Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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When It Comes To Weight Loss Surgery, You Have Options. When It Comes To Helping You Choose, And Information. We Give You Options f SENIOR CORNER The 50/50 Rule Part Three by MARTHA OWEN & SUSAN GUY As mentioned several weeks ago, we are sharing a series titled The 50-50 Rule. Home Instead, Inc. conducted a study to assist siblings’ collaboration in caring for their aging parents. Today we will discuss birth order and the Top Five Sibling Caregiver Hot Buttons. Birth Order According to research con- ducted for our network, 64 percent of youngest siblings are primary caregivers compared with 57 percent of oldest siblings and 49percent of middle siblings. Furthermore, 43 per- cent of youngest children say they have the closest relationship with their parents, while 70 percent of oldest children describe themselves as the responsible ones and 40 percent of the middle children as the peacemakers of the family. The Cornell University gerontologist Karl Pillemer, learned that mothers ages Village Surgical Associates Has Been Named An American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery Center of Excellence According to research, one sibling is responsible for the bulk of the care of Mom and Dad in 43 per- cent of US families. 65 to 75 were willing to name favorites and express a preference for their primary caregiver. Mothers generally desire the one to whom they feel most emotionally close. Another significant bit of criteria for selection of primary caregiver is who lives the closest to the parent. That particular child is more likely to know the cur- rent history of the parent so he or she might be the best choice. Discussions among all of the family members, prior to any caregiving needs, can help to pave the way for good decision making. A parents’ desire should weigh heavily in this process. Top Five Sibling Caregiver Hot Buttons Family caregivers know all too well the sensitive issues that can send brothers and sisters into turmoil. Family caregiving can be stressful under any circumstanc- es. But certain situations are hot-button triggers. These events can make the life of caregiving siblings more difficult and lead to family conflicts. • ILLNESS: A senior loved one who becomes ill or faces declining health can leave a family facing all sorts of potentially difficult issues. Who provides the ad- ditional care? Is there a team approach or does one sibling bear the brunt of the caregiving? Family members’ differing opinions and the changing needs of a senior can exacerbate the situation. • MONEY: Money matters often complicate life for seniors as well as their adult children. The recent recession left many older adults depleted of their savings while others may be outliving their nest eggs. Families can be forced to make tough caregiving decisions when their love ones’ finances factor into the equation. • INHERITANCE: While some families contend with a lack of funds to pro- Dr. James Classen Dr. Leo Davidson If you are 100 lbs. or more overweight and want more information about bariatric surgical options (including gastric bypass, lap band and other procedures) please attend our upcoming educational forums: Wednesday, April 20th Wednesday, May 18th at 6:30 p.m. Cape Fear Valley Education Center For an appointment with Doctors Classen or Davidson or to reserve a seat at our FREE educational seminar, please call 910.323.2626 1841 Quiet Cove • Fayetteville, NC 28304 www.villagesurgical.com 16 UCW APRIL 13-19, 2011 vide care for their loved ones, others have the temptation of a family inheritance influencing their decisions. If one sibling is encouraging a parent to spend the sib- lings’ inheritance and another is coaxing that parent to save the money, trouble is sure to ensue. • DISTANCE: While absence may make the heart grow fonder, it certainly doesn’t make life easier for a family caregiver. The siblings who live in the same town or city as their parents may be stuck with most of the caregiver work. According to research, one sibling is responsible for the bulk of the care of Mom and Dad in 43 percent of US families. Siblings who live far away can feel left out or, if they do speak up, they are viewed as intruders by the primary family caregiver. • STRESS: Life is stressful and family caregiving oftentimes makes it more so. Adult caregivers who have started a new job, are raising children or caring for their own spouse can soon become overwhelmed when senior family members need help. Those who are bearing the brunt of caregiving may resent siblings who are unable or unwilling to help. In fact, 46 percent of caregivers who say their sibling relationships have deteriorated say their brothers and sisters are unwilling to help. For more information including a guide to real-life situations that address the issues above and more, visit www. Solving family conflict. com, call 910-484-7200 or visit the local Home Instead Senior Care office at 2825 Arlington Avenue, Fayetteville, N.C. 28303. MARTHA OWEN & SUSAN GUY, Owners of Home Instead Senior Care, Contributing Writers. COM- MENTS? editor@upandcomingweekly.com WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM