Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/285600
DILBERT Scott Adams PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis PICKLES Brian Crane BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman GET FUZZY Darby Conley ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey ARGYLE SWEATER Scott Hilburn BIZARRO Dan Piraro DEAR CAROLYN » I get you are a strong believer of the be-content-with-yourself theory of singlehood. What I am not getting is when someone is longing for a baby, we "get" this and un- derstand if they skip other people's baby showers, etc. We can understand their pain. When someone is single and longing for a partner, we assume something is wrong with them for craving something outside them- selves. Your advice has really followed these lines and I don't see the longing as all that different. Please explain. — Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS » I don't "assume something is wrong with" anyone who has such a fundamental longing; suggesting I do misrepresents my long- standing position on this. Which is indeed to seek contentment with oneself — not because only defec- tive people do otherwise, but instead because doing otherwise is self-defeating. No life goes exactly as planned, and so our happi- ness with the one we have will depend on how we respond when it takes an unwanted turn. Infertility is indeed a similar, unwanted turn, but with significant differ- ences. For one thing, you can know you're infertile; you can't know you'll re- main single in perpetuity. Plus, infertility is a physi- cal condition for which there are treatments, and, when those fail, alterna- tives; the alternatives are imperfect, yes, and often prohibitively expensive or challenging, but they're part of a defined set of choices, typically made within a defined period of time. By contrast, an adult who wants to be someone's spouse cannot turn to medical interven- tion, surrogacy, fostering or adoption. Instead, that adult controls only him- or herself. Thus the long- range, make-the-best-of- what-you-have advice to someone single versus the short-range, manage-your- emotions-as-you-make- your-choices advice to someone facing infertility. Both of these situations have the power to derail someone emotionally for a time; in that, they are ter- ribly alike. The main difference here — and the gap in which your distress has found purchase — may just be that infertility al- lows for a logical grieving point, which people like me can then account for in advice and expressions of concern and sympathy for dodged baby showers. There is no such moment, no last round of IVF, on which a lonely person can hang his or her grief. Indeed, the undefined window of time can ag- gravate the pain of pining for a mate. So that is where I'd amend my advice: Pick a point, and grieve. Grieve what you hoped or planned for that hasn't material- ized. Dodge that baby shower OR wedding OR reunion. But keep letting grief make your decisions? No. Grieving when what you had planned doesn't work out Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. Answer to Previous Puzzle Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. NEA Crossword Aries (March 21-April 19) — You will not be taken seriously if you don't finish what you start. Fulfill your commitments to the best of your ability. Show every- one where you stand. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Love is on the rise. The more activities you are involved in, the more opportunities will come your way. Don't let another's opinions stand in the way. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Remain consistent today. The people who can offer you the most will be impressed by your stability. Your endurance and stamina will pay off. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Add a spark of excitement to your relationships by making special plans. An unexpected trip will lead to a new adventure. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — In- vest in your future, not someone else's. Do a thorough check of your paperwork to make sure that you're getting the full value from any contracts or financial arrangements you have pending. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — A poorly thought-out change will cause a major disruption in your personal life. You can avoid arguments by staying relaxed and rational. Take a deep breath before you share your feelings. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Plan to keep improving. Your best efforts will yield the most rewards. Laziness on your part will erase any chance you have to get ahead. Meet your respon- sibilities head-on. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Explore a creative move that will increase your freedom and help you pursue your goals. Keep tension to a minimum by walk- ing away from an argument. Update your appearance. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Don't let a personal problem distract you from completing a job. Your reputation may be at stake if someone questions your actions. Ensure honesty in all your dealings. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Be practical in your approach to your financial future. Get in touch with an old friend who can provide you with valuable advice. Moderation will help you get ahead. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — An unexpected financial gain could be imminent. Generosity will be your downfall. You can't buy love. A fair and practical approach will be required for progress. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Tensions will multiply if you are oblivious to other people's feelings. An agreement is pos- sible, but be willing to compro- mise. A heavy-handed approach will make matters worse. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, MARCH 28 Friday, March 28, 2014 rEdBLUFFdaiLyNEWS.cOM | YOUR DAILY BREAK | 3 B