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Tuesday, March 15, 2011 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Dysfunction drags down duo Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our mid- 60s, married 42 years. Our mar- riage hasn’t been great, but it’s also not horrible. About 15 years ago, my husband devel- oped erectile dysfunction and stopped wanting sex. I urged him to talk to his doctor, which he did. The doctor gave him some pills, but he refused to try them. I have tried other remedies on my own, but nothing has helped. I admit I am not beautiful, and I also am overweight. Still, I’ve always been this way. My hus- band never cuddles up to me in bed like he used to. He never puts his arms around me, kisses me or shows any affection what- soever. And he refuses to discuss it. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I feel like I’m living with my brother. Our anniversaries come and go with no celebration of any kind. Every little thing he does seems to irritate me, and I can barely speak to him. Of course, when I do, he doesn’t listen. Sometimes he actually walks away while I’m talking. I don’t know what to do anymore. Can you help? — Tired of It All Dear Tired: A low testos- terone count could be responsi- ble not only for a lack of interest in sex, but for depression, as well. This is fairly common and might be the source of your hus- band’s unwillingness to work on the problem. Ask him to go back to his doctor and get tested. It could make a world of difference to him, and it would help your marriage, as well. Dear Annie: Ever since my husband and I moved to a resort area, we have enjoyed many fam- ily gatherings at our house. These were invited guests at times that suited our schedules. Lately, however, the family seems to expect our house to be a spontaneous crash pad because we have ‘‘the most accommodat- ing space.’’ The truth is, almost every visit has become a financial burden and a physically taxing occasion, especially when they linger for days, sometimes weeks. Our util- ity bills skyrocket, the food costs are insurmountable, and this doesn’t include the unrelenting domestic chores with little or no help. During their stay, our house looks ransacked, with carpet stains, damaged furniture and tons of laundry. These are all grown, financial- ly secure, professional adults. My husband I have tried tactfully refusing them, suggesting other places, and designating meals and tasks, all of which were basi- cally ineffective. Telling them we have other plans is not a deterrent. Our home has turned into a hotel and storage facility. We love them, but we are at our wits’ end. Any thoughts? — Ocean City, Md. Dear Ocean City: You are going to have to be more firm and consistent. Say, ‘‘Sorry, you cannot stay here.’’ Don’t let them in the door. Don’t give them keys. When they complain, tell them point blank that you love them, but people leave the house a mess, no one contributes a thing, it strains your finances and you’ve had enough. You will invite them when you are ready to have company. Period. They may be upset, but they will only stop taking advantage of you when you insist on it. Dear Annie: This is in response to ‘‘Thrown for a Loop,’’ the wife whose husband was meeting a former co-worker for lunch. She requested a sepa- ration since he refused to stop these meetings. Although he should not be keeping these meetings a secret, she should not assume her husband is having an affair. I am a single woman with many married male friends. There are no affairs. I treasure these friendships and appreciate the wives who are not suspicious of us. However, if a wife is uncomfortable with her husband meeting me for lunch, she should join us. I would welcome her company and hopefully make an additional friend. — Monrovia, Calif. Dear Monrovia: We heard from a great many women, and most of them were furious. We agree that including the wife is a great idea. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Diamond, Cooper, Waits lead rock class NEW YORK (AP) — A singer-songwriter steeped in Brill building tradition, a rock band that exulted in singing ‘‘School’s Out’’ and a growler whose writing is widely respected by his peers are set to achieve rock ’n’ roll immortali- ty. Neil Diamond, Alice Cooper and Tom Waits led the latest class to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Monday, joined by piano maestros Leon Russell and Dr. John and ‘‘Wall of Sound’’ singer Darlene Love. Their work was to be celebrated at the annual Waldorf Astoria black- tie dinner, then in perpe- tuity at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland. A tape of the ceremony is to air March 20 on Fuse. The Brooklyn-born Diamond wrote pop- rock hits for himself (‘‘Solitary Man’’) and others (The Monkees’ ‘‘I’m a Believer’’). Pres- idential daughter Caro- line Kennedy was the inspiration for ‘‘Sweet Caroline,’’ now Boston Red Sox anthem. He set- tled into a comfortable career as a middle-of- the-road concert favorite, although made some challenging recordings in recent years with producer Rick Rubin. Another New Yorker, singer Paul Simon, was to induct Diamond. Alice Cooper is the stage name for both singer Vincent Furnier and his band, known for 1970s era hard rock songs ‘‘Eighteen,’’ ‘‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’’ and ‘‘Schools Out.’’ Their concerts were steeped in horror movie theatrics, and singer Rob Zombie was to salute them Monday. Songwriter Tom Waits is well-versed in blues, poetry and bal- lads, with songs rough and romantic. Several of his hall of fame prede- cessors have recorded his work, including Bruce Springsteen (‘‘Jersey Girl’’), the Ramones (‘‘I Don’t Want to Grow Up’’), Rod Stewart (‘‘Down- town Train’’) and John- ny Cash (‘‘Down There By the Train’’). Another California-based song- writer, Neil Young, was to pay tribute to Waits on Monday. Russell’s long hair and beard gave him a distinctive look, but it’s the piano player’s songs — particularly ‘‘Delta Lady’’ and ‘‘A Song for You’’ — that made him memorable. His career has recently been revived through a col- laboration with Elton John, who was to induct him. Dr. John has become a historian for New Orleans’ musical histo- ry, to which he’s con- tributed through songs like ‘‘Right Place, Wrong Time’’ with Allen Toussaint and the Meters. Singer John Legend was to induct him. Love lent her power- ful voice to several of producer Phil Spector’s hits, in acts like the Crystals and Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans. Her ‘‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’’ is a holiday standard: she sang on U2’s cover and performs it every December on David Letterman’s show. Bette Midler was to pay tribute. Elektra Records founder Jac Holzman and Specialty Records founder Art Rupe were to be inducted in the non-performer category. The rock hall has slightly shifted its for- mat this year, doing the inductions first then gathering artists togeth- er for performances. In past years, the perfor- mances have been inter- spersed throughout the night. Atelvia joins ranks of osteoporosis treatments DEAR DR. GOTT: I recently saw a tele- vision ad for Atelvia, a new osteoporosis treatment. Since I’ve never heard of it before, can you tell me anything about this product? DEAR READER: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved Atelvia (risedronate sodi- um) for the treatment of postmenopausal osteo- porosis. It is essentially a delayed-release form of Actonel. It is available in pill form that should not be crushed or chewed and is to be taken once a week with at least a half cup of plain water immediately following breakfast. A person may stand or sit but should not lie down for 30 minutes following inges- tion. If antacids or calcium supplements are taken rou- tinely, they should be con- sumed at a different time of day than the Atelvia. Common side effects include upset stomach, muscle, back and joint pain, diarrhea and flu-like symptoms. If you have medical conditions other than osteoporosis, a kid- ney disorder or difficulty swallowing pills, speak with your physician before using Atelvia. There are numerous other medications on the market that treat osteo- porosis. Some of the side effects can be dramatic. While they don’t occur for everyone, they have been documented and should be reviewed with a personal physician before usage begins. For example, bis- phosphonates (the drug category of Fosamax, Actonel, Atelvia, Boniva and others) can cause severe muscle, joint and bone pain, upset stomach, inflammation and erosion of the esophagus, and osteonecrosis (bone-cell death). Furthermore, they have been reported to weaken the femur and result in nontraumatic fractures of the bone and can cause atrial fibrilla- tion, an abnormal rhythm of the heart. I am not implying that preventive care is the com- plete answer or opposing physician-prescribed med- ication for post- menopausal osteoporosis. But until you make a deci- sion on a drug, try limiting your caffeine intake to about three cups of coffee or other caffeine-contain- ing products per day; dis- continue smoking; and add soy, calcium with vita- min D supplements, potas- sium, vitamin K, and fresh fruits and vegetables to Dr. Peter Gott your daily diet, as they should give your bones a boost. If you are physically able, add regu- lar exercise to your daily rou- tine to prevent further bone loss. If you are on corticosteroids, a diuretic (water pill), thyroid med- ication or take antacids containing aluminum, be sure to speak with your physician regarding any possible connection with it or them and your osteo- porosis. Readers who would like additional information can order my Health Report “Osteoporosis” by sending a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website’s direct link at www.AskDr- GottMD.com/order_form. pdf. DEAR DR. GOTT: I just read your article about Kangen water. Honestly, I don’t think you did enough research because if you did, you would not have said what you did. Japan is the healthiest country in the world. Besides, the way the East and West do things is very different. They are more interested in prevention. Doctors here are more interested in surgery and drugs. Your body cries for water. You’re not sick. You’re thirsty. Kangen water has no comparison. It’s that good. DEAR READER: I didn’t bash ionized water. I simply suggested some ionizers could be pur- chased for less money than the one Kangen markets. I did recommend people with questions have their water tested by a reputable firm to determine whether it is potable. I also went on to say if the reader felt ion- ized water worked, to stay the course. In any event, I respect your opinion and thank you for taking the time to write. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. 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