Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/31318
NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Businesses typically resist government WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY regulation, but in March Florida’s interior designers begged the state house of representatives to continue controlling them, with a theatrically ham-handed lobbying campaign challenging a deregulation bill. Designers righteously insisted that only “licensed professionals” (with a minimum six years of college and experience) could prevent the nausea Floridians would suffer from inappropriate color schemes (affecting the “autonomic nervous system” and salivary glands). Also, poorly designed prison interiors could be turned into weapons by inmates. Furthermore, deregulation would contribute to “88,000 deaths” a year from flammable materials that would suddenly inundate the market in the absence of licensing. Said one designer, addressing House committee members, “You (here in this chamber) don’t even have correct seating.” (If deregulation is successful, competition will increase, and lower fees are expected.) [St. Petersburg Times, 3-31-2011] Cultural Diversity The longstanding springtime culinary tradition of urine-soaked eggs endures, in Dongyang, China, according to a March CNN dispatch. Prepubescent boys contribute their urine (apparently without inhibition) by filling containers at schools, and the eggs are boiled according to recipe and sold for the equivalent of about 23 cents each. Many residents consider the tradition gross, but for devotees, it represents, as one said, “the (joyous) smell of spring.” [CNNGo, 3-14- 2011; MinistryofTofu.com (citing Qianjiang Evening Post), 3-11-2011] The port town of Kumai, Borneo, consists of low-rise shops and houses serving a population of 20,000 but also many tall, windowless box buildings perforated with small holes. The structures are actually birdhouses, for the town’s chief industry is harvesting the nests of the hummingbird-like swiftlet, constructed of its own saliva, which, properly processed, yields a sweet-tasting paste with alleged medicinal qualities and highly revered throughout Asia, according to a January BBC News report. [BBC News, 1-26-2011] In January, while the Texas Legislature debated budget cuts that would almost certainly cost Allen High School (just north of Dallas) at least $18 million and require layoffs of teachers and other school personnel, construction was continuing on the school’s new $60 million football stadium. Noted a New York Times report on the stadium (which 63 percent of voters approved in a 2009 bond referendum), “(O)nly football supersedes faith and family (among Texans).” [New York Times, 1-30-2011] Latest Religous Messages Former stripper Crystal Deans, who said she learned the trade at age 18 but later retired and turned to God for help through a rough patch of her life, now offers free pole-dancing classes in Spring, Texas, near Houston, expressly for Christian women. Her gyrations may be the same as when she was working, she said, but now everyone is clothed, and she dances only to “Christian music.” [New York Times, 4-1-2011] COPYRIGHT 2010 CHUCK SHEPHERD WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ARIES (March 21-April 19) You go out of your way to get mental perspective. No one can accuse you of missing the forest for the trees. You’ll see the trees, the forest, the con- tinent they are on and the curve of the planet. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) You’re not sure how far to take an idea. There are expenses involved, and you’re not sure whether it would be worthwhile to incur those expenses. The answer is: not yet. Don’t put your money into this until you are certain. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Staying on course will be a challenge. Your mind fi res in many directions at once. Your social interac- tion may feel unfocused. Yet the whimsy of your mood produces bits of creativity that turn out to be both interesting and lucrative. CANCER (June 22-July 22) There’s some- thing you could do better if you had formal instruction in it. The training is not as dif- fi cult to get, time consuming or costly as you think it will be. Go for it! LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) There is a person who goes in after you clean, polish and present all the work you’ve done. Honor and praise this often-unsung helper. Make your appreciation widely known. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)If you have thoughts that are inappropriate or prejudiced, keep them to yourself and don’t worry too much. This is only a sign that you have let down your guard and are in a highly creative mode. ADVICE GODDESS So, His Wild Oats LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) What a bit of fun you’ll get into today. Some might even call it trouble, and they wouldn’t be far off, either. But it’s the kind of fun/trouble that bubbles up and then recedes just as quickly. