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2B – Daily News – Monday, April 25, 2011 FEATURES Mild mannered man muffles mate Pills can be difficult Dear Annie: My wife and I have been together for 12 years. For most of that time, it seems we have been follow- ing my preferences in terms of jobs, living arrangements, etc. I have an office job, and she stays home with our three kids. We also live in the small town she grew up in and run a farm with her father on the side. Annie’s Mailbox Apparently, I have inadver- tently made her feel very much in my shadow, even with her family and friends. I am more vocal and like to get involved in what’s going on. My wife thinks I try too hard to please people and accuses me of being a ‘‘yes man.’’ by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ued. You are not responsible for the way your wife handles herself socially, but you can make a point to ask her opin- ion and have her weigh in on all decisions that affect her. You seem eager to improve the situation, which means you are likely to succeed. (And we’ll just assume the decision to live in her home- town and work for her father was entirely your choice.) Dear Annie: After reading a lot about STDs, I decided to get tested. Fortunately, everything is fine. I asked my doctor if it was odd for a senior citizen like me to get tested. He said, ‘‘I wish everyone would do it.’’ I adore my wife and feel terrible that this situation has snowballed into her hating me for making her feel like my accessory. I appreciate her as my partner, but often feel like I’m in a position to ‘‘make the call.’’ Annie, I want her to feel as special as she is — charming, welcoming, the best mother I could want for my kids and a sup- portive wife. How can I boost her up and make her the limelight around other people? How can I get her to feel as important as she really is? — Love My Wife Dear Love: People like to know they are heard and their opinions val- There are STDs that have no symptoms, and some are incurable. I read that HIV is showing up way too much in the senior community. I don’t plan on getting that or anything else. Just because someone says he or she doesn’t have any STDs doesn’t mean it’s true. They might not even know. I am all for sex with a committed partner, but I think the casual sex shown on TV doesn’t send a responsi- ble message, especially for younger people. I won’t have sex with anyone until I first see his STD report because I don’t plan on acquiring an incurable disease for the rest of my days. Be careful out there. — Nancy Dear Nancy: Thanks for the warn- ing. Regardless of age, if you have had unprotected sex, sex with a new part- ner or sex with more than one partner, you should be tested for sexually trans- mitted infections. Some can remain dormant for years, and others can be infectious even when there are no symptoms. Those interested in more detailed information can contact the American Social Health Association at ashastd.org. Dear Annie: ‘‘Why Is It Always About Him?’’ is married to a self-cen- tered man who thinks it is her job to prepare his food just so. You said many wives would ‘‘simply humor him’’ and suggested online counseling. The problem is his, not hers, and she is well within her rights to com- pletely stop cooking for him and insist that HE see a counselor if he doesn’t like it. The obnoxious ones in a rela- tionship are the ones who should seek help and change if they want to remain married. — N. Dear N.: It would be wonderful if those ‘‘obnoxious ones’’ recognized the need to change and were willing to do the work. They are not. That’s why they are obnoxious. It’s their spouses who must take the necessary steps to decide whether they can live with them. My life as a frog Frogs are not exactly the most intelligent creatures on the planet. I have been told that if you try to pop a frog into a pot of boiling water, he'll jump out every time. That's pretty smart. But if you put the little fellow into a pot of cold water, set it on a low flame and warm it up slowly, he'll sit back and let you cook him to death. That's really dumb. I imagine the frog is so impressed by the nice warm water he doesn't pay attention to what's going on. Before he knows what hit him, Bam! Fresh frog soup. I spent a lot of years as a frog. Oh, I was never so foolish as to buy a boat or a car with my credit card. That's a boiling pot none of us could tolerate. No, when I jumped into the pot, it was really cool -- filled with freedom and options. My credit cards bridged that tiny gap between what we earned and what we needed for the lifestyle we'd chosen. I don't even remember when the temperature began to rise. It was so gradual. Maybe I flinched the first time we "revolved," when we couldn't pay our credit card bill in full. But I soon got used to the warming water. By the time I was fully cooked, I'd accu- mulated more than $100,000 in unsecured debt. Ouch! You have no idea how many times I've