Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/303582
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»One of my close friends has taken to jumping on me over all kinds of things — what I eat, how I vote, whether it's "right" for me to have a cleaning lady, you name it. When I get annoyed at the constant attacks, he tells me that real friends are supposed to challenge each other, that every- one else in my life just mindlessly validates me, and that I'm close-minded and unable to handle criti- cism. (I don't think that's true, although I certainly don't appreciate having it hurled indiscriminately at me like this.) This guy is smart, interesting, and can be a lot of fun, but every time I see him I come away feeling really inse- cure that I actually am this flawed, awful person living in a bubble full of syco- phants — I mean, how would I know? It's not like the sycophants would tell me. Is he right? Is the com- mon wisdom that friends are supposed to "chal- lenge" each other? —Challenged DEAR CHALLENGED » "To you, real friends challenge each other. To me, life is a constant challenge, and so real friends are the ones who are kind to and accept each other." Discuss. Or say, "Fine. I'm challenging your notion that it's your place to fix me." Or, don't discuss or say, and just let this al- leged close friend know you're not going to keep serving yourself up to be criticized. He will likely call this proof you can't handle criticism, but that's fine — just tell him he's right, shrug, and spare yourself his company. It's your prerogative. As for the doubts this has stirred up, you can still pay attention both to your own behavior and to the ways your other friends do and don't reinforce it, without validating his tactics. It's useful to revisit occasion- ally our own idea of what a good person is, and to see if we're living up to that; that's our job, though, not our friends'. DEAR CAROLYN » Re: Challenged: You know, my husband challenges me. He calls me on it when I behave poorly. There have been points in my life when I have listened to his criticism even after completely disregarding everyone else's. This is because he deploys his criticism very selectively, and doesn't rip into me for eating an ice cream bar or blowing off errands or whatever. He makes me want to be a better person. If he was doing what "Challenged" described, however, I would stop listening to him very quickly and assume he needed to find a new wife, someone whose flaws he didn't feel the constant need to point out. — Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS » This makes the distinction clear, thank you. Friend's constant criticisms are no longer constructive Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Taurus(April20-May20) — You will be easily upset and drawn into tense situations if you aren't careful. Take a step back and be an observer. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — A lighthearted attitude will help you win favors. Don't speak out until others have had their say. Approach things with an open mind. Take the safe route. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You aren't guaranteed positive returns on every investment. Consider putting your determi- nation to good use by present- ing and promoting your skills. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Make a point to learn something new. Don't limit your possibili- ties. If you are uncertain or un- happy about your current path, look into other options. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — It's time to pick up the pace and stop delaying the inevitable. Your original plan may need to be adjusted. Take the initiative and get busy. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Minor health issues will escalate if you don't deal with them right away. Ask for assistance if you need it. Your health should be your No. 1 priority. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Be careful not to overreact or take on too much. You will have to make a difficult decision regarding a personal matter. You must act fast before the situation escalates. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Don't mix business with pleasure. You should keep your personal thoughts a secret. Someone could use information you divulge against you. Protect your reputation and your assets. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Let your colleagues in on your latest venture. They will propose interesting ideas. Some constructive criticism will help you move ahead with your plans and reach your destination. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Others may decide to pass their workload on to you. Your responsibilities will take your full attention, so don't sign up for any addi- tional tasks. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Your empathetic nature will be put to good use. Take time to help a worthy organization and share your insight with those who need it the most. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Be brave and take on a new challenge. If you seem to be in a stalemate, explore ways to diversify your skills. Pursue a direction that interests you. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol TUESDAY, APRIL 29 Tuesday,april29,2014 redBluFFdailyNeWs.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B