Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/311961
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»Many years ago, my father began sending me letters filled with news articles that he thought I'd like. I do like them. And he's funny and sweet in his notes on the articles. Often the envelopes have funny sayings, too. I have an overall rocky relation- ship with my family — they have boundary, intimacy, emotional, physical and even some sexual and substance abuse issues (the whole deal), but my dad and I get along pretty well and he's the least bad of them by far. And he's changed somewhat for the better as he has gotten older. For a while, I got rid of everything he sent after reading it. My parents are also hoarders, and I am trying hard to break the cycle. I've realized lately that I won't have my par- ents forever, and recently started to keep some envelopes and some of his writing on news articles. How do I balance all of the past pain with present- day love and appreciation, and also future cleanli- ness? This could take over a lot of room in my small apartment, and I don't want to give the space over to it, symbolically or physically. Some might say that I'm asking for trouble by keeping anything, but everyone makes their peace as they have to. —StuffedWithMeaning DEAR STUFFED » Symboli- cally and physically, I rec- ommend compartments. People are complicated, ever-evolving and gener- ally all, to some degree, strange. And, even while consciously choosing to act in a certain way, they're inclined also to react on some level to their environment, including the people around them — so you can often see a very different side of a person just with a change in cir- cumstances. Imagine how different the conditions at home are now from when you lived together as a young family. All of this is to say that it's not unthinkable for the funny and sweet version of your father to coexist with the slate of issues you ascribe to him and to your childhood in general. How you deal with his contradictions is up to you — certainly plenty of people decide the rocky negates the sweet — but I'm not sure "balance" is necessary, or even possible. He is a deeply flawed person, check. He has his good points, check. You have your eyes open to both, check. Why not simply respond warmly to the good, and distance yourself as needed from the bad? Attempting this is not for everyone, but you seem to be remarkably temperate about the chaos buffet around you. Physically it can also work to sort things out as you go. If you're not hung up on the tactile, you can scan and save his notes electronically. But if the feel of newsprint and the swipe of the ink are part of what you value, then buy yourself a scrapbook. Mount the best of his mis- sives, and release yourself from the rest. Allow keepsakes to embrace the good, but release the bad Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Aries(March21-April19) — You are spreading yourself too thin. Be more selective in your choices. If you want to stay healthy, you need to learn to say no once in a while. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You have a reputation as being steadfast and dependable, but you should let your hair down more often and show your fun side. Take a chance. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Make a contribution to a cause you believe in or a job that interests you. Your colleagues will be grateful. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Your charm and poise will make you stand out in a crowd. Social events or ceremonies will ex- pose you to potential compan- ions if you are looking for love. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Family problems are imminent. Keep your cool. Follow through on promises you've made in order to make a good impression and be kept in the loop. Actions will speak louder than words. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Don't confine your activi- ties to a set routine. Sign up for an unconventional experience. Consider trying an exotic cook- ing or dance class, or learning a new language. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Liven up your surroundings. You will feel proud and fulfilled if you do the work yourself. To avoid pitfalls or opposition, you should be secretive about workplace events. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Don't put your social life on the back burner. Get out and laugh a little. Join a group that will let you show the lighter side of your personality. Sagittarius (Nov. 23- Dec. 21) — You're missing an important piece of the puzzle. Someone has misled you. You may have to take a roundabout route to get the answers you need. Proceed with caution. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — A needy family member will be very demanding. Don't give too much of your time, energy or budget. You shouldn't feel the need to finance someone else's mistakes. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Scrutinize your own behavior before lashing out at someone else. Don't start something you can't finish or that could lead to conflict and regret. Look for positive options. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Fight off fatigue and lethargy. Don't let depression or disinter- est stand between you and an exciting event that could jump- start your vitality. The first step is the hardest. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol WEDNESDAY, MAY 14 WEDNESDAY,MAY14,2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B