Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/301506
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»My daughter is in seventh grade. Her best friend brags a lot about her grades ("I got an A" ... said with a sing-songy voice). Same best friend has is- sues with perfectionism. Crumbles if she gets less than an A. My daughter is an all-A-and- one-B type of student so far, which is fine with us. We're proud of her, yet we're trying to teach the ethic that if you've done your best, then we're happy and you should be happy too, since there is likely to be a really tough class someday where a B or even C+ is something you had to work hard to get. She and the best friend get along great save for this issue. I've been trying to think of ways to help my girl deflect the bragging, yet I think she's loath to say any sort of "quip" in retort, because perhaps she knows instinctively that this girl lives for A's, and has to have them or she comes apart. I don't want to teach my girl to be mean or to ditch her friend, but I also don't like seeing her be "made" to feel bad for not getting all A's herself. Any ideas? —H. DEAR H. » You're at least a step too close to this, and that's understating it. You don't get to decide that deflection is your daugh- ter's best option; your job is to love her, teach her basic relationship skills, model empathy, field her direct questions, encour- age her to develop her own answers, and otherwise stay out of the way. In this case, I'd put empathy first. This best friend sounds terribly stressed over what is essentially an empty path. Hustling for grades devalues, and arguably un- dercuts, learning because grade-gunners tend to take fewer risks. Intellec- tual risk is the path to so many valuable things. To the extent your daughter invites your help, provide her with chances to understand her friend's motivations better. "What would motivate someone," you can ask her, "to stoop to nanny-nanny-boo-boo taunting of her own best friend? Is tearing someone else down the behavior of someone who feels good about herself?" If she says yes, then the next question presents itself: "Is that what you'd do, if you got an A and she didn't?" A "no" answer at either point signals a lesson learned by your daughter that she can, on her own, learn to apply in real time as she deals with her friend. Revisit as needed. If instead you get yeses, then you note that you're disappointed by her answer, because you ex- pected her to understand as well as anyone how it feels to be on the receiving end of such taunting. Then, again, you back off and let her work on this in her mind and on the ground as she navigates her friendship. Friendships are emotional laboratories for kids. Teen has heard enough from friend who brags about grades Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Taurus(April20-May20)— New partnerships could prove prosperous. Join a cause or group and make new friends. Those sharing your views will help you reach your goals. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Don't let your disappointment show today. If something is puzzling you, ask questions until you figure out how to fix what's gone wrong. Don't give up. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Your thirst for knowledge will lead to cultural events or exotic destinations that will help you discover interesting facts. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Good fortune is heading in your direction. Look into an opportu- nity that you feel has potential. Put forth an effort and spruce up your surroundings. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — All you need to do is ask, and you will receive all the help you are looking for. If you express your feelings truthfully, your friends and colleagues will be glad to help you reach your goal. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Your unusual way of facing problems will help you find a way to aid a friend. Distinct solutions based on smart intuition will lead to your success. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Make physical activity part of your day in order to feel rejuve- nated. Meeting people from dif- ferent walks of life will give you valuable information. Network to gain support. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Do your best to clear up a misunderstanding. Making amends will lead to better sleep and new possibilities. Forgive, forget and move forward. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Your willingness to pitch in and help will result in a new friend and ally. You'll get the assistance you need to turn your venture into a success story. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Pare down your ideas if you want to make headway. Focus on the one thing that moves you the most, and see it through. Put quality, not quantity, first. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Get your friends together and check out a local attraction. Your planning will encourage your peers to look up to you. The more diverse you are, the more popular you will become. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Taking advantage of mon- etary matters will improve your financial situation. Keep your mind open to new ideas regard- ing investments or savings. You will receive a helpful tip from an expert. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, APRIL 25 Friday,april25,2014 rEdBlUFFdailyNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B