asked myself how I could have let that happen. My only explanation is that it hap- pened so gradually I didn't notice. I just overspent, consistently adding new debt to old debt and revolving all of it from month to month. I was flattered by cred- it card applications and credit limit increases. I believed they made a statement about my char- acter. Like a frog, I just sat there as the water got hot- ter and hotter and hotter. Thankfully, I did shed you? You could be close to the boil- ing point and completely oblivious. Perhaps it's time to take your temper- ature. Here's a thermometer of telltale signs to determine whether you're about to get cooked: •You use a credit card to Mary Hunt Everyday Cheapskate my amphibious nature and got out of a rolling boil, but not without a lot of, shall we say, cooling down. It took a full 13 years to repair the mess. Are things getting a little warm for buy day-to-day necessities, such as food and gas. • You pay only the mini- mum due on your credit card balance. • You're behind on your payments. • You frequently receive late notices and pay late fees. • You're at or over the limit on your credit cards. • You cringe when the phone rings. • Your credit report stinks. • You do not know how much you owe or what you spend on interest. If things seem a little hotter than they should be, I suggest you perform a most un-froglike move: Get out! Ribbit. DEAR DR. GOTT: My mother is 87 years old and has great difficulty swallowing pills. They get stuck in her throat, and she is so afraid of choking she would prefer not to take them at all, which is not an option because of her many medical conditions. Can you offer any guidance? Her entire family is terribly concerned. DEAR READER: I do Dr. Peter Gott have a few recommenda- tions that might get her back on track. Your mother should take her pills at a time when she doesn’t feel she is under stress. She should be relaxed and assist- ed by a single family mem- ber or appropriate person with whom she feels com- fortable. Don’t perform the task if everyone is gathered around, coaxing her on. Fur- thermore, it helps the swal- lowing process if the mouth is moist. You might begin the process by setting out her pills and having her sip some water prior to even taking her first dose. Lubri- cate the tract, so to speak. Then she can place a pill in her mouth, take another sip, and the pill should glide down. Placing some types of pills in a small plastic reseal- able bag and crushing them within the bag using the back of a spoon will break them up. Then empty the contents into a spoonful of applesauce, yogurt or other appealing food. Should she take capsules, simply open the medication and pour its contents into a spoonful of food. Another option is to purchase a pill crusher. If the medication is coated or has a delayed release action, the pills should never been crushed, broken or chewed. Check with your pharmacist before crushing any medica- tions. My next recommenda- tion, and perhaps the easiest, is an over-the-counter prod- uct known as Pill Glide, a water-based lubricating gel. A flavored, metered dose is squirted into the mouth. It is free of sugar, dyes, gluten and casein, has no active ingredients, and is non-aller- genic. It is available in several flavors through Walgreens, CVS and Publix, and is also available via the Internet through Amazon. It has been a revolu- tionary break- through for chil- dren who had previously been on oral medications only because they couldn’t swallow a pill, as well as for adults with a history of Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, cancer, stroke or those who simply can’t swallow a pill of any size. As an aside, three of the most commonly flavored liquid prescription medica- tions on the market are amoxicillin, Tamiflu and Azithromycin. Many phar- macies now incorporate this innovative option by crush- ing pills and adding flavors, making taking any pill more desirable. And you can request your flavor! Incorporate one or more of my recommendations into your mother’s daily medication routine, and alle- viate her stress. Good luck. DEAR DR. GOTT: A few weeks ago, you said putting nail hardener on skin tags helps to dry them and consequently they fall off. Would it be possible to do the same with seborrheic keratosis spots? I have many. Thank you for your consideration. I am an 80- year-old healthy female. DEAR READER: Oddly enough, I just received a letter from a reader who indicated that she used it for that very purpose on an unsightly lesion. She applied it once daily, peeled it off after her daily shower, and then reapplied a new coat. The lesion was totally gone after several weeks. My guess is that the polish worked as a barrier, keep- ing the lesion dry and with- out vital oxygen for nour- ishment. She believed clear nail polish might have worked as well but did experience excellent results with the nail hardener. 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