Up & Coming Weekly

SEPTEMBER 23-29, 2009 UCW 39 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Milked & Honey My girlfriend of two years just left me, saying she'd fallen out of love. Prior to leaving, she moved into my condo as part of our long- term plan to buy a house together. She insisted on many renovations, and I went along to make her happy. I put in $5,000, we borrowed $15,000 from my grandmother, and we both signed a contract to pay her back. Now she's gone, with $800 she cleaned out of our joint account, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt, and she refuses to pay. I'm being forced to sell the condo. To make matters worse, she confessed she'd had doubts about the relationship before moving in — although she never voiced them; she just demanded expensive home improvements! But, this is all background. My problem is my friends, who met my ex through me. They know what happened, but tell me I have to get used to her being around because they intend to keep inviting her to parties. So, are these people really my friends? They speak words of friendship, but don't back them up. — Very Alone You lost your love, you're losing your condo, and Granny's sending over two thugs to break your legs if she doesn't get her money or a great-grandchild by the first of the month. Your friends feel really bad for you — just not bad enough to drag themselves out of the booth where they're drinking appletinis with your ex, who's got everybody in stitches with her stories of condo construction hell. You approach love with the hopeless optimism of a degenerate gambler. You threw money you didn't have at a relationship you must've sensed wouldn't last, like treating it as a sure thing would make it one. In our e-mail exchange, you admitted that this girl had never shown much interest in anyone else's needs, including yours, and even neglected her cat. Hellooo, life partner! You also said she owes $40K on credit cards, $50K on student loans, and makes only $40K a year. Yes, here's a woman who has "great credit risk" written all over her...collection agency notices that come in the mail every day. Of course, when a couple breaks up, their friends are sometimes lobbied so hard by both partners that they find it hard to figure out the real story, or they think it isn't their place to get in the middle. But, this wasn't a case of "We had communication issues" or "We were just brought up differently." She robbed you. There isn't a lot of nuance in that to parse. So, in addition to a love who didn't act all that loving, it seems you have friends who act like acquaintances. There's a common denominator here, and it's you — a guy who'd rather not divide the people in his life into their proper categories: those who'll go to the ends of the earth for you and those who won't cross the living room. You can have real love and real friends — if you're honest about who's there for you and who's just there. Friends are people you can count on, anytime, anywhere, for ransom or bail. The rest are just warm bodies you bump into with some regularity. Sure, you call them friends — but only because "Meet my friend Bob" is snappier and sounds nicer than "This is Bob, who really has nothing to say to me, so he sends me Internet forwards threatening me with seven years of bad luck unless I forward this to 10 more idiots." Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Socializing with new people in business or with a "signifi cant other" can be very advantageous to your future. Expect good times in the months ahead. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 Sun brings new light to favorable infl uenc- es in health and workplace matters. Making new contacts with decision makers will turn things to your advantage. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. New position of the Sun transits your solar sector of Fun-time activities. Week's accent could be on creativity, romantic interests and realistic speculation concerns. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Domestic concerns are given a boost as the Sun moves thru your Home sector. A home eBay or www. enterprise could bring additional dollars. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 An "acre of diamonds" may be right under your feet if you dig a little deeper. Sun's new position indicates there's light at the end of the tunnel. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 New money-making ideas should be explored as Sun moves thru your Income sector. Have confi dence in your abilities. You are better than you think! LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Happy Birthday season! New projects ha- vethe seeds of success in your year ahead. What's past is past. Look forward to happy new endeavors in your year ahead. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Venus, planet of harmony moves into your sector of Hope. Think positive, wishes can come true. Socialize with optimistic people. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Sector of Hope plays host to this month's new Sun position to help make Wishes come true. Never give up! Miracles come true every day. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Success in Career or Professional matters is indicated by Sun's new position in your solar horoscope. Take the initiative. The stars are with you now. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Changes for the better are part of your picture now. Distant places may have an appeal. New career possibilities open thru community colleges. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 20 Love planet Venus moves into your Relationship sector. For romantic eligibles a new relationship may be in your stars. Go where people congreagate. NEWS OF THE WEIRD Breakthroughs in Eye Hair: The pharmaceutical company Allergan has introduced eyelash-thickener Latisse, a $120 per month prescription "medication" to help a woman overcome feelings of inadequacy if she suffers from scrawny lashes. Alternatively, eyelash transplants are now available in the U.S. and Britain, originally developed to restore lashes for burn victims, but, according to the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery, now to market to women dissatisfi ed with their own (at about $6,000). And in May, Washington, D.C., resident Brian Peterkin-Vertanesian petitioned the Guinness Book to recognize "Wally," his 6 3/8-inch eyebrow hair as the world's longest, beating the current record by almost an inch. [New York Times Magazine, 8- 2-09; The Independent (London), 8-9- 09; Washington Post, 5-28-09] The Continuing Crisis Juvenile disruptions by Girls Gone Wild video producer Joe Francis in two recent federal lawsuit depositions have apparently backfi red on him. Under questioning by plaintiffs' lawyers, Francis had persistently and solemnly claimed not to understand common words and, during one session, repeatedly passed gas. At another deposition, he appeared indignant when asked if he had paid two teenage girls to fondle him ("disgusting allegations (against) a man of my integrity"). One judge summarily ruled against him on a $3 million Las Vegas gambling debt, and the other judge was considering a similar course in a class-action lawsuit by some of Francis' allegedly underage "models." [Las Vegas Sun, 8-14-09; Lowering the Bar blog, 8-25-09] With no help from Verizon Wireless, law enforcement agencies managed to hunt down a disturbed, 62-year-old man sought in an 11-hour manhunt following a domestic violence call in Carrollton, Ohio, in May. Deputies had wanted to use the man's cell phone signal to locate him, but the company had shut off his service over an unpaid $20 bill and refused to turn it on, even for a few minutes, unless deputies paid the $20. The sheriff was reluctantly about to pay when deputies found the man. [Times- Reporter (Dover, Ohio), 5-21-09] At any one time, the New York City school system is forced to keep about 1,600 teachers on full salary and benefi ts (costing about $100 million per year) even though they cannot be required to work. Six hundred are in a multiyear arbitration process for terminable misconduct or incompetence, and 1,000 are long-term layoffs from shuttered schools but whom principals continually pass over for transfer. [The New Yorker, 8-31-09]

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