Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET by MARGARET DICKSON My father, bless his sweet and precious heart, was possessed of an impressive set of what is known in our family as “truck door” ears. The translation of this is that his ears did not lie close to the sides of his head. In fact, they stuck out, a physical fact of life made all the more noticeable by the close-cropped hair styles favored by my father and other men of what Tom Brokaw called the “greatest generation.” My father’s ears were just part of the wallpaper of our family’s lives as are my freckles, but I was reminded of them earlier this month by no less a personage as President Obama. Speaking to a White House conference on bullying, the President referred to his own outstanding set of truck doors as something that set him apart from other students during his growing up years. Like the First Lady’s campaign against childhood obesity, the high- profi le White House conference was an effort to shine a spotlight on the torment and intimidation that bullying infl icts on as many as 13 million American students every year, about one third of those attending school in our nation. The conference’s message is simple and clear: Bullying is pervasive and bullying cannot be tolerated. I suspect my father took some kidding, at best, and bullying, at worst, about his prominent ears. I remember more, though, the unceasing attention paid to several other students regarding weight, family circumstances, and, in one instance, epileptic episodes. As we moved into adolescence, the comments to these and other students became crueler, sometimes referencing sexual contexts and acts that neither the name caller nor the unfortunate target actually understood. I remember the terrifying confusion of witnessing bullying and not understanding how to respond without risking becoming a target. Today, bullies do their cruel dirty work not only in school hallways and on playgrounds but through technology, a practice known as cyber bullying. It is pervasive, terrifying and now the subject of much media attention because of teenagers who have killed themselves after such taunting, mostly by their contemporaries but, astoundingly, sometimes by adults. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry is well aware of and offers thoughts and advice on bullying to parents and educators. No one will be surprised that boy bullies are more likely to be physical with their victims, whether WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM they are boys or girls. Likewise, it is no shock that girls are more often verbal and direct their bullying at other girls. Both boy and girl bullies have often been the victims of bullying or other abuse themselves. They may be depressed and angry about personal situations. Bullying can lead to signifi cant academic, social, emotion, and legal diffi culties and, if it continues, calls for professional evaluation and possible treatment. Victims of bullying, as many of us know fi rst-hand, are often smaller or younger than their bullies and may have diffi culty defending themselves. Being “different” is often the reason for bullying, and those differences may include race, weight, religion, clothes, home situation, disability, sexual orientation, health problems or any other factor that sets them apart from others. Victims of bullying may become withdrawn, depressed or reluctant to go to school. Grades may suffer and social connections may change or end. Their undeniable distress can affect social and emotional development and performance in school. Bullies and their victims are generally children and adolescents, and bullying infl icts scars on both sides. The aftermath of bullying follows both perpetrators and victims into adulthood as well, trailing mental health issues, some addressed professionally but often unaddressed and fl owing into subsequent generations. In all circumstances, parents and educators are wise to have their “bully radar” tuned in at all times so that both bullies and their victims see that there are adults to whom they can turn. Whether the young person dear to you is a bully or a bullied, there are long-term repercussions that no one wants for someone we love. Most states, including North Carolina, have laws against bullying and cyber bullying. The challenge is helping adults, both educators and parents, understand that bullying is not a normal adolescent rite of passage but behavior that damages both the victim and the perpetrator and can be a criminal offense with legal penalties. And what exactly did Barack Obama share about bullying, up close and personal? “I have to say that with big ears and the name that I have, I was not immune. I did not escape unscathed.” The mother in me can only look at his truck doors and say, “Bless his sweet and precious heart.” MARGARET DICKSON,Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? editor@upandcomingweekly.com THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET Unacceptable Behavior Your Source for the Thank You... to all of our fans and sponsors who attended the opening game of our inaugural season. It’s this outpouring of support that drives us to perform at our highest levels, both on and off the eld. We are proud to represent the City of Fayetteville and thank you for your continued support. Force Field. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $40 Regular and Club Seats. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15 Military & Students (with proper ID). . . . . . . .$12 Children’s Tickets. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$ 9 GROUP SALES NOW AVAILABLE! Your Ticket to Fayetteville’ Get the Force for Your Organization! Youth Groups • Churches • Corporate Functions Neighborhoods • Girls/Guys Night Out • Schools A Great way to say “Thanks” to your customers • Ask about sponsoring “Tickets for Our Troops” to show appreciation to our men and women in uniform. For everything Force, go to: www.fayettevilleforce.net Get behind the scenes and into the game: www.fanteractive.com give us a call: 910.920.9200 MARCH 23-29, 2011 UCW 5 etteville’s Action Attraction