Haul will speed you, your kid, and your mommy- and daddy-whipped boyfriend across town to a living situation where you won't spend your afternoons screaming into a paper bag. You might move into a duplex with another family with kids or set up childcare- sharing with four other families (one for each day of the week). Tragically, coming up with solutions like these will require you to stop merely bemoaning your fate and actually break a sweat (don't worry, you won't hurt it). But, first things first: Break up with your grudge and get back together with your boyfriend. You say you can't forgive him, but have you actually tried? You've got a kid; you can't just wait for your resentment to ebb away; you need to replace it with positive thoughts. There's increasing evidence of "neuroplasticity" — the ability to chemically remodel your brain by repeatedly focusing on changing, then repeating new thinking and behavior. Act loving — hug him, kiss him, tell him he's a great dad...repeatedly — and it's likely you'll start to feel loving. You can then help him work on what he most needs to do — admit that there's a right time to cut the umbilical cord, and well, better 46-and-a-half than never. Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 With confi dence in your abilities you can do great things. Whatever the mind can con- ceive and BELIEVE, it can achieve. A home sideline is like money in the bank. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 An excellent time to meet new people who share your interests. An improvement in your income is not too many Moons away. Good time to develop new income sources. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. Emphasis may be on Domestic concerns. Activities should work well in buying or selling property. Also, a home eBay or www.craft could become a real money- maker. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Contacts you've recently made in nearby places could tip "fortune's scales" in your favor. Don't call, text or email. Show up in person. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 New projects have "seeds of success". Time is right to show others your talents and abilities. Determination plus action is the key that opens new doors. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 Turn to friends for support. This is not a time to "go it alone". Joining new groups is an effective way of making hopes and wishes come true. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Channeling creative abilities into a home based www.enterprise may be the way to fulfi ll your potential and add to your income. 3 motivating words "Do it now!" SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Lucky you! Sector of Hope is where this week's planets benefi ts your sign. What you have been wishing for may soon come to pass. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Be open to new ideas, new people and new local opportunities. An "acre of diamonds" could be right under your feet if you dig a little deeper. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Ruling planet Saturn spotlights an interest in Travel for many Goats. Also, an update in your career interests is like money in the bank. Good news from a far away place. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 New money making ideas should be explored with good aspects from your ruling planet Uranus. Have confi dence in yourself. Success is in your stars. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 20 Time out for R&R (Rest and Relaxation). It's OK to be concerned but don't get involved with the problems of others. Problems are easily solved when you sleep on them. NEWS OF THE WEIRD Based on models of rampant infectious diseases, say researchers, civilization would be doomed if we were ever attacked by zombies. If society were ever attacked by zombies, we would probably be doomed, and quickly. That was the conclusion of two university researchers in Ottawa, Ontario, who set up mathematical models hypothesizing zombie attacks as infectious diseases with the well-known characteristics of zombie biology from popular fi ction. In fact, according to a July BBC News report, zombies are more threatening than virulent diseases because they can regenerate (unless decapitated or incinerated, of course). More troubling was the researchers' presumption that zombies move slowly, as in older movies, but in recent fi ction, they're super-quick, making them nearly invincible. [BBC News, 7-18-09] Government in Action Scared-y Cat Brits: In June the Peterborough City Council ordered retirees who come together for weekly coffee at the public library to give up hot drinks, in case one accidentally spilled on a child. [Daily Mail, 6-28-09] In July the Dagenham Pool in Essex, citing (according to the manager) drowning risks, banned swimmers from doing "lengths" and forced them instead to swim "widths." [Daily Mail, 7-29-09] In June the Brighton and Hove City Council ordered nature-lover Hilaire Purbrick, 45, out of the cave that has been his residence for 16 years, citing its lack of a "fi re exit." [Daily Telegraph, 6-17-09] In April, the Pelham (Mass.) Board of Selectmen notifi ed residents that it proposed to "alter a (four-mile) portion of Amherst Road" and needed their co- operation. The board said the road, in service with exactly the same contour since 1822, must better conform to what Amherst Road looked like on an 1822 map. Thus, some property owners along the route were asked to cede some rights to the government to un-modernize the road. [Amherst Bulletin, 6-5-09] Among the personal tasks allegedly demanded by Portsmouth (Va.) mayor James Holley of his public-payroll assistant Lorraine Stokes (from a list Stokes released in August, alleging Holley's abuse): affi xing labels to boxes identifying Holley's assorted-color argyle socks; placing orders for "tummy support T-shirts" and "90-minute abs" videos; and locating retailers for his favorite English Leather cologne, Stri- Vectin Cream (for "turkey neck"), geese repellant, T. Barry underwear, grass seeds and Gillette hair paste. [Virginian- Pilot Online, 8-10-09] Fayetteville/Cumberland County Book Club Conference Join us for our fi rst book club conference, a gathering of book clubs from all over the area. Learn how to start a book club and keep it going, fi nd out what other clubs are reading, and fi nd out about the library's resources specifi cally for those who love to read and discuss. Featured speakers are local authors Suzetta Perkins, author of Behind the Veil and A Love So Deep, and Lisa Garber, author of Crosswinds. Light refreshments are provided. Registration is encouraged. For more information or to register, please call 483-0977 or email thefayettevilleoprahbookclub@yahoo.com Saturday October 3 9:00 am Headquarters Library 300 Maiden Lane Co-sponsored by the Fayetteville Oprah Book Club. Ad paid for by SYSTEL ®

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