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21)You might take certain shortcuts when you’re walking alone, but you wouldn’t bring others down the same potentially treacherous path — too risky. Your protective nature emerges tonight. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You’ve worked hard to achieve a certain standard in your work, and now you need to work just as hard to market it. The response you receive will be directly correlated to the number of times you put yourself out there. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You infuse your activities with the qualities that make you shine: attitude, vision and creativity. A little nuisance project could be the start of a huge enterprise. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You’ll have double the energy of yesterday, so don’t let it go to waste. Go beyond what you did yes- terday. If you walked a mile, walk two. If you read an article, fi nish the whole magazine. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You’ll benefi t by trying to see the other side of an equa- tion. For instance, maybe it’s not the people involved in a problem who are to blame for it, but the situation and environment they are in. By Holiday Mathis I offhandedly mentioned to a friend that I thought her married brother was really cute. She revealed that his divorce (from a 10-year marriage) would soon be fi nal. (It will be at the end of this month.) She then played matchmaker. He and I have been dating for three months. Things were going fabulously — until a few nights ago. We were picking a movie to watch on his laptop, and I noticed one of his browser pages was opened to Match.com. He saw that I saw it but said nothing. The thought that he’s con- tinuing his search for romance hurts. I feel like I’m not good enough. I’ve gone from being comfortable seeing where this goes to wanting to have the “defi ne the relationship” talk. Am I being irrational? Should I just try to relax? (Of course, he could’ve been on Match because he’s canceling his member- ship or tying up loose ends.) —Beside Myself Sure, the guy could’ve been on Match to cancel his membership — or to infl ate his salary and height. He’s just getting out of a 10-year marriage. This is the time for a man to play the fi eld — or, in Tennyson’s words, “When sprung, a young man’s fancy turns to ill-advised sex with a string of bar sluts.” Whoops, just Womack Army Medical Center is proud to announce the opening of two community-based clinics on March 10. as he was about to fi nish picking the lock on his ball and chain, up popped you. He likes you, he’s having fun with you, but the timing is still the timing. Instead of expecting him to take himself off the market before he’s even signed his divorce papers, consider that his comparison shopping is not only in his best interest but yours. If, after seeing who’s out there, he comes back to you, it’s because he wants you for all the things you are, as opposed to the one thing you’re not: his almost-ex-wife. Of course you want to nail down a good thing — especially when you suspect it’s been trolling the Internet for your replacement. But, having the “defi ne the relationship” talk at this point would most likely defi ne the relationship right out of existence. You can’t make a man commit. What you can do is make the most out of whatever time you have together — which takes accepting that things end and that you can’t order up love without the risks: “I’ll take the candle-lit dinners, regular sex, and somebody to snake the drain — but no heartbreak, no pickles, and a Diet Coke with three ice cubes.” Amy Alkon Hope Mills Medical Home Millstone Town Center, Hope Mills Fayetteville Medical Home Clinic Woodland Center, Raeford Rd., Fayetteville The clinics, part of a new ini a ve to bring care into the community, are open to ac ve-duty family members who are currently enrolled in TRICARE Prime or Network. For more information, please call 910-907-6000. Womack Army Medical Center “Committed to those we serve” It’s actually when you stop trying to hang on to a guy and you just try to have fun hanging out that he’s more likely to want to stick around. Tell this guy you understand his situation and the timing, and just ask whether he’s dating other women. He should get the sense that you aren’t somebody he can put on hold indefi nitely, and you should set up some sort of cutoff date in your own mind to ensure that he won’t. Meanwhile, if he isn’t exclusive to you, you should make yourself a little less available. Give him a chance to miss you. In time, maybe he’ll be all yours — or maybe he won’t. If you need a guarantee, date a washing machine. You can tell people you met online — on Sears.com: “I fl irted with a Whirlpool fi rst, but he had me at 30 percent off until midnight.” Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. MAY 11-17, 2011 UCW 23