Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/276751
DILBERT Scott Adams PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis PICKLES Brian Crane BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman GET FUZZY Darby Conley ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey ARGYLE SWEATER Scott Hilburn BIZARRO Dan Piraro DEAR CAROLYN » All my life, my mom ridiculed or belittled my feelings, especially anything nega- tive. She told me I wasn't feeling what I said, told me I was overreacting, too sensitive, or just ridiculous. I've never been able to shake the feeling that what I'm feeling is wrong. Now when I dis- agree with someone, my first instinct is to tell myself I'm being ridicu- lous. This has led to many confrontations that should have happened but never did, not standing up for myself, or just not voicing my opinion when I should have. All I ever do is sec- ond guess myself, and end up losing the opportune moment to communicate. Last night, I told my neighbor at 3 a.m. that he needed to quiet his dog, which had been barking for an hour. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, my heart was pounding. I was panicking over the fact that I had told some- one I was displeased, even though I know I was totally in the right. How do I stop feeling this way about my own feelings? — Not Knowing When to React DEAR NOT KNOWING » That's what therapy is for, really — the long process of teasing apart emotional knots. Cognitive Behav- ioral Therapy in particu- lar, I think, could help you rewire your responses; something so ingrained just isn't going to go away with one tweak or one, all- clarifying "Aha!" If you don't have a regular doctor you can ask for a referral; check to see if your employer offers an Employee Assistance Pro- gram. If you're uninsured and/or unemployed, then call the Helpline at the Na- tional Alliance on Mental Illness, 800-950-NAMI to ask about local support groups and clinics. Also — you don't al- ways have to stand up for yourself in the "opportune moment." Often it's pos- sible, and quite effective, to revisit a situation later after you've had time to think. One way to break into it is to explain: "I wish I had spoken up in the mo- ment, but it took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to say." Doing this can also help train your mind out of its self-defeat- ing rut. DEAR CAROLYN » Re: Not knowing: That was me. I had been led to believe my whole life that whenever I got angry, I was just be- ing difficult. I thought for years that any negative reaction I had to anything (other than say, world hunger) was an overreac- tion. Therapy has been HUGE for me in terms of accepting my emotions as legitimate and in try- ing not to beat myself up when I spoke up or set an emotional boundary and stuck to it. It also helped me find healthy people who accept my emotions all over the spectrum as real and acceptable. — Anonymous Excellent points, thanks — especially about finding healthy people. Therapy can help you learn how to justify your emotions Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. Answer to Previous Puzzle Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. NEA Crossword Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Financial or career gains could be heading your way. ap- proach your boss for a raise or send out your resume. Aries (March 21-april 19) — consider reconnecting with an old friend and take advantage of any travel deals that turn up. romance is on the rise. Taurus (april 20-May 20) — Look after your interests. some information you receive will be inaccurate. To save costly delays, you should verify every piece of information before moving forward. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — change is in the air. you'd be wise to check out real estate opportunities. Find a property or location you are interested in and make some inquiries. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Keep your dealings with others to a minimum. someone will consider your goals to be unre- alistic. don't waste time trying to persuade others to see things your way. Leo (July 23-aug. 22) — Put your creativity to good use. channel your energy into a project that interests you. If you do something that you find stimulating, you will make new friends along the way. Virgo (aug. 23-sept. 22) — your plans are gaining momen- tum. It's important to keep up the pace if you want to avoid being sidetracked by someone trying to outmaneuver you. Libra (sept. 23-Oct. 23) — If you keep an eye out, you will find an attractive deal. Muster up some courage and go after your dreams. you are likely to redeem some surpris- ing benefits, as well as some recognition. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — you will run into several pitfalls if you don't take mea- sures to ensure your success. Be happy with the results you achieve, however long it takes you to get them. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-dec. 21) — Let your adventurous side take over. Feel free to try something new, but don't over- estimate your abilities. If you let people with experience lead the way, you will reach your goal. Capricorn (dec. 22-Jan. 19) — some of your relationships may have grown stale or unful- filling. Take a step forward, and look for new people, places and pastimes to stimulate your mind and get you back in the game. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — It's time to effect some necessary changes. Whether you have to make an adjustment to your financial, intellectual or physical situation, it's a good day to take action. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol THURSDAY, MARCH 13 Thursday, March 13, 2014 rEdBLuFFdaILyNEWs.cOM | YOUR DAILY BREAK | 3